What men want....................................?

Question

Having just had coffee with a female work colleague who got dumped last night for being "too clingy" it got me to thinking - whats the perfect balance - like you can either be accussed of being too clingy when you're all about your man or too distant and not interested when you play it cool and try to give a guy space - whats your guys thoughts on this?

Bloody hell!! What a mixed bag of reactions!!! No wonder neither sex knows what the other wants!!!!!!!!!

Why do some people automatically assume Im acually the "friend" - come on guys - Id say it straight out if I were but fortunately its NOT me!!!! Jeez!!!

Answer 1

It depends on the man. It helps to know when to give any individual their space. Your friend might want to ask her self, "what was I doing that he considered 'clingly'"? Of course, your friend may simply like to be "close" a lot of the time. There's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps the guy she was with was just not as open to that sort of thing.

Personally, I love cuddling and hugging, a lot. Other guys, you violate their boundaries if you show affection too much. Like I said, it depends on the man you're with. Then again, if you mean "clingy", as in; she phones him multiple times a day, calls him on his cell phone asking where he is, or wanting to spend every waking moment with him, that's "clingy" to a different degree. Other wise known as being "over posessive".

You must use your discretion when making decisions. Ask questions if you're not sure. It's worth feeling silly asking some thing, opposed to not asking and having things "go south" because you were too scared to address an issue.

No guy is the same. This guy wasn't for her. It's that simple. Don't try and adapt your thinking and your way of life to some one else. The way it works is; you love/like some one for who they are and take them as they are. Period. Other wise, go look for some one else.

Answer 2

What MEN want...?????

MEN dont want the same things. Dont split the world up into two sections.... male and female. Split the world up into individuals, to each person!!!!!

Each person likes different things, and in this case.... Relationships.

This guy that dumped your colleague friend is just an example. "Too clingy" may just be an excuse to leave her... or maybe just an issue that he doesnt like.... who knows? They obviously are not meant for each other... and someone is bound to be out there that is suitable for her!!!

If we look at it in my shoes, I dont mind a girl being 'too clingy'. I dont mind a girl being 'too distant' either. The reason why I say this is because women are all different from each other and I make do to her overall personality with mine. Its about makijng it work for each other... and paying attention to what your partner likes and dislikes.

This question will give many types of answers.... meaning that 'men' expect different things in relashionships. You wont find that men will reveal the same answer....

All the best!!

/// Extra
about 'Shelly P' comment

"After dating a guy for a few years i hv learned alot."

I dont need to comment anymore here.... she is refering to one guy!!!

"At the beginning of any relationship guys love the chase on both sides but after you have been dating for a while, the guy seems to get bored."

I dont belive that is true at all!!! Believe it or not, some women are like this also... aswell as some men. I dont know what guys she is refering to, but then again that only a small percentage of the male population.

"They know they have you now, no need to make an effort anymore"

Again a pile of rubbish. As I said above, god knows what types of guys she's met. I dont tend to add anything more. Maybe I just get tired of all this 'Men' stuff. Who knows??

I have had bad examples with women, but I dont refer it as "all women are the same" attitude. However, many women always refer men as a whole. Maybe guys and girls should refer it as individual(s).. I say no more!!

;-)

Answer 3

Men generally do not prefer women to become "too clingy" to them. This invades their space, time and privacy. A lot women have the wrong notion that men love women who cling to them all the time. Men want to have their private moments and they expect women to recognise and respect this, as long as it is not a threat to their relationship. At the same time there are women who give too much freedom to their men. This again makes them doubtful and wonder if the relationship is really serious, i.e. if the woman really cares for them. And there's no such thing as 'perfect balance' because when perfection is expected, relationships become stressful leading to quarrels and rift. I would say that a woman - in a serious relationship or in love with a man - should not be too intrusive in his affairs. Don't try to tag along always and don't keep asking him about all his movements and activities. Sometimes give him the freedom to think and do what he wants. That will actually help to strengthen the relationship further.

Answer 4

If he liked her enough he wouldn't be bothered. Its bascially an easier way to say i don't like you.

Women sometimes to get obsessed and want to spend all there time with you and sometimes its just too much. I suppose it all depends on the level of your relationship e.g. how long you have been together.. If your talkin a week then thats over the top but a year maybe the guy should expect it and should be just as "clingy"

Answer 5

After dating a guy for a few years i hv learned alot. In general its a lose, lose situation. guys like to keep girls on their toes by playing it cool.At the beginning of any relationship guys love the chase on both sides but after you have been dating for a while, the guy seems to get bored.It could be that the couple are loved up but the guy starts to hold back and he wants a fresh challenge.girls seem to always be the ones to want to work things out and love kissing and hugging, whereas guys once they get bored, jst want to move on.They know they have you now, no need to make an effort anymore

Answer 6

Me personally I love the way my Wifey shows me ALOT of affection. I would never classify it as clingy. She's very open and forward in her love for me and I just can't get enough of her. I think that you have to be able to "SHOW LOVE" not just say that you love someone. It's so true that "ACTIONS" speak louder than words do. Maybe your friend should find a man that is affectionate and would really appreciate what a good woman she sounds to be.

Answer 7

depends on the couple but my ex was clingy in tghe sense she always wanted to know where i was and if i was late from work or just went out with friends she would go nuts, and start an argument, my current partner is more cool and because of her attitude we communicate so well if i am gonna b late i just ring and say and there is no drama and i not affraid to ring , as my ex used to treat me like she was my mother, so basically its all about balance take care

Answer 8

A little bit of both is the answer. You've gotta be able to read each others moods and know when he wants a little space or if he wants you very close to him. The same goes for girls except women tend to want the closeness more often!

Answer 9

Find a decent bloke who wants a grown up relationship rather than sticking his nob in every piece of skirt around then blaming his girlfriend for being too clingy?

Answer 10

There is no balance, thats the thing. Thinking to much as opposed to going with the flow. Every man is different and therefore have different needs, so the "balance" is different with everyman. Go with the flow and dont think so much, your gut always has the right answer.