I found my bestfriend from high school, and we could have been married by now but i move very far away, we talk in the phone for years and then life happend and we stop talking, we never dated in high school because I didn't like him like that, or so I though at the moment, anyways, I found him and now he is married, but every time we talk he sais he wants to be with me and once he finishes school he want to move where I am. I don't want to break up a marrige, they have a baby, and I am not like that, but he is the love of my life, and it sounds selfish but I do want him to come and be with me. I am so confused. Should I presue this? should I give up and tell him to stay?. Is he been honest with me? should I believe him?..... I don't want to stop leaving my life all I do is think about this and is making me sick, Please help. what should I do?
2006-09-18 17:34:17 · 28 answers · asked by jayden 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave them alone..
24/Los Angeles
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."
2006-09-18 17:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by Guy w/ Answers 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Please don't do it.Dont break up a marriage.People get married to live happily and peacefully,both the man and also the women.No one wants their marriage to become a failure. If they want divorce or separation they wouldnt have got married in the first place. If their break up/divorce happens bcoz of their own decision to do it, then its ok but u PLEASE dont break them up.They may be happy now or may not be but u have NO rights to do it.If u get involve seriously with that man(get very close) by talking too much or spending too much time with him u will definitely make him like u more and he may not like his wife anylonger.U r making him very confused and causing a problem in his life ,so its better if u keep ur limits,Just talk once in a while is ok but don't talk or do anything wrong that can lead to their breakup.Imagine urself in her shoes! would u like another woman snatch ur beloved husband one day??? Dont do smthng u dont like others do to u !!Find someone else ,there are many more good man out there.Get to know more people n u will definitely find someone,then u can forget this man.I m very sure of it.I m not a married girl but i can imagine how a lady will feel when her husband goes to another woman.Have pity on others and GOD will pity u.Pray well n He will show u a way n solve ur problems whatever they r..ok
2006-09-18 17:52:58 · answer #2 · answered by kuti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! No! No! Stop now! Tell him you will have no more contact with him! You know this is the only right and decent thing to do. He is married. And he has a child with his wife. I don't know if he's being honest with you. It really isn't the point. The point is HE IS MARRIED!!!! Therefore, he is off limits!!!!! Tell him you're done. Then don't take any more phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. from him!!! Go ahead and cry all you want to. You will get over him. And any many who will cheat on his wife isn't worth being with. As the old saying goes, Once a cheater, always a cheater!
2006-09-18 18:06:31 · answer #3 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation, and trust me it is not good at all. I think you should move on. Do you really want to get involved with his past? You will be taking the father from the baby. Do you think that is worth it? And do you really think he will leave his baby behind? He could be lying to you. All I know is nothing good could come out between you to. Meet another guy who is available and will make time for you. This whole situation is depressing. And it also sounds like you have no self esteem at all. Why are you talking to a married man? I am sorry but you need to move on. And trust me it hurts to move on but in the end you will feel better. I've moved on and I went through a lot but I feel better knowing that I made a better choice.
2006-09-18 17:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by biochick11220 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Please except this advice. I have been there, done that, and got my T-shirt. If i had listened when someone gave me their advice, i wouldn't have went thru what i did. NO MATTER what he says, don't continue to communicate, at all with him. I know that is going to be very difficult. You cannot even continue a friendship. Tell him that when he has decided what he really wants in his life, and has legally seperated from his wife, that you would love to hear from him. Until then, you do not want to see him or hear from him, but you will be there for him if the time comes that he decides he cannot live life without you. Get on with your life!!!!!! HE will just get on with his....and stay with his wife unless he gets caught with someone else, then he will show up at your place. At which time i hope your smart enough to tell him to "hit the road jack, and don't come back".
2006-09-18 17:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by Chella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not beleive in any man that jumps from one relatioship to another , I think that it should be a space between each one and if he is not happy with her, why he never left her , now that he sees you he wants you to beleive in him, look if a little baby does not hold him back, how you would beleive you would....just ignore him and if he really feels love for you he would do all those things and then when he fix his life maybe he could have a chance to look for you but this can not happen from one day to the other, remember that after he left her , guiltyness feelings will come by and he will be with you and thinking about them , he will come with the excuse that he misses the baby and from one day to the other he will go back and it will be you alone with a broken heart
2006-09-18 17:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by Yami 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can respect that old flames can sometimes open old wounds and rekindle old feelings. Having said that, you need to leave this guy alone. He is married and you do not want to be the other woman. You also don't want to be a homewrecker. He needs to be a good husband to his current wife and father to their child.
The best way to get over him is start seeing and dating other men. Available men as in not in a relationship or in a marriage. Life is too short to be the tryst on the side. One needs to make a relationship work or get out of it before involving other people in their lives.
2006-09-18 17:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by davester1970 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay away from him and do not return his calls. He is cheating on her. It is very possible he thinks the grass will be greener on the other side. When his child gets older he may try and go back to his wife. I feel you are in a no win situation. It would be hard for me to trust him if he cheated on her he would probably cheat on me. This is the way I look at things. If he does leave his wife he is being cruel to her. Do you really want someone like that?
2006-09-18 17:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he did leave his wife and came to live with you, won't you always have in the back of your mind that he may do the same to you? Obviously he married this woman and had a baby with her for a reason. And I'm sorry that you think this is the love of your life, but he probably isn't. I know it feels that way... but meet some other guys. If you can't get him out of your mind, just be prepared for the consequences. do you want to be the reason for a broken home and your step child some day hating you for that? dont mean to be a downer.. just think lady... just think. be strong
2006-09-18 17:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty..you need to back off from this man. Married men make promises about leaving their wives for you or the next female and never do. Why put your heart out on the line like that? Even if he does leave his family for you what leads you to believe he won't give the same lines he fed you to the next female? There are too many men out there for you to persue...as for ol boy...He needs the BOOT.
2006-09-18 17:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by Rianna - Re 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't even know this guy well and you are thinking of encouraging him to break up with his family?
Other than having conversations with him, what do you know about him? You are already considering him to be the love of your life? Are you serious?
He's definitely not the right guy for you because of his deception to his wife. He's still in school, and yet he's already talking about abandoning his wife and child to be with you? And you believe he loves you? I am puzzled by your logic, if there's any!
Don't be foolish. You will be falling into his trap and will be the next one to be abandoned, when he's located another victim.
So, wake up and come down to earth!
2006-09-18 17:54:59 · answer #11 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋