how do i tell my parents ???

Question

how do i tell them that they are over protective? i'm 14 and not allowed to date yet! i used to go to the movies every friday and now i go at least once! i can't have a feind stay the night b/c they are scared i will snick out. they might as well put bars on my window!!!! please help how can i tell them to back off a little??

Answer 1

Looks like everyone is telling you 14 is too young... Age isn't really the issue. It's trust.

Here's the bottom line -- your parents care about you. I've got 2 daughters myself, so I can relate. Your selection of friends says volumes about how much your parents trust you. I know you trust your friends... but a lot of times your parent don't even know them. As your parents get to know your friends, they will come to trust them (and you) not to sneak out and stuff. The same thing goes with your friend's parents. You need to make an effort to build a relationship with your friend's parents too. The more effort you make, the more trust everyone will have that you will do the right thing.

I can tell you that I would not be comfortable having my daughters staying the night at somebody else's house. My kids may be comfortable, but unless I know their friends and am sure that their friend's parents are responsible, I would tend to say "no" myself. It's not really about trust in my kids. I trust them. But, in today's world, I can't always assume that everyone is well-intentioned.

Answer 2

I am a mom, and I personally feel you are too young to date, as well. Wait until you are in high school for formal dating. You can't get anywhere on your own anyway. Try school dances, and get involved in school activities to spend time with friends. Go to school athletic events. Ask them why they are concerned about you having a friend stay the night. It doesn't sound like the concern is about you sneaking out. You could do that alone and are more prone to do it to get to your friends! Just doesn't make sense. Also, if you had more freedom before, have you done anything to damage the trust your parents had in you? This can be very hard to fix, and in this case, I would say you need to sit down with both of them and ask them how you can earn their trust back, and then do it. You will begin to have leverage with them by being responsible. Try to negotiate, but don't push your limits. Also, don't sneak out! You will always get caught! Moms know! :) I remember!!!

Answer 3

I know your 14, but you are just 14. I understand you because I'm 19 and my parents are over protective with me. They wont let me go out with my 23 year old boyfriend and we've been together for almost 3 years. And I understand them because they don't want anything to happen to me. Never lie to your parents about going out cause you'll make things worse. Just tell them how you feel and take things slow. Don't rush into anything cause you are just starting life now. I wish you the best of luck and try to understand your parents too.

Answer 4

Oh my gosh! Sweetie, they are WAY overprotective. I'm sure their hearts are in the right place...but do they realize they are potentially setting up the groundwork to have rebellious children? Children, if not allowed to have "normal" childhoods, teenage years, will most often than not, REBEL, cheat, sneak, and lie to be NORMAL. As far as how to approach them? I don't know your parents, nor do I know how "approachable they are"
I will tell you I have a 14 year old daughter myself...and I feel quite comfortable letting her spend the night and have friends spend the night. She has a boyfriend..but all they do is talk on the phone...lol
Good luck sweetheart!

Answer 5

At fourteen I think you're going to hit a brick wall.
At sixteen maybe you've got a shot at talking to them about it, but until then carry yourself and act like a mature human being. Don't give them any reason to question your maturity or integrity. Once they feel you are grown up enough, you'll get some slack.

But sometimes, parents just have a hard time letting go, and you might be fighting it until you get out of the house.

Answer 6

Well first thing stop complaining to them and talk to them. They might understand better if you sit down with them and talk to them about it. And if you cant talk to them do you have a grandmother or grandfather who will talk on your behalf? Or perhaps an aunt or an uncle? And ask them why you cant have a friend spend the night? You have to assure them that you will not sneak out. gain their trust and you see things will; be better. Good Luck I hope things work out for you.

Answer 7

i don't mean to sound cliche or anything, but your parents would know what's best for you... it's true, even if you don't want to believe it... i'm 16 already, and i've been there, so i know how you feel... even now, my parents still tend to be overprotective... what CAN you do? don't complain too much and try to understand that they're just trying to protect you... yeah, i know it can be too much at times, but you can try bargaining with them... ask for a bit more slack.. don't demand too much, and who knows, maybe when you get a bit older, they'll let you off the leash...

Answer 8

just say mom or dad or w/e i need to have my own space when i was not allowed to date that what i did ! but the fact that ur not allowed to have a friend ova is bull crap ! why, do you hang around bad people ? im sry 4 ya and i wish you the best of luck w/ ur issues w/ the parents ! it is never good to have a issue w/ them !

good luck !

Answer 9

You have done something to mislead them it sounds like. 14 is too young to "date" anyways. If you were my daughter I would want you to come right out and tell me (my own has no problem telling me when she thinks I'm wrong). Tell them you want to comprimise and see what happens. It's our job to worry about you...especially being a girl.

Answer 10

Just enjoy your childhood while it last. When you are older you will wish you did. For most people it was the best time of their lives. Don't be in a hurry to grow up, it ain't all that.