Don't you think our society is a too child oriented and this sets these kids up to be unhappy adults?

Question

Seriously, Everywhere I go people are fawning over kids and showering them with presents, entertaining them rather than letting them entertain themselves, smothering them with attention. I think this leads to very materialistic, emotionally needy, uncreative adults that are unhappy and fill unfulfilled because mommy and daddy aren't worshipping them anymore. I've been thinking about this a lot because my wife's pregnant and I want a happy child, but also a child that can grow to be a happy adult.

I also think it leads to unhappy parents often when they become empty nesters because that let their childrens lives become their lives

I find it interesting that everyone else disagrees with you gettin large. Sounds like your making excuses too prepare for your spoiling ways.

Answer 1

Very true! If you mean the United States, our society is way too child oriented! Television, schools, movies, church, etc all send the message that children are the most important people in the world.

My wife and I just had our first baby, and everyone reminds us "that baby should be the most important person in your life!" I'm sorry, but I still feel my wife is more important to me than my child. It's wrong for parents to prioritize their children over their spouses.

This mentality also leads children to grow up feeling arrogant. Everyone telling them how important they are starts going to their head and they start to believe they're the most important person in the world. But just like you said, when they grow up, they have to come to terms with the fact that they are no better than anyone else in the world. It's like we're deceiving children into believing they're more important than they actually are. By doing that, we are setting them up for disappointment in life.

Answer 2

I agree with you no matter other people don't agree with me.I think a child should be left sometimes.Not every time but sometimes,to entertain him/herself,because if adult do everything instead of children,how will children become independent and able to comfort themselves?!It's the same with responsibility.If the child isn't left to take some responsibilities,he/she wouldn't see why he/she has to take them as an adult.I always think about my children's responsibility, independence, kindness, studiousness, their own opinion,etc.I always think what discipline method could help them have these virtues.After their 7th birthday,they have their own rooms and independence.They decide what and when to do (responsibility).I sometimes leave them alone at home(when the other kids are 'somewhere') and see the maturity of any of the children.They have the responsibility to be independent and have fun alone in their room(or even in the house).That's how they won't feel loneliness when one day they have their own house.Anyway I hope more adults realise that children will also become adults and they shouldn't learn everything in the last minute!They should lean it all their life.

Answer 3

Yes, children are spoiled these days. Not all by the parents either. The grandparents are definately guilty in that. For me anyways. My inlaws babysit my daughter 3 days a week while I'm at work. They do EVERYTHING for her and they are always buying her stuff. I stopped telling them not to do that a long time ago, because they don't listen. When they aren't around, my daughter cleans up her own toys, sits at the table and asks nicely for things. I notice her attitude on the days that my inlaws watch her...I don't like it. I have her from Friday to Monday, completely listens to me, but when Tuesday comes around, all that i taught her, respect, responsibility, etc..has been thrown out the door.
I am actually tryign to teach my daughter some kind of independence. I have her play on her own, I have her do things on her own, and if she needs help, I'll help her, but only a little bit. I laugh with her and keep her happy. I stopped buying her "things" to keep her happy. I was afraid she'd get into the grove of every time we went to the store she'd want this or that and if i tell her no, she'd throw a fit. So that's why I stopped buying her things.
I see it in a lot of parents too. The parents are more clingy to their child than the child being clingy to them. Some parents are over protective about everything. I know someone that has a 4 year old and she's still letting him sit in a high chair at dinner...fear of him not sitting at the table correctly, she's too much wrapped around her sons finger to set rules down for him. It's ridiculous...but you can't go on living and hating the way people raise their kids. Raise your kids the way you want them raised....or the way you DON'T want them raised. I guess that was a good thing about me and my husband both being the youngest siblings in our family. We see our older siblings and how they raise their kids and we don't want to do the same as them, or we want to do it differently.

Answer 4

You are right. There is so much pressure on parents today to shower their children with unneeded stuff. The children who have had everything handed to them grow up to be unhappy, unfulfilled adults. If a child never has to work for anything, then that child will never experience the feeling of achievement, therefor the child will not ever strive for anything. They give up so quickly on everything....hence the high and climbing divorce rates! My favorite quote is....
Too much love doesn't spoil children, substituting presents for presence does.

Answer 5

I totally think you're right! It's fine to think kids are precious or whatever, but we have a duty to raise them as little adults, and teach them to depend on themselves, and this is where our culture falls short. Kids can be given a wonderful childhood that's going to prepare them for the real world without doing the damage of treating them like the center of the universe!

Answer 6

Unfortunately , our children are too spoiled these days, but the problem is that we cannot change it because everybody is like that, all we do is arrange fun things to do for our kids, or looking for a nice function they would enjoy but you can feel that the kids are always bored and they always look for something new, I always ask myself how my child will be when she grows up, I think she is too spoiled to be independent or a hard working girl, everything comes too easy, my advice to you is to try from day one to teach your child how to depend on himself.

Answer 7

America is a culture of trophy kids. They only do things for a reward which gives them self-worth.

They will all be burned out and jaded before 30.

Answer 8

YES!!! I am sick of people who expect the whole world to revolve around thier kids! I love kids, but these overindulged ones will grow up to be self centered adults.

Answer 9

I agree with you completely. Have 1 or 2, make them behave, don't ruin them, and everything will be alright. Have more than 2, and your asking for trouble. I'm pro-contraception, pro-vasectomy, and pro-choice. Kids are great, but parents can really screw them up.

Answer 10

WHAT?!?! LMAO! I think you're a nut! That whole love and affection thing is a big part of heirarchy of needs.. Didja miss that one in school? If you dont give your child attention they grow up to be loner, low self-esteem having disociative weirdos that cant form normal relationships or have appropriate responses to human interaction. This goes with the whole "spoiling a baby" thing.. If your baby cries, he needs something. They are too young to be vindictive or witty and get joy out of watching mommy run around using one arm. Please, work this nonsense out before this child gets here!