Im 14 and i know for sure im gay help?

Question

I think im in love with my best frined and i think he may be gay to... i dont at gay at all infact i have a girlfriend and i play football i hate bein gay infact i wish i were dead if peopel found out about me i would kill myslef i think god hates me and my parents hate gay people so there gonan hate me my best firned gave me a hug and my mom yelled at him and said that 2 boys rent aloud to hug shes very religioes and i am too btu i hat ebeing gay i wish i could be straight. its liek a living hell i just need help anything to help me i cant join a group or anything i came here for last resort. i cant tell my mom and if anyoen knows any "magic solution" please tell me

Answer 1

you are not born gay..

being gay is a choice. usually because you were part of an abuse or sexually molested when you were younger. dysfunctional family would cause this too. those experiences messed up your head.

don't allow yourself to think that way. seek jesus christ.. strong faith in him would save you.


24/Los Angeles
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."

Answer 2

At 14 you don't know anything for sure.... Not to be mean! I think sometimes we have such a fear of something like being gay that we kind of self impose our worst fears! You need to (easier said than done) really think about things and not as a fear, but as an assessment of who you are! Sexuality does not define you! I was raised and am christian, but i certainly believe that the pressure and self loathing that you feel is much more damning than what you may be or think you are! I hope the best for you and that all works out! But youre doing more harm to yourself by hating who you are than to try to figure out who you really are? Maybe there is something about youre Friend that you desire not because he is another guy, but someway he makes you feel? If you found those qualities in a girl would you be attracted? I feel being gay is a sexual preference! You can love someone and not want to be involved sexually and at 14 I hope youre not either way! I wish you well youre age is hard enough than to add something like this...

Answer 3

Jake, you are taking in all the crap you are hearing that is negative and projecting it onto your whole life. You will mature emotionally and your sexual orientation will become clearer and you will be comfortable with who you are and all your fears will fade away. It is very normal for a 14 year old boy to panic and "hate" that he has to deal with relationships in a more complicated way because teenagers, all of whom are unsure about themselves simply because all boys generally have their first sexual experience with their buddy or in a group of guys. So all pre-teens but especially teen boys are defensive and they worry and to get some relief, they yell all those silly anti-gay words and phrases without knowing anything about adult or older teen sex.
Look, you may be gay or you may find out when you are 17, 18 or whatever that a girl you met is, like, WOW! Guys have a surprising amount of sex with other guys when they are kids and pre-teens and in early teens and the vast majority are not gay. Some are. That's the way it is. We cannot change who we are and we certainly don't want to. You are going to be an important person in career, family and friends and co-workers. You just can't see how it all plays out. Hang in there are in a year, two or three you will remember what I have told you and you will say to yourself, "That guy was right. Cool."

Answer 4

Please go to some of the sites listed under "gay teen help". There are some good people out there who can answer your questions better than people here will. And you can follow up with them.
Every teen ager has questions about sexuality. Too often there are not adults around they want to ask. The web is a good place to start because it's confidential. I hope from here you can find an adult who will talk with you without being judgemental.
Good luck. Remember that God is always looking out for you.

Answer 5

Dude, u r still so young. Never say stuff like "I'll kill myself" or so on. I know it might not seem this way but live is really really wonderful and in time u will realise that. Before i try and answer Ur question I want u to remember, if u feel like doing something to yourself rather go and talk to someone, there is lots of helplines and Internet sites that can and will help u. Being gay isn't easy and admitting it to yourself is definitely the hardest part, but like I said earlier u are still young and admitting Ur sexuality to yourself becomes easier as u get older. To most parents the news of a gay son isn't easy, spesialy if they are realy religious. But would anyone in their right mind choose to be gay?? Sexuality aren't a choise, just as much as u can not choose to be gay u can't choose to be str8 if u are gay. But at this stage its better for ur parents not to know. In fact there is no reason to worry about telling ur parents at all if u don't whant to, it's purely a choise u can make and u don't have to make it now. Give urself time. Time to get use to the idea and time to make sure of what u realy feel. There is no use in rushing these sort of things.

Furthermore there is somthing I would like to tell u bout being gay. Being gay doesn't mean that u have to e a raving queen and start waring thight shirts and make up. Being gay simpily means that u love another man. THATS ALL. U don't have to comply to funny steriotypes or love pink. So keep on playing football and doing the things u like, and if ur best friend is gay u can help eash other through this hard time (not meaning u have to be in a relationship). But u would probibaly have to brake up whit ur gf. It's not fare to her.

I realy whish u the best of luck with this as I know how hard it is. (and u can feel free to follow my advise I am 18 and just came out to my parents about a month ago so I kn ow how hard it is and I have also experienst the inner struggle aswell as the hardships of exeptans.) If u need to talk feel free to e-mail me any time.

Answer 6

the first thing you should do since you say you are religious is pray to God and ask him to take these feelings from you. I believe in the power of prayer and if you ask he will take these feelings of attraction to the same sex away. You don't sound like you are gay. Just because you have feelings for your bestfriend who happens to be a guy doesn't make you gay. Being gay is a life style that we choose. We are not born with it and God didn't make us that way nor does he approve of it. You can over come it even though society tries to tell you different and you should not listen to it. Just remember you are only 14 and you are courious. You are still learning about your sexuallity. I would like you to go to this website and pose the same question. Give them your e-mail and they can help you. family.org or you can call for counseling the number is 1-800-a family (1-800-232-6459) hope that I was of help and let me know what happens. My e-mail is [e-mail]. Please let me know. I would like to know that I helped. I will keep you in my prayers

Answer 7

Hi... there's no magic solution, i'm afraid.
But maybe time will get things all right. My best friend is gay and from a very religious family, he used to have a lot of bad time at your age, but now he is far from home, amd he had a boyfriend. Still, he hates being gay, and tell nobody, (I know it by chance, he was upset when he discover that I knew). He dispises himself so much that he broke up with his boyfriend, and choose to never fall in love again. And that's pretty bad you know.
You must ask yourself some questions, you said you have a girlfriend, do you love her?
I think you have time, you're 14, and you must think hard about yourself.
You must try to accept yourself like you are, and be ready for love when it will knock at your door. For your family, you don't have to tell them now, when you are far from home, you will have more freedom. And maybe you will never tell them.
I wish you a lot of courage, try to be happy come what may!

Answer 8

well you have to decide for yourself what makes you happy if you know that your gay for a fact and that you want to be more than friends with your best friend and you think that he to is gay then you need to work on your relationships,first you need to dump your girlfriend for her sake why drag her feelings for you any further let her out now.then spend extra time sorting out your feelings on your own or with your best friend that's what friends are for to help you through rough times,and you never know how he might feel about you he could be gay and even be in love with you too. maybe he wants more and has been afraid to tell you because of the girlfriend. as far as your parents go i wouldn't bring this up at Sunday dinner or anything until you know for sure yourself,but remember these are your parents though you may not make them happy they will always love you and one day they will eventually accept you for who you are and no one is ever proud to be gay and though you hate the fact,that doesn't mean you chose to be this way and being ashamed doesn't solve anything.take time before you tell everyone that your gay to figure out what your feeling.your parents will come around.

Answer 9

First of all, a great deal of study has taught us that gender identification is not a choice. It is most likely brain chemistry.

Studies have been conducted on sets of twins who had different gender identity, Younger than you.

60 minutes (I think) did a piece on this.


Two identical twins, one twins bedroom was all GI joes and cammo, while the other twins bedroom was full of stuffed animals, and he even painted his fingernails.

These kids had educated enlightened parents that are letting their sons grow up in the way that is most natural to them.

First thing you do, is use internet searches to find out all you can about gender identification. You have NO REASON TO FEEL BAD ABOUT WHO YOU ARE.

You were born that way.

Knowledge is power. There are groups and organizations out there that can help. Use searches to find them. You could start by asking this question again at WebMd.com

Don't give anyone personal information and if a web site strikes you as "off" in any way leave immediately and clear cookies from your computer.

Surf safe, and get the information, its There. Doctors, Hospital Reasearch.

Stay strong.

Answer 10

Okay...this is common but there is no real way to handle it with out coming out with a scratched pride and battered heart. There is no such thing as suppressing your unconcious feelings. Even though you don't want to be gay this is really who you are at the end of everyday of your life. Try finding out who you really are, become happy with you and then ease into the more complicated feelings you have. But do it before it somehow gets worse, and try not to worry about other people and their opinions-even your parents. REMEMBER-ONLY GOD CAN/WILL JUDGE YOU.

Answer 11

Jake, I'm sorry you're having a tough time with this. DO NOT kill yourself. There is so much more to you than your sexual preference, don't destroy that because you're not used to how to handle this. Can you talk to your family doctor privately (they have to respect secrets) and get some support? Being attracted to the same sex doesn't mean you're worthless. You just have a tough challenge that many of us don't.

Don't tell people if you're not ready, but don't lie about it either. My ex husband was gay. He married me (I'm a woman) because he didn't want to be alone, but he never warned me. So it was never good for either of us, although we struggled 20 years before we divorced and I never knew why we couldn';t be closer. He just didn't want a woman that much, but I never knew that.