What if you know your son is gay ?

Question

I am a Born again Christian, Baptised in the Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit filled woman of God.
My son Is also, since he was 7 years old.
I know I will get all kinds of answers here, but just remember,I am talking about my son here, he could be your son too.
I know the, Holy BibIe I do believe in it and trust it.
How dose a Christian single mom deal with something like this ?
I love my son, unconditionally, but not this, or any sin.
He's a kind, beautiful person, giving, cool guy.
I have suspected his condition since he was,1 year old, and now he is 16. He likes girls too, so he's bi-sexual.
Many ministers say this is a choise, a not a behavour,I use to believe this too,but now I don't know.
I am confussed, and this I know is Not of God.
Born again, Holy Spirit filled Christians, of gay kids,friends and family members need only to answer this.
Only if you are in my shoes could you possible understand. By the way, this applies to Jewish, and Muslims also.
Help....

Answer 1

Just continue to Pray I guess...I have 3 sons ( all under 8 ) And My wife has a Gay Brother...Umm its hard im sure, If He is a Born Again....Is he Openly gay? or a closet gay..you obviously know hws gay so dose he flaunt it? If so he's Not a Christian. But if he has confied in you his secret..then you can remind him GOD's word. If he dont Care or beleive the word anymore..its in God's Hands..Just Love you son, Theres not enough time left to scold or lecture each time you see him unless you actually can..he lets you and is open for convorsation..if not Give it to GOD and ask The holy spirit to possess that boy..Good Luck Momma...God Bless!!

Answer 2

Being homosexual is not a choice. It is not a disease to be 'cured', and it is not something bad. Also, don't forget, it is not your responsibility to save everyone's soul. Love him, because he is your son, and just ask him to respect your wishes as you will respect his. 16 is still a child living under your roof, so ask him not to have friends over when you are not home. But remember that you should respect his decision too. It is incredibly trying to be a teenager, and even more so to be a teenager coming out to your parents. If he comes home and needs relationship advice, do your best to just give it, not judge him. Same sex relationships (especially in high school) have all the same problems of any other relationship.

I'd also like to point out that I am not a 'Born again, Holy Spirit filled Christian with gay kids, etc'. But, I am a pagan with a Born Again, Holy Spirit filled father whose brother was a homosexual. So I feel quite apt to answer this.

Answer 3

I hope I can help the best, seeing as I'm coming from your sons shoes. So far, you have the right idea, to accept that he hasn't changed AT ALL. He's still himself, you just now know the real him. Be proud he was able to share that with you.

Now, as for the bisexuality, this can actually be alot tougher at times if it isn't a choice than being gay, because he can't feel completely "whole" with just one person, it will always be lacking.

Now, it's true that today there are alot of people that choose to be bisexuals, and it really makes it hard for people born it to be accepted as such in their parents eyes. Your best bet is to go up and ask him if he chose to be bi, or if he feels he was born it. But even if he chose it, don't discourage it. Open mindedness is a welcome addition to the society, and if he chose it there's a good chance he'll end up with a woman.

Support him and don't fear for him, he doesn't need that pressure. It hurts alot to know that your parents disapprove of who you are. Continue to love your son, unconditionally, as you have, and you'll be just fine.

Oh, and just so you know, referring to it as a condition isn't the best way to go about it. Just say sexuality, it shows that you're not ashamed, which is what we're looking for the most. Being a single mother, your approval is the highest thing he seeks most likely.

I know I don't meet your criteria, but I hope this helps you show that this isn't something you have to "deal with", but something that is your son, and I know you'll love him no less.

Answer 4

I have thought about this, as I have two sons. They both are straight and have 9 children between them, plus 3 marriages for one. You know, when you love your children it is exactly as you say, "unconditionally". I do not know how God judges them, but the older I get, and the more I hear and meet gay's, I just am not sure what causes it. I do know that the ones that I have met, are very nice. I think that perhaps it is chemical imbalance of some kind, and maybe they cannot help it. I just do not get the sexual thing, how that could be anything good, but then again, I am not gay. I guess what I am saying is that, yes, I would still love him and accept it, but I just would not personally like it, and would hope it would go away. The way they have sex is abnormal to me, but I would just have to leave it up to God. Whether they can change, I do not know. You just have to pray about it, and ask God to help you. Good luck and God bless you. Your son is still a child of God, and I hope that you both will be helped with this. I think I would still love him and just pray that God would help him, or watch over him. That is really all you can do. Do not think that you created this, because you didn't, it just happened. My daughter is diabetic and I have to see her all her life, for 30 yrs. endure suffering from this disease, and my heart cries for her, but I know that all I can do is just pray for her.

Answer 5

I don't have a child that is gay, I do have children and I will pray for you both with all my heart.

I look at this as a sin, no different than any other sin, I would react the same if my son was a shoplifter, continuing to steal day after day.

I would still love my son, but would not accept the sin in his life. I would talk with him and explain how I felt and that this was not acceptable behavior.

I worry about what effect society will have on my children, how will they turn out. I try to teach them Christ like values and pray for them every day.

I hope God will send you the right answer to your prayers.

God Bless.

Answer 6

I don't think you should question him about it.
When he is ready, he will tell you.
In the meantime, just carry on as normal and be a good supportive mother of all that he does.

I think it is important that you do not treat him differently compared to if was not gay.
I don't believe that sexual preference is always a choice. In many cases people may choose "to be gay" but there are just as many cases where people are genuinely born that way.
You yourself mention that you suspected it when he was only 1 year old - and quite obviously, a one year old cannot choose his sexual prefernce already. So in this respect it his not "his fault" for being gay - or anyone else's for that matter.

Just love him as your son and all should go well.

Answer 7

Put aside your bible for a second and plug your brain in. How much choice do you have in your own sexual orientation. Did you choose to find men attractive? By the same token, could you choose to find women attractive? Would you choose to have a sexual relationship with a woman, knowing that soceity is full of bigots who'd make your life hell?

Your son is probably having a very tough time of things. He comes from a religious background, you live in a country where there's not much in the way of tolerance for people who are different, so he's got two choices in life: Live a lie, pretend he's straight when he's not, or eventually come out to himself and everyone else and be proud that your god made him this way for a reason (if that's what you believe).

He will need a lot of love and support. Try to put yourself in his shoes, instead of asking us to wear yours.

Finally - there's nothing wrong with being gay. There is everything wrong with being a hateful, violent, vengeful person and believe you me, he will encounter a lot of these in his life.

Answer 8

Watch Desperate Housewives.

I'm serious. Use Bree Van De Kamp as your role model. Set exactly the same rules as you would for any other teen – especially when it comes to bringing friends (regardless of gender) home for ‘homework’ or sleepovers etc. If he ever does cross the line, do what Bree did (watch the series to find out).

Your son is first a human being. If he can see himself as a valuable human and not the freak that society sees him as, I’m sure that would be a blessing in itself.

Answer 9

In my opinion you should support him as much as you can, even if doing so is hard for you. Remember that being gay, whether by birth or by choice will already make his life hard by having a lot of people outside his family segregate him and question his sexual preferences. He has no need to have his parents join the rest of the world in being against him. If you love him, you should truly love him and support him. I admit I don't know what Jesus would tell you to do, but I would be willing to bet that he would be on the side of loving your son instead of going against him. Nothing bad can come out of love for the people that you care about, believe me.

Answer 10

there are so many responses that support your kid, from christians even and not. Here's a gay Catholic kid's. Contrary to what they want every one to believe, being gay is not a choice. Neither is bisexuality. At least not as much heterosexuality can be. If it were a choice do you actually think there'd be so many of us willing to undergo the daily torture we do just for the fun of it? If your son choses to be interested in guys, it'd be a phase. There is no choice as to whom you'd be attracted to now is there? The choice is what you chose to do. Insisting that a gay person not act on his attractions is the same as asking a straight person to remain celibate all his life. Being bi is obviously more difficult as there are more support and understanding for homosexuals than bi's, so you cannot afford to let go of your son's hand.

On judgement day you'll be judged on how you treated Him, Christ, remember. Did you clothe me when I was naked, feed me when I was hungry, shelter me from the world's hate, cruely and spite, love me when the world shunned me. These are the questions posed to you. What do you want to answer him? He liked men too, that's just unnacceptable, so had to throw him out of my house?

Perhaps he's just attracted to the male presence as he grew up without a dad? Could this be? If so, perhaps he'll grow out of it? I'm just guessing.

Bottomline, support him. Christ's command was love. That's severely lacking in the Christian community. As another response says He'll judge, it's not our place to do so. And that includes ministers too!