Accepting gifts of food that you don't like?

Question

A woman I work with is constantly receiving gifts of food from ladies in the office; she is our supervisor. The food is from women of a different culture; we are American. They bring her large containers, enough to share with her family. She accepts the food graciously, but, she doesn't really like most of their foods. In the office she will whisper to me that it is awful. She told me (more than once) that she takes it home and throws it in the garbage. She even goes so far as to tell them it was delicious and ask for the recipe!
Last week, because I'd had enough of listening to this, I suggested that she just tell them. I said that these women would not be offended if you graciously thanked them for being so thoughtful,but tell them that she did not care for that particular dish.
She said it would be rude to say that she did not like the food, and that she will continue to accept it, and throw it away! I was appalled, but I did not say any thing more. What is your opinion?

Answer 1

Since this is under the etiquette category, we will go with that side of the question. The RUDE thing she is doing is whispering to you that the food is awful. The women who work for her may be spending money they can ill afford to make her this food; maybe as a sign of affection and respect. The least she could do is NOT let anyone else know how she feels about it. Throwing it away seems awful, but then, we wouldn't have her feed her family something she does not like. Your supervisor should just have kept her mouth shut from the beginning. Asking for the recipe if appalling. That is going way too far.

Answer 2

I think she sounds like a very thoughtful caring lady.
We should all be so lucky as to work under someone like her.
Atleast you know, she will never hurt your feelings.

I would do the same thing as she is doing. Why hurt someone's feelings when it just isn't necessary? The women giving her the ethnic food are being very kind. I would be honored to have the chance to try their native food.

They are complimenting your supervisor by doing this.
For her to be rude to them would be an unforgivable act.

Maybe YOU should try it. You, unlike HER, just might like it!
That way, you could tell them that your superviser was kind enough to let you try some. Then, tell them you loved it, if that's true.

If THAT happened, EVERYONE would win.

She could give YOU the dishes and just tell them that you like it even more than SHE does.

Soon enough, they would stop giving HER food items and give them to YOU.

If YOU don't like them either, keep passing it around til you find someone who DOES!
I promise. SOMEONE will like it.
I know from experience, with odd tasting food. Things that make me GAG, are found to be scrumptous by others. Who knew> LOL!!

It would be considered a compliment by the women, for your boss to want to share. I know, whenever someone has something delicious or interesting, everyone wants some too or atleast the chance to taste it. Sharing is ALWAYS a nice gesture.
Have EVERYBODY in the office try it.

You should try it first and tell everyone how good it is, so THEY'LL try it! I think eveyone in the office could win on this one and your superviser would no longer be plagued by the food any more.

They will automaticly give the food to those who love it the most.

It's a win win.

Answer 3

In many cultures, refusing a gift of food is a very serious insult. And in any event, the women are trying to be kind and thoughtful by sharing a special dish and reducing the amount of cooking that your boss has to do at home.

I don't think your boss should have told you what she did, though. . .that's between her and her conscience. She's made her decision, and she's got to be the one to live with it.

You might suggest that if she doesn't like the food gifts, she could always share them with an elderly neighbor or a single person. They may appreciate the meals, even if she doesn't.

Answer 4

I think it's pretty childish of her to throw it away but I totally understand that if she gave it to someone else in the office, sooner or later the ladies would find out and feelings would be hurt. If she were my boss, I would recommend she approach the ladies and say she feels really bad that they are going to all that trouble for her, and they shouldn't be cooking up a storm on her account. She should then suggest they all go out together (dutch) when there's a special occasion they normally would be cooking for; that way, no one has to bother with a sink full of dishes, and they all get to sit down together, share a meal and enjoy eachother's company.

Answer 5

I find it appalling as well. If she is going to accept food she don't like, at least pass it on to someone who will instead of throwing it away. That is more rude that not accepting it. Even more rude is to tell others she didn't like it and throws it away!! Tell her she could at least take it to a homeless shelter, they wouldn't throw it away, that is for sure. I have no use for people like that.

Answer 6

She may already be in over her head, because if she tells them now that she does not like the ingredients, she will expose her past deceit. Perhaps she can tell them she is on a diet that excludes certain foods, or that her kids are going a mac-n-cheese-with-hot-dogs only phase.

Answer 7

Please leave her alone. She's determined to be nice.

If you stay on that job, sooner or later she's going to develop a medical condition that forces her to eat special food and she'll stop being able to accept those dishes that she gets.

Let her find her own way out of this food fight. She'll get out of it as graciously as she is putting up with it now. She meant it as a compliment to level with you about how she feels, by the way.

Answer 8

Honesty is still the best policy. She shouldn't have dragged this on for so long.

She could tell her to stop giving it to her because she is dieting and won't be able to take that kind of food.

Answer 9

specific sister, i will settle for any kind gesture as long because it would not conflict with my monotheistic faith. Celebrating birthdays is a controversy that falls under jurisprudence, making it a depend of ijtihad. i will factor out, although, that i do no longer have fun birthdays, yet will settle for the kind gesture, this time

Answer 10

i do the same. i hate sweet food and work makes and clients always give me chocies, lollies and cakes.......i take them home chuck them out, then tell the people that gave it to me that it was yummy......although i did hint at easter how i love a cold beer more than anything, so now some of them bring me there hubby's home brew instead.......