An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
2006-09-19 00:06:49 · 14 answers · asked by ~~GuRLaTTitUdE~ 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his Mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But...
2006-09-19 00:08:42 · update #1
....But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
2006-09-19 00:09:11 · update #2
Very Funny!
Additional details: Very Funny!
2006-09-19 00:09:01 · answer #1 · answered by Λиδѓεy™ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
c that?? 6 thumbs up!
cool!
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.
Seconds before the end, a bolt of lightning struck taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with.
Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?!"
God chuckles, "Jesus saves."
2006-09-19 02:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by ~♥Andrea♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny.
2006-09-19 01:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by thomas A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haaaaaaa! lol those were both funny!....Thanx 4 the giggles! I needed them.....Hey! Tell some more!....lol
2006-09-19 00:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by ~♥~Piglet~♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joke 1: Really funny! *thumbs up*
Joke 2:*toes curl* Good one!
2006-09-19 04:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by Metal Paw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love both. Two Thumbs up!
2006-09-19 00:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Cool Z 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn That was long..But was worth it Lolllllll
I think ive laughed enough today
2006-09-19 00:14:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is such a gr8 joke.i just loved both
2006-09-19 00:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by pinku21 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that last one was hysterical!
2006-09-19 02:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by shenae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha...nice!keep posting...lol
2006-09-19 00:15:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋