My brother is engaged to a woman that has caused a wall between him and the rest of our family. We were always close before. They are now engaged. She is older than him and previously divorced. I'm afraid if I just come out and tell him that they will cut off what little contact is left, with us.
2006-09-18 18:55:02 · 13 answers · asked by n_dymphna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes fiance. Sorry about the late night typo!
2006-09-18 19:11:28 · update #1
First you got to assure your brother how much he really loves her...then obviously since they were engaged, he has seen something in her.....dont be judgemental because of her past and because she is older....sometimes they are good in handling a relationship maybe because of their experience. Now you gotta make a choice and think about this....which one do you prefer your brother to spend the rest of his life with, an older, divorced woman who can love him unconditionally for life, serve him and bring out the men in him..the person he is, norture him, and give but only the best for your brother, or to a younger/ or of his age woman but there is an attitude problem, cheat on your brother, etc.....now what i'm trying to say is....sometimes we dont choose who we should love...it's fate....as to we cant choose who will be our parents. So for now, just wish them goodluck and try to give her a chance and prove her woth..ok.
2006-09-18 19:14:13 · answer #1 · answered by maic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say leave them alone for a while. Then before they get married, ask if u and him can go for lunch or something. Make it a you and him day.
Then you guys can have a real talk and discuss it calmly without any interference.
Just tell him what you feel. It doesnt sound like the fiance is doing anything wrong. They probably just want to be by themselves.
Tell him that it feels like he has broken contact not just with you, but with the rest of the family as well.
Encourage your parents to have more family gatherings where both of them could participate.
Maybe the women just feel estranged and doesnt want to come, coz she feels like an outsider and one of these days she will b family.
Try to get to know her and them together better. If you really care about your brother you would want him to be happy.
2006-09-19 02:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by chanD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm..tricky but i guess the best u could do is to bear with it a bit and try to find a common ground to connect with her. I am certain tht your brother saw some good qualities in her to be able to propose in the first place...However, if she is not a nice person (in short..a b****) n disrespectful of some sort then i thnk its her loss not to be able to be close to her future hubby's family, something tht she will regret one day. She shuld know (everyone knows tht) tht when u marry someone u marry his/her family as well. So she shuld know her ground and attempt something to break the wall between all of u.
However, i thnk tht u shuld try n give her a break a bit. She just came out frm a divorce n tht would somewhat make her hold a grudge or ill-feeling towards another man's family or smthng..i don't know. Its a thought anyhow.
But i thnk tht your family shouldn't hate her but try to maintain a polite and neutral relationship with the girl but at the same time salvage whatever closeness u hv with ur brother. Your brother's feelings matter the most and whatever u might do in the future, just keep him at the top of ur priority ya.
I hope it all goes well dearie ;)
2006-09-19 04:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd try English unless he doesn't speak it. Either you can swallow how you feel and try to learn to accept this woman who's become a central figure of your brother's life or you can confront him and possibly widen the divide between you both. If she really is all that bad odds are things won't last between them. If he never shares your opinion of her then he's really happy and you'd be kind of a jerk to try to take that from him. On the other hand if you open your mouth about how you feel he'll either take your side and allways feel that the Family took his fiance away from him or he'll cut you all off and if that happens he may not come back even if it turns out she's a cleverly disguised demon.
2006-09-19 02:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by W0LF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find times to spend with your brother when the fiance or your family are not around. Have lunch with him. Get him over to help you with things around the house. Tell him about your lovelife and your social life. Hopefully, this will give him time to open up. He may think there are good reasons for his change in attitude.
Good luck.
2006-09-19 01:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to mind your own business. If she is bad TO your brother that's different, but just because she's older and had been married before isn't anyone's concern and doesn't mean she can't be a loving wife for your brother.
2006-09-19 02:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by HowlnWoof 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you may not get what you expect if you do tell him. As you mentioned you are more than likely to cut off all communication instead of getting him to "see the light."
2006-09-19 01:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by HomSupLo75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask it how you asked above.
But make sure you respect his decision.
Love makes us blind - if there is a disaster with his relationship in the future - make sure he knows you are still around.
Blood is thicker than water.
2006-09-19 01:58:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him drink the cocktail to find out - don't be pessimistic life is strange and is difficult to help dam, blind people to not become their enemies.
2006-09-19 02:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean "Fiance" right? Finance deals with money..
2006-09-19 01:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋