brother? She was a little disappointed to find out that she is getting a brother and not a sister....and I am having this baby with my husband (which is her step-dad), so that always makes things a little more awkard...as opposed to having a baby with her biological Dad. To top it off, her biological Dad is expecting a son also, but 2 months after I am having mine. So it's kind of a different situation and wanted to hear some tips on making her feel just as much a part of the baby's birth and making sure she doesn't feel left out at all....thanks!
2006-09-18 18:47:33 · 9 answers · asked by tx proud 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm sure your doing all the right explanations.. when I brought my son home to my older step-daughter, very jealous, I had a friend carry the baby into the house so my arms were free to embrace her. Then there was a small package from the baby with a tag "to my big sister" and a note as if the baby wrote it. At least we got through the first day..Spend time when baby's sleeping or with Dad, with your daughter doing mother-daughter things, like doing her nails, making funny hair-dos-laughing..
2006-09-18 18:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Head to the library and see if they have any books you can read with her that can explain some of what she can expect. She is nine so she will understand some of what is going on around her, but she may begin to have feelings and emotions she doesn't know how to express. I would start encouraging her to talk about anything now. Let her ask any questions she may have. Let her feel the baby move inside you. If you have one of those kits that lets you play music or listen to the baby's heartbeat (Bebe Sounds, I think), I would let her listen (If you don't have one of those, let her go to one of your check-ups and hear the hearbeat at the doctor's office). If you have already named him, let her talk to your belly. All the little milestones you enjoy, let her experience them too. This may help her form a bond before the baby arrives. One thing I think has helped my little boy adapt to change is that we have always been honest with him about everything. I never lie to him or try to trick him. I didn't give false names to things. I wouldn't try to sugar coat things or tell her everything will be fabulous and that the new baby won't change her life. I would be honest about the changes and how you are probably going to need her help sometimes. You mentioned it being akward because this is her step-father. I don't think the fact that this is a half sibling should make any difference. . It will still be her brother. It is usually only a problem if the adults make it a problem. If there is a huge separation by the fact that your husband is her step-father, than there may be problem if she thinks you guys are giving the baby preferential attention and she will have that problem in both households. It comes down to being compassionate and considerate of each other's feelings and letting her know that even though there are changes happening, she will always have your love and support.
2006-09-18 19:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by jigsawinc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation - but my son was 6. ( and his dad didn't have more kids till son was 10).
I actually had him pick out the baby's going home outfit and a toy, and picked out a few thing for him "from the baby", talked about them - made sure he got little things as well as the baby....my parents were great with still making him feel special.
I'd also have my husband take care of the baby while I helped with homework or did bed time routine stuff...
2006-09-18 19:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing that she needs is a little boy baby doll. One that is as like a new baby as possible, with a bottle and diapers, so that she can feed and change her baby when you change her brother.
I already had my boys' names picked out but I have a cousin that let her son help to pick out the name of his new sister. At first he wanted to name her Princess but once it was explained that it wouldn't be a very good name, he picked Abbie, and so her name is Abigail.
Anyway, once you pick out the name, talk about the baby like he is already there, because, in a sense, he is. Maybe she could practice her reading, by reading to the baby in your tummy. I also talked about how important being a big sister is and how she can teach the baby to do all sorts of things.
You could also tell her what is developing in the baby month by month and show her pictures of what he would look like, if she could see him. Let her feel his movements in your tummy, my kids loved that!
My youngest brother is 10 years younger than me. He came home from the hospital on December 24, and he was the best Christmas present that I ever got!
2006-09-18 19:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by Barefoot Chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her go to your doctor visits , let her help pick out names, let her help get the nursery ready , and make sure you tell her that she is a big sister but she will always be your baby. I have a four year old an a 1 year old. My son went to doctor visits with his dad and I. We let him help pick the theme for her nursery. He felt so involved when his little sister was born he just kept kissing her. He even told her big brother picked out that hat for you.
2006-09-18 22:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by pinkkidsclubbing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her involved with some responsibilities in baby-sitting her little brother, because it's hers also.
Tell her she's your only daughter, and the baby is your only son. And you need a daughter as much as you need a son. No comparisons needed, because they are each other's only sibling in the family. Therefore, must value each other more.
2006-09-18 21:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Involve her as much as you can in the buying of things and decorating and after the child arrives involve her in assisting you with retrieving diapers etc. But most importantly she needs to know that because this child is with your knew husband or because you are having another child that you will love her just the same and make sure to take time to do things with her after the baby's arrival just you and her.
2006-09-18 18:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by rltouhe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee that's a dosie that one is really hard on you, on her ,on your new husband , on the new arrival of her baby brother, and hard on me too ,sorry I just beleive you should just let things fall in to their natural order, children are so resilient .It amazes me most of the time, they do have a way of sorting things out ,on their own . And yet we worry so much for them. Lots of luck to you and family ,may your birthing be swift , may your family grow in unity and most of all . Tickle ,Tickle to the new man on the way .
2006-09-18 19:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by lytesdelite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a pet rat so she can have her own "baby". This will make her feel important and rats make great pets.
2006-09-18 18:58:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋