Should I Trust Him?

Question

I am completely and totally in love with my boyfriend of one year. I recently found out that in the begining of our relationship he was having conversation with his ex that included things like "I miss you," and "love you." I also found out that while we were talking, but before we had consimated our relation ship he slept with someone else, all of which he lied to me about until I happened to find out tthrough e-mails. He says he loves me and needs me and that I am his only one. The problem is that I am very hurt and wonder if I can trust him. Help??

Answer 1

Trust is a very big word and comes in various variations.

Anyone of us would just ask you to jump ship to save yourself from further "injury". It is too obvious that your boyfriend is having an affair behind your back or just have a bigger sex appetite than an average male.

But then again,there's always another side of the story. If you can't pick up the courage to be nasty, I suggest you talk to him and issue the ultimatum. Tell him no matter if he is or not having a second love, this is what you like and dislike. Thus,there would be a guideline in your relationship for the both of you to follow. So,should the violation comes in,you can also take it as a reason to exit.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

So it was at the beginning of your relationship and he might not have been sure, where things were heading with you and the same is true when he slept with someone else. He didn't feel the need to tell you, because he was not sure about your relationship and he didn't want to hurt you. If he has been faithful to you since you got romantically involved with him, why shouldn't you trust him. He is lying to you, because he wants to protect you from getting hurt. I would questioning him, if he still has contact with his ex girlfriends. Just let him know, that you have a problem with that and if he loves you, he will understand where you are coming from. Don't be jealous of the past, I am sure they were other girls before you. Be happy!

Answer 3

he did something back in the day when you guys were not even officially seeing each other. He was kinda single still. Just because you went for dinner and a movie doesnt give you exclusive ownership until you both agree to it. So he was not cheating unless you both were clear that you were exclusive.
The question here is: Is he still doing this? A year can make a big difference in a person's life for either good or bad. Good luck

Answer 4

When you fall in love with somebody, you are no longer willing to risk loosing that person by cheating with another. The question you have to ask yourself is whether or not he was in love with you yet when he cheated. If not, then I wouldn't stress over the past. He probably does still love his ex. Once you love someone, you will love them forever regardless if the relationship was meant to last a lifetime.If he is in love with you now, he will not be willing to risk loosing you to her or anyone else. If you love him, trust him until he gives you a reason not to. If he can't totally be an open book, then you can't commit to him due to his behavior in the past. Nothing kills a relationship faster than doubt. Be smart, always keep one eye open...

Answer 5

I get the feeling that you two are pretty young. Otherwise, he wouldn't have kept those emails and you wouldn't have been snooping. If he was just talking to the ex and it was only when you first started dating, I wouldn't worry so much about that. The fact that he had casual sex with someone else, I would find harder to accept. That said, you said this happened before your relationship was "committed", so I say forget it and move on. I hope you're using protection from disease and pregnancy.

Answer 6

Any man who says he needs you should not be trusted loving you is one thing but needing you shows that he has secrets I speak from experience cuz every man that I've ever been with that continuiously told me that he needed me had something to hide so be on guard if he kept secrets from you before you can bet he'll do it again so think twice about what you really want out of this relationship and in time you will find out what he is really about

Answer 7

people say that once a cheater always a cheater but that's not true. there are some people who will cheat in the beginning of their relationship to make sur that they want to be with that person and not someone else. Snoop some more and see if you can find anything else out or spy on him. Give it another shot though. But don't keep takin him back if he keeps screwin up

Answer 8

GIVE HIM A CHANCE!
cz as u said, it was before committment.
u sould never worry about the past ,,,,think of the present...is he now cheating on u? lying to u?

maybe at the past he wasnt that much into u, thats why he kept doing that..
but now is now...

if he aint cheating nad he is clear to u..
trust him.. he is the one u love!! and dont keep thinking of wt has happened cz all wt u get is being hurt! and u would get bored of the relation...

just love him and have fun,,, thats why we have relations

Answer 9

As I have always felt on this subject.
The best way to find out just how much he loves you is to set him up.
When you are out. Fix it with a friend to give him their phone number. Have them approach it as if you know nothing about it, and that they are really interested. If he take it and goes on with the evening then you know hes not yours. He never was. And saying I LOVE YOU just comes easy.

Answer 10

hey maybe he just didnt wanna tell you coz he knew you'd be hurt, its been a year and the fact that u didnt find any recent emails means he is totally faithful to you. i can understand your hurt, but work things out. if you still daught him then let him go.

Good luck sweetheart