I'm having dinner with agirl I like a lot tomorrow night. It will be our second time out together. I need to be sure she understands that we're not doing this a "friends."
Background: Met her through work but we don't work "together." We may work together in the future. A couple months ago she had surgery and I bought her flowers and included a card saying I wanted to take her out. It took me two months to grow the balls to follow up with an official "do you want to go out" butwe finally did last week. Now, our second "date" is coming up tomorrow.
The thing is, she's gorgeous and can be with any guy she wants. I know she is dating other guys. However, she doesn't want to be another notch in some guy's belt and that's not what I am looking for. I want to somehow put the ball in her court. I have asked her out and taken her out, but now I want her to tell me how she feels about me. How can I draw this out of her?
2006-09-18 22:07:09 · 16 answers · asked by contrafilms 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well plain and simple ask her if she would like to see more of you as you would really like to get to know her better and spend some quality time with her, us women love that quality time thing lol.
Don't do this all serious thou, but also don't make to light of it, pick your moment when the two of you are laughing and having a really light moment.
Make sure you tell her that your not into collecting notches in your belt, and you would prefer to be exclusive with someone.
Above all be yourself, you'll shine I'm sure, you sound like a nice guy and unless she is blind she will see this too, and you never know she may ask you all this first.
I wish you the best of luck with your lady. ;-)
2006-09-18 22:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Migz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're pushing this WAY TOO FAST. If you do this you will scare the crap out of her and she will RUN!!
I suggest you RELAX. Get to know each other better, don't put the moves on her really thick, but don't be afraid to hug her good night, a peck on the lips or the cheeks or forehead, hold hands, whatever, but don't do more than this or she'll think you're up to whatever the other guys wanted.
Give her awhile. Women are pretty vocal about stuff like this, so if you give her TIME she will tell you when she's ready.
Let her get to know you first, be patient, and if she likes you for YOU then she'll let you know without a doubt.
Just be sure also to not let her guess or think you're gay at all or she'll be turned off to you and just think of you as another bud.
Take her to romantic places, have fun, and tell her she's pretty and beautiful and how amazing she is, etc.
Figure out what means the MOST to her and do it for her, say it to her, and talk about it. Remember that. It's the key to anyone's heart.
Good luck!
Hope it works out!
2006-09-19 05:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A tough one! Just try to relax & be yourself. Try not to have any expectations. Maybe she does see you as a "friend" or maybe she is interested in something more but the best way to play it is to be casual, make conversation, maybe flirt innocently (compliment her appearance etc) & just see what kind of vibe you get from her. You can read a lot from a woman's body language. How she looks at you, laughs, her gestures (does she look you in the eye, does she lean in when you speak to her etc). You could try to draw things out of her by talking about dating & relationships in general & casually ask what she looks for in a man (to see if perhaps it's someone like you...)
I wouldn't come right out & tell her your feelings or ask hers point blank. This could be uncomfortable. Especially if the two of you may be working together in the future. & particularly if her feelings for you are more platonic.
At least you know she's interested enough in you to go out with you a second time. So at the very least she enjoys your company & likes you as a friend. That's not the worst thing in the world. & maybe she is attracted to you & would like to date you. I think you can usually tell by the look in someone's eyes whether they are "into you."
Be confident in yourself. Gorgeous women who could have "any man they want" often just want a good man who will treat them well. This is much harder to find than you might think! If you treat a woman with respect & kindness you'll separate yourself from the majority of men who perhaps just want to get her into bed...If she's a decent woman, she'll appreciate a nice guy. But there is also something to be said for chemistry. It's either there or it isn't. Some people you just click with, others you don't. It can be painful when your feelings aren't reciprocated but even if this is the case, don't despair, there are other fish in the sea!
Good luck! Remember, if it's meant to be, it will be & if it isn't, you can't force it. Just go with the flow!
2006-09-19 05:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by amp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only your second date. Slow down. you are going to scare her. She dates others you need to be taking up there time and making it yours. If she choose to say No, I busy tonight then you know she is not as serious as you. And by all means don't make a pass or be to forward in the notch area.There is a whole world out there , places to be see and people to meet. Sharing time will draw out what ever it is you are looking for and you will know when its time to say "I don't want to share you with anyone"
2006-09-19 05:19:37 · answer #4 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You appear to be an intelligent guy and probably nervous as hell *smiles*. Don't worry too much about the date tomorrow. You are a good judge when the time comes to steer her in that direction, you will do just that. Remember to have fun as well. I don't have any advice accept I have full confidence in you to do brilliantly tomorrow night
2006-09-19 05:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how was the first date? did she send signals she likes you? a 2nd date is a good sign-it takes time to get to know someone- and 2 dates is not enough. Take it easy- you can tell her you reallly like her- and see how she responds- don't ask-wait for her response-that should tell you plenty-D
2006-09-19 05:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to wait a little longer she might not even be sure how you she feels about you. you obviuosly are a nice guy so just be yourself and let her fall for you and shel tell you as she feels it
Shes come back for a second date thts a gud sing right?! : ) goodluck
2006-09-19 05:29:13 · answer #7 · answered by Penelope V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see if she'll go out with u a few more times before u can be sure she has something 4 u
2006-09-19 05:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by mbd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just relax & enjoy ur moment 2gether.
no need 2 say anythin coz u might scare her away... ur still in d gettin 2 knw stage so just take things slow...
she'll realize ur sincerity in a short while... b urself!
2006-09-19 05:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by 2D1iLuV 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you really like her not so? When your together, just tell her how you feel for her and ask her if she feels the same way.
Good luck!!!
2006-09-19 05:18:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ndaona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋