What's the best way to get over a 2 year relationship? My boyfriend just broke up with me 1 1/2 weeks ago.

Question

He said that he wants his space and that he's no longer boyfriend material. What's the best way for me to get over this? PS- he has been telling my friends and his family that he was going to propose for 4 months.

Answer 1

Go out with your friends and have a good time. Laughter is the best medicine

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

It sounds like he really was not ready to commit - maybe he was immature, maybe he realized an engagement was too much of a commitment for him to make. It's not clear why, but the reality is that he is not going to be there.

Remember the good times you had with him. Take those memories with you and don't dwell on the negatives (unless you recognize some real mistakes or red flags that you need to watch out for.)

Don't worry about getting into a rebound relationship anytime soon. This change of circumstances can be viewed as an opportunity to make unencumbered changes in your life. Travel, meet new friends, tackle a project you always wanted to, learn a new skill, go back to school, volunteer, get into new sports, start an exercise routine -- there are thousands of things you can do now without having to consult with your BF.

Surround yourself with friends, and don't dwell on the past. Live for today - do something interesting each day, and look forward.

You will find some other guy(s) to hang out in due time.

Just accept that these things happen, every day. Sometimes they can be explained, sometimes they can't. Don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out 'why.'

Remember, each of us is given only one time on this Earth - so go make the best, and the most of every minute you have.

And smile - it's contagious. You probably have a beautiful smile just waiting to be shared with others.

Answer 4

I am in the same position.Him wanting space is a way of controlling you.Write a deep letter to him saying all the nasty ways he treated you and all his faults.DO NOT SEND IT.As the days pass you will add to it (Im on page 9)I read it every day and have laughed ,cried and even got friends and family to add there comments.If he says his not boyfriend material-how sad for his future.Mine said `hes not the man for me`Oh bless him.At night times when I can`t sleep i email the samaritians.Telling your family he was going to propose is his way of wanting everyone to think of him as such a romantic ,kind ,loving man.We know the truth-he is selfish,controlling your emotions and not worthy of you.Give youeself a date to stop the mourning-mine is on the 30th september and then i will burn the letter (probably 369 pages long by then) and am going to cry my heart out in that time,but after that day he is in my past..I have cried and felt emotions I thought I did not have.Each day I get stronger because I am avoiding all contact with him.

Answer 5

The best way to get over any breakup is to STOP ANALYZING IT! He broke up with you, it's over. Keep yourself busy. Re-learn yourself. Learn to love yourself. Ask yourself what YOU really want. When you're out of a relationship it's no more "What are WE doing tonight" or "what do YOU want to do" - you can ask yourself "What am I going to eat" or "What movie do I want to watch". When you rediscover who you are after this emotional time, you'll be more confident and more clear on what you want in the future. Each break up is one jump towards you finding the person that you'll be MOST compatiable with; if you allow yourself to sit around in the house more than a week to wallow and cry and feel sorry for yourself, you'll miss out on the opportunity. Why do scabs heal? Because you quit picking them long enough for new skin to grow, right? Right.

So do your heart a favor. Mourn the loss of the relationship for a few days, and then move on. There are PLENTY of other folks out there - trust me!!

OOOOXOXoXoxoXOOOO

Answer 6

Hmmmm don't know what would be the best way to get over that after dating for so long. I would want to know why after telling so many ppl that he wanted to marry you why would he change his mind like that. You knowing what went wrong would help start to get over him...if you have feelings still for him...like I am sure that you do....it will take a while longer....just take it slow...find a rebound guy to rock your world to speak and take it day by day...

Answer 7

You can believe he has met someone else. The best way to get over it is to start dating again (that's the only sure cure) he has moved on and you need to get on with your life since he is no longer interested.

Good Luck

Answer 8

go out and do you. get some chocolate and eat and then take a nice bubble bath. listen to soft music. get a pedicure and manicure. start looking your best. get a new dress. show that you are not gonna let this pull you down. u are strong and beautiful cuz God made you like that. you will find someone. do not feel sorry for you. feel sorry for him. cuz you are worth every cent on earth.

Answer 9

well for starters cry....
I would leave him be if he needs his space let him have it,
he might be over whelmed by the fact that he was willing to spend the rest of his life with you and that may have freaked him out (it happened with my sister and her bf). let him calm himself down and if he wants to talk listen. if there's no talking then cry some more remember all the good times (even though it may hurt).

Answer 10

I read your posting, and am sorry you have veen rehected. Actaul;ly the guy is reguecting himself and is immiture, certainly not marriage materail despite what he told others.

I can honestly say that many men play games like crazy, lie, cheat, etc. Some never change. Many eventually start to consider marriage, if for no other reason than they see themselves losing hair, developing gray and wrinkles, getting fired, feeling unsatisfied at work, etc.

Make something of yourself and not to rely on a man to bring hapiness. Then the right man will show up. The divorce rate is over 50 percent failure in the USA for first time marriages, over seventy percent failure rate for second time marriages. Be grateful you know this now.

read Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends, by B. Fisher.

Uou must become extremely successful in your career and interests.

It is only when your career and interrests are in full swing and you are really making a greater success of yourself that the right people show up. Bars bring on alcoholic irresponsible jerks. Clubs too. A great dancer and the right lines do not mean love and successful marriages. Do not mix up great sex with love either. They are two distinct and separate entities. Sex is to reproduce the species only. It is not love. Love is something else. Sex can improve with real love and intimacy. If you are in lust, it is not love. If someone is bad to you, you do not want sex with them unless you are delusional and are using them too, or if you mistakingly think that a great orgasm will make the men stay or change. If you find yourself thinking about a man 100 percent of the time or close to it, he is NOT good for you. You will lose yourself in him. If you are a giver to the men you lust, then learn to be less available and more equality demanding. You have the right to be treated well and decently. That does not mean lavishly. It means honestly with respect. And it goes both ways.

If you are the type who takes crap from a man, stop taking crap early on, and you will avoid lots of pain.

II think your choices of men are not good, that's all.

Do you go for glitz and the great dressers? Stop. Are you a caretaker type who rescues men? Stop that now. If you are a perfectionist who emotionally picks on a man, stop it now. If you always criticize a man for small things and he leaves you, stop it now. I know no specifics about your situation, but do know it takes two to tango.

Forget the multitude of books. They will mostly confuse you except the e short Robert Johnson trio of books: He, She and We.

I have learned about boundaries. I have the feeling you know nothing about them. This is great to learn. There is a great book on the subject called Boundaries. It is a thick non-religious book on the subject, a soft cover, /Ph DO written. Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No is another great book.

I personally have done numerous workshops, read lots of self help books, been in therapy, etc. I have doneThe Forum/// I think therapy was the biggest waste of time. Reading great self-help books like Your Erroneous Zones is therapy, because we learn about our own weaknesses and learn self improvement. I have learned it is not what we do but rather, who we do it with. Stay away from destructive people, and that might sometimes mean family.

You must find an evolved man, one who can set boundaries with his family members and even can speak honestly of his shortcomings and how he is working on them. Also remember: Never believe what people say: Only judge people on their actions and deeds. Loo at yourslef first and improve who you are. If a man says he loves you and cheats, he does not love you. If a man never says he loves you but treats you well, he loves you. It is all about actions. YOU want a man who can walk equally with you and you with him, one who asks for advice, one who doesn't bottle up anger, and that goes both ways. Also, if you are selfish and materialistic, cut that out. No one wants a gold digger. Make something of yourself to get your own cash.

Also remember: no one is perfect.