To have or have not? Sex before or after marriage?!?

Question

I don't get the whole wait until you are married thing. I know that it is Judaism, Christianity, and Islam forbid sex outside of marriage. While it is totally normal in Western cultures world to have sex before we get married, our society and its older members, and religious individuals still look down on it like it is a moral issue or something.
I don't understand the logic in that. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and everyone always says that it is very important that you know as much as you can about a person BEFORE you get married. Shouldn't that apply to sex as well? Before making a lifetime commitment to someone isn't it extremely important to know if the two of you are sexually compatible?

Answer 1

Sex if fun.
Sex is dangerous
Sex is for one purpose to produce offspring

I would never forbid sex before marriage but to anyone that has sex before marriage you are responsible for the consequences for the rest of your life. You don't get to participate in sex and then blow off the problems it creates and the problems do not always go away.

Good sex is fun and great exercise.
Bad sex hurts and scars people.
Multiple sex partners spreads disease
Sex can cause offspring

If your willing to take the responsibility of having sex feel free to have it. If you marry someone you have already said you are ready to share responsibilities with that person the rest of your life.

Answer 2

Lets look at this with a broader perspective without bringing any religious issues into it. Couples who are not sexually compatiable may be perfectly compatiable in all other qualities and can lead happy and satisfied lives. And there are couples who lack compatiability in everything but they have great sex together. They too lead happy and satisfied lives. So this is a subjective matter. The important thing is to get some assurance about the trust and character of the person you intend to marry and live with. And checking for sexual compatiability before marriage will neither give you that assurance of trust nor help you determine the character of a person.

Answer 3

What a great question! I am old but, believe it or not, I do think that this is a very individual decision and for some people, it is wise to wait until marriage for their own values. For others, it will be right for them to experience sex before marriage.

I do think, though, that the decision should be made with our heads and not our more irrational parts. Think about it, decide if you are ready for the possible consequences, talk about it with your partner, and then prepare together with contraception.

When you do have sex, celebrate it because you always remember the first time and first person.

Best wishes from a grandma-aged person.

Answer 4

...1. Marriage counselors report that many who engaged in sex before marriage experienced problems in the sexual arena after marriage.
...2. Being sexually active with multiple partners (who knows if you will marry this one?) increases the chances you will get an STD.
...3. If you wait until after you are married and become pregnant, your baby will have a solid home with a mother and a father.
...4. Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." I wouldn't mess with God.

Answer 5

it doesnt matter.just dont get sick,be very careful with who you do it if you decide to and don't overdue,you might get bored.it's true it is a personal desicion and do what you thimk is best,also remember that you have to deal with the consequences that sex could bring,just to mention:desease,pregnancy even crime and so what i think religion is trying to do is just stop the young or the stupid to hold them not to because not everyone is ready at a young age and you see them dealing with terrible situations because they weren't smart or mature enough and is actually true an i actually understand religion from that point of view,but if you anylize yourselve and see all the consequences and you think you have taken care of them.then there isn't nothing that is really stopping you to do it and be can be seen as wrong because it isn't.and about marriage,it is very simple,it is prohibited but it is not wrong in a moral way,it won't decrease value for any of the ones getting married and it certainly won't affect marriage if you see it maturely because phycically you're both healthy and cappable of loving so there's nothing wrong about it.

Answer 6

Depends on the society you live in and your religious upbringing. They follow the Bible and the Qarran, which have rules established for marriage. In the western societies there is far too much at stake when deciding on a husband/wife. Myself I'd rather take the Ferrari for a test drive before I park it in the garage knowhutimean

Answer 7

Marriage is only a part of commitment, you can be married but still have affairs and have no commitment.

Sex for many is a major part of that, i personally wont buy a washing machine till i see it spin.

The rest of your life shouldnt be a regret, enjoy sex before and after, its a learning curve.

Answer 8

the logic of it i agree with....physical compatibility is a must and should not be postponed till u realize u messed up with the wrong person....but at the same time where do we stop then....have a child and see what kind of a father and mother we both prove to be or the issue of in laws.....my basic point is where do we draw that fine line.....the best is to find a suitable person, discuss all issues openly and as far as intimacy is concerned let it wait till u get legalized....

Answer 9

I had sex before marriage being a muslim, after marriage too, and still do... I got a 16 yr girl prgnant, i was 67 at the time, now im 89.. any problems ?

Answer 10

You must at least have some kind of sexual contact before you say "I do". One might not know what type of sex they want if they haven't "tested the water". For all you know, your husband might end up like Jim McGreevy coming out of the closet and going on Oprah to display his tell-all book about his "confessions." Both of you have to be on the same page when it comes to sex/intimacy, or you'll just divorce like the rest.