Should I tell my parents I work as a pole dancer?

Question

I am not asking for opinions on pole dancing please, just if I should be honest & tell them, or lie & say I'm doing bar work somewhere or something.

Here's some more details to what people havve asked: I am 26, living quite far from my parents, they are quite old fashioned, but I don't really want to have to lie - but I would if it's the best thing to do (for them not me). If I had an adult daughter then I'd want to know if she was doing it - I'd have no problem with it but I think my parents will. But I don't want to lie really. But I may have to! AARRRGGHHHH!!! Help meee!!! lol

Oh, and everyone I have asked about this (who know my parents) seem to think I shouldn't say. I have to phone my mother in the next 30 mins & I have to decide before then!

Thanks everyone. :) There seem to be reoccuring themes here. I haven't spoken to them yet but I think I am going to tell them I work in the stripclub, not as a dancer, but behind the bar - that way I can see their reaction to the venue & perhaps even a few months down the line tell them I changed jobs to working there as a dancer.
Thanks again guys, you have all been helpful :)

Answer 1

Why not. You are an adult aren't you? They have to deal with it.

Answer 2

Hi! I would tell them, although by doing so, you would bring them open to worrying about your safety etc. Have all the facts to hand so that you can answer all the questions they are likely to ask you. Understand that they may feel you're on the slippery slope into the sex industry. Nothing wrong with that if you play it smart, but after all, you're their little girl and they want to know that when you go out to work you're safe and valued in the workplace. Congratulations in having a body that can earn you big bucks! You don't say whether or not you're qualified in any particular profession or field - if you are, then this could be a disappointment to your parents that you are not using the qualifications you may have worked so hard to have gained. You are obviously a loving and caring daughter and they are blessed to have you - you're obviously thinking of their feelings - but believe me, it's best that they hear it from you. It also depends how open minded your folks are! I really wish you the very best with the dancing - as well as your parents! Take care.

Answer 3

Well sorry i didnt answer this till it was late but you have to go with what your heart says. You know your parents better than any friends do. I would try and see if you can come clean with them and tell them. The reason being is that in the future you will look back at this and if you were honest and upfront with your parents then you can be at peace with yourself. Trust me things have a way of coming back to bite ya later on in life.

Answer 4

This really depends on a number of things. First of all are you under 18?? Are your parents particularly moral?? Do you tell them everything? Do you dance close to home where you may run into people you know or know your parents? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you probably should tell them. But if not, its really a personal issue. Sometimes, people confess stuff to other people to alleviate their own conscience. Just something to think about.

Answer 5

YES! Tell them your secret. It would be better for them to know what you are doing from your own mouth than for a person they dont know to tell them. Or someone showing them a picture of you poll-dancing. Some times the truth hurts everybody but, at least you would have told the truth. It might hurt them but hopefuly they will forgive you. The truth is always better, A lie hurts for a long long time.

Answer 6

During the Falklands conflict in the early 80s society ladies often danced for visiting Polish men, this developed in the 90s into the pole dancing that we all know and love today.

As it was your mums vocation for a while, I'm sure she'll be happy to chat with you about your chosen career, you can both exchange happy memories and discuss how the sex industry has become less taboo and more sophisticated over the years.

Answer 7

I think you should tell because as a pole dancer, there are bad men out there and anything can happen to you so i would tell so if they don't hear from you they would know were to start looking.they may get mad are upset but they will always love you no matter what they will get over it,you should not lie to them would you wont them to lie to you?are should i ask you would you wont your children to lie to you,,,,good luck

Answer 8

I think it depends on how old-fashioned your parents are and how far you go in your pole-dancing.
Is there any possibility that they would except you being a pole-dancer? Cuz if not, then don't tell...what they don't know can't hurt them.

The only problem is if they find out and it didn't come from you.

Answer 9

You know your parents best and how they'll react. If telling them the truth would cause them to cut ties with you, it would probably be smarter not to tell them. You seem as though you just want the truth to come out so you don't have to lie about it.

Think long and hard and the answer will come to you.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

Why would you lie to your parents?
OK I realise its something we all have to do at some point to save them heart break or disappointment but you're an adult now.
If you're not ashamed of what you do and you're happy I'm sure your parents will support you even if they don't agree with it.
Be gentle and give as little detail as poss.
reassure them and everything will be OK

Answer 11

It really depends on your situation. If you still live at home and are dependant on them then I think you should tell them. If you lead your own life away from them then I don't see that it is any of their business. Of course, if you all live in a small town then they will find out eventually anyway, in which case it is probably better coming from you.