Since my divorce, i have met and dated several woman. Although they stay attracted to me, it seems like they all also appear to use me for my kindness and it feels like i am being taking advantage of because of my kindness. I have allowed a woman and her three kids to move in with me, and she claims to love me alot, but wont work to help me out with the bills. And even though she claims yo love me, doesnt show me much attention, and i always find her trying to get attention from every other man that she see's. She continually is pushing the Marriage thing on me, and i dont want to get married to her because she is very snoopy, always sneaking behind my back while i am at work, and looking through my personnal things, and even opening my mail and then glueing it back together acting as if she dont do these things to me, But infact always is.
Please all you woman out there, i dont want to hurt her feelings but i am not altogether happy, and i really want and need to be, what should ?
2006-09-18 22:02:27 · 7 answers · asked by bubba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Big mistake to move in with a woman with 3 children.
2006-09-18 22:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Don't marry her. It sounds like you're in no place in your relationship to get married.
2. Don't put yourself in a position where you can be "used." You should have had a talk with her prior to moving in about paying the bills, and doing work around the house. You gotta cover your own a ss sometime.
3. Stop being Mr. Nice guy. Tell her to stop sneaking around.
4. Stop being so kind. Be an adut and communicate your intentions and expectations up front.
5. Realize that you allowed this to happen. You let her and her three kids move in. You let her get this far without paying any bills. You are letting yourself get taken advatange of.
Now stop it!
2006-09-19 05:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by allforasia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, first and foremost you have to put yourself first. It is called taking care. Most will disagree with me and say that is selfish but how can you make others happy if you can't even make youself smile? She unfortunately is using you in every way and that is downright rude, not to mention heartless. Ask her to leave and then spend some time to focus on you and what life means to and for you right now. And then slowly take it from there. Hope I helped a little. Take care
2006-09-19 05:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bubba, wake up and smell the coffee. Women keep using you because you keep letting them. Don't let anyone treat you like you don't want to be treated. Help her pack and put her in the taxi. Change your locks and move on with your life. Then start practicing how to not get used anymore. You're the only one that can stop that from happening.
2006-09-19 05:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Janette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mate although this sounds a bit harsh..but u need to tell her...to stop doing that..i think she is using u big time the sooner u wake up the better.. it is. .. or forma different view she might have trust issue with u.. find out why have a chat with her.
2006-09-19 05:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by vikram m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being a doormat allowing every woman to come and wipe her dirty feet. tell the present woman politely but firmly to leave you, and search for some one who understands your kindness and reciprocates. the present relationship will sponge out all your energies
2006-09-19 05:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by trishul60 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy, then get out.
There are obvious trust issues between you two, that is very hard to ovecome.
2006-09-19 05:07:19 · answer #7 · answered by Daniel and Fang Fang in China 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋