How to get child to HURRY up with homework?!?!?

Question

My son is in the 5th grade. He is ADHD, and is taking meds. It takes him from the time he walks in the door until I just give up and make him go to bed around 9:30/10pm...I know he CAN do it quickly...he has proven that every wed. for church...if homework is not done you can't go...never fails on a wed night home is hassle free. When asked "what would you LOVE to do when you come home from school?" he says "go outside" I say if you hurry up, you can...does that help...NOOOO! It's not like I can sit beside him all day..I have a 7 yr and a 4month old..and I have DINNER to cook...tonight was the limit...I have to do something. He came home having to COPY his spelling words, vocabulary words, a math sheet and had to read a small reading story and read his AR book which is an 80 SMALL page book...Just on the written work it took him from 3:30-7pm to complete...I have him right there where I can see him..having to watch him, tell him eyes on paper, leave that alone, finish ur homework

I can remember when I was a child, my mother made us do our homework...no matter how long it took us, we sat there and DID it..yes I check it, yes I help him when he doesn't understand..but its getting him to DO it for me to check it...but then I have other people telling me, to time limit him on each subject and if he has not completed it by that time, that I need to put it away and let him suffer that at school...I was confused by this so I went to the school counsler and she told me that I WAS doing the RIGHT thing..that if I show him that homework is important...than he will think so too...but if I show him that he only has so many minutes on each subject then I am showing him that it is time framed and not important that he FINISHES it. ok..I see that the RIGHT thing, I think would be to MAKE him finish no matter what time he takes...but do you have tips on getting them to DO it before midnight? tips on getting him motivated in hurrying up, so he can play, spend time with family?

as far as the tv and personal things go..it would not do any good taking them away...when he never makes it to his room but to SLEEP..he literly wakes up at 6:30 am to get on the bus by 7am, he comes home at 3:30pm and sits at the kitchen table doing homework. I let him up after ALL written homework is done to let him EAT and then he goes back to the table and reads the reading stories that was for homework. After he is done, he goes to take a bath and go straight to bed...he doesn't ever get to play in his room, watch tv or spend time with us unless it is a weekend...once a blue moon he will finish homework and has the chance to go do what he wants to do...but thats only because he lucked up on not having homework....

Answer 1

My best friend has twin boys that have ADHD among along list of other things . They are on meds. too . The trick is finding a way to keep them focused . They are very smart . They can answer problems that might take me a little longer to solve if they are focused and I'm 26 . My friend has a lot of trouble getting them to do homework but they like to do crafts . So if they get there homework done quickly they get to do a small craft . They got a book at there book fair at school that has a lot of crafts . Maybe your son has something he is interested in that can be an incentive to get him motivated . They also like football so she signed them up for football . And if they don't get there home work done they don't go to practice or a game . You would have to talk to a coach and work something out . So that you could do things this way . I hope this might helps . Good Luck !

Answer 2

I have the same problem with my 7th grade son, who also has ADHD & takes no meds for it. I do put a time limit on it. I look over what he has to do when we first get home & ask him to estimate how long he thinks it will take. I make him sit at the kitchen table for that length of time while I'm fixing dinner or doing work on the computer or whatever else I have to do. I check with him periodically to see how much he's accomplished & I do watch him to make sure he stays focused instead of looking out the window, messing with his brother, etc. After the amount of time that he's estimated, I make him get up from the table. It's usually time for dinner anyway, but if it's not, he can read a book, but no electronics allowed (tv, computer, game console). We have dinner, go to scouts or church or whatever we have to do until about 8:30 - if we don't have anything to do that night, he can continue to read or he can sit with me in the living room. Then he sits back down to finish his homework. Amazingly, he's able to finish it by 9:30 so he can go to bed. I don't know why this works, but it does. It keeps me from being so frustrated & it gives him the "work under pressure" feeling that children with ADHD seem to feed off of. He does get some of his work completed during the first session of homework so that reduces the amount that he has to do in the second session. And he's never gone to bed without finishing his homework.

On a side note, it did take him 15 minutes on Monday night to write his name on his Science homework & put the number '1' on his paper. That was 15 minutes of the estimated 40 minutes that he thought the assignment would require.

Answer 3

He has ADHD, and inherent in that is an inability to attend to task, and difficulty staying in the same place for long periods. As torturous as this situation is for you, the requirement that he spend four hours on such things has got to be excruciating for him as well. Try breaking it up into smaller bits, and give him something physical to do in between each section. Remember he needs to be able to walk in the door and feel relief that he is home too, just like we do. Also, consider doing a section in the morning after breakfast. That might also help. But the more diligent you are, the more demanding you get, it is likely the more resistant he will become and the more you both will dread this. Also meet with his teachers and see if there is a before or after school time that he can do homework at school. Many schools offer this and it might be just the thing he needs.

Answer 4

I am having the same problem with my stepson. He just started the sixth grade but last year he did this also. He hates school and its tough on me. His dad works evenings and I'm dealing with it and sometimes I feel like I want to lock myself in the bathroom and scream. he has a 14 year old sister and a 6 year old in kindergarten. The 14 year old gets home before the other ones and she automatically does her homework so she can get on the comp or talk to her friends on the phone. Most of the time the little one doesn't have much homework and she's easy but he comes home and I sit him at the table and It starts the whining and he even starts hitting his head against the kitchen wall. he'll break 5 pencils before he is done so I keep an endless supply of pencils. it takes him 30 min to write one sentence. i try to explain to him if he just does it then he can go play but he wont. i also have to cook and watch the other ones. I have tried everything. Grounding him from TV and video games. Everyday is a battle. Good Luck

Answer 5

I make my son do his homework as soon as he gets home. He rides the bus, so sometimes he does it on the bus. SO, when he gets home he can play outside. I think it's good these kids want to play outside these days! My son does his math and spelling and I usually, save the reading for right before bed. He even reads in his bed. This is so calming for him and he has seen me do it a lot. It sounds like you have ur hands full. Maybe there is a older neighbor child that could come and help ur son a few times a week. I would email his teacher and see if she has any idea's. I can't believe the amount of homework these kids have these days. Good luck!

Answer 6

BOOKS MY FRIEND, BOOKS!

I'm serious. Figure out what he likes to do, hobbies etc.... and find some books that involve this hobby. Lighthearted adventure fiction always works wonders.
This is the way people USED TO deal with ADHD before all the crazy drugs came about. The docs would have you believe that medication is the only way to solve your 'defective' child's problem but it's not. In fact ADHAD/ADD children are very smart and THAT is the reason why they find things un-interesting. Remember they grow up in a MUCH faster world than you and I grew up in. Sure meds. have their place, but it's like eating only junk food when you know your body really needs a lot more to be truly full-filled.

The homework...you're the parent and you set BOUNDARIES.
No homework? NO outside. No approval from mommy. No 'special' Christmas presents. Really, it's not that hard. You just have to know what your child thrives on and reward him with IT when he gets his tasks accomplished. This is something that must be taught to every child in order for them to be competitive/successful in our society.
And do NOT limit him on one subject. If one takes longer, it just means he needs more help there. Not for you to quit just because you need to teach him a lesson or whatever. This is bad because children are very smart today, he will catch on that if he stalls long enough he will not have to put any more effort in to it. In fact I would suggest pushing a certain topic until he gets it right. If you do this consistently he will understand that the way to accomplish his goals is to earn his parents approval, which in turn would have it's rewards.


....Okay so your last edit just sounds like you don't WANT your son to have so much homework. Really your whole story could have been portrayed better, so as to not make peoples give you bad/wrong advice. I suggest you either A. continue with your current situation..or B. Home school your child.

EDIT:(to accommodate your ambiguity)Of course the way YOU make it sound is he's just a BURDEN to be dealt with(I HOPE YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN UP!!!!!) and it's a no win situation. Too bad for you, and most of all too bad for the kid to have such a LACKADAISICAL parent.

Answer 7

I would say speak to your sons principal and school counselor together and come up with some extra day time at school to do more of the homework,take 10 min off of the end of each recess maybe and have his teacher help him?
maybe try rewards?if you do this page in so many minutes(u set the time) and getsay 4 of 5 right or however many u think he can get right realistically then you win a treat out of the box,fill it with dollar store cars or a small candy or whatever he likes that would"bribe" him to be faster? yea most people disagree with bribes but some children require more,plus you have other children and a life to live..as do most of us moms!
you sound concerned and dont want to be too hard on him,maybe tell him you will spend some time with him one on one if he gets done by a set time and done right! do something he loves with him?anything you can use 4 incentive!!
I would speak to the principal,counselor and his teacher/s though and see what help they can offer,it is their job to help the children!
also you might try a homework area,where there are no windows,no distractions,no FUN! LOL
if he can see outside or hear other kids then he may not do the work?
good luck!

Answer 8

Perhaps your son is doing his work slowly so you will pay attention to him. I know your time is stretched thin with 3 kids, so please do not take this comment as an insult, but he may be acting out purely for the attention. My solution would be for you to leave him alone in a room with nothing but his homework -- no tv, no extra books, no video games. Tell him you will see him and spend time with him when he finishes. If there is something he doesn't understand, tell him to put that work to the side and you will help him with it when he finishes all of his other work. Do not check on him, give him a break for dinner, and then back to his work he goes -- ALONE. Once he realizes he gets no attention for not doing his homework and he gets good positive attention when you praise him for a job well done, his habits may start to change.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Make his homework HIS responsibility, either he finishes it or he doesn't. The consequences of not finishing will be that he will more than likely fail...you have to decide if there will be futher consquences but I found that the failing was the one that counted the most...my daughter failed highschool...turned around, got her GED and now has a 4.0 grade point average in college...because we made her homework HER responsibility, not ours. There was no yelling, no screaming no "hurry up and finish", at 9:00pm books were put away and if she was done great if not...too bad. While she wasn't saddled with ADHD failing was a great learning tool...can't get any higher than a consistent 4.0, she's set to graduate next May with her two year degree and has been accepted to UCLA, CSUS, NYU and Berkely...she just has to figure out where it is she plans on going now.

Answer 10

Maybe you should give him 1 hour of play after school. This way he can get out some of the energy he built up all day. I am an adult. I go to school full time. I can not focus on my homework right when I get home. I have to put my mind to something else after sitting in a class for 3 hours. Now imagine your son who has to sit there for around a 7 hour period of his day.
Also you wouldn't want to come home to have to sit at your desk you sat at when you were at work. You yourself I am sure would want to clear your mind.
Give your son an hour to play and free his mind. Then a require him to come inside and do his homework.