I need to help my girlfriend stop drinking but she won't admit she has a problem. I came up with the idea of going to AA and telling her that it's for me as I want to give up drinking totally. I can ask her to come for moral support and hope she realises that she has a problem. Do you think it will work or just cause more problems in our relationship?
Sorry about asking so many alcoholic questions but I'm desperate.
2006-09-18 17:07:03 · 17 answers · asked by travis 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Travis,
I hate to be unkind, but this is one of the dumbest ideas I've heard in some time.
If you think your girlfriend has a problem, talk to her about it. Trickery will only blow up in your face. Explain your concerns openly and honestly.
Here's a list of things that work:
http://www.behaviortherapy.com/whatworks.htm
Brief interventions are #1. AA is way down the list; it has (by it's own internal Triennial Survey and other studies, a 5% success rate. If you do con her into going to AA, and she ends up being part of the 95% who fail, what kind of strain will this put on your relationship? And many who do fail end up worse than when they started. People exposed to AA are four times as likely to end up binge drinking than those who try quitting on their own (which also has a 5% success rate).
Here's some practical tips on cutting down or quitting:
http://www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/DrinkTooMuch.html
If you really want her sober, don't try tricking her into a program with a 5% success rate.
2006-09-19 17:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by raysny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Well from past experience, on both sides.
I can honestly tell you, she will most likely keep drinking no matter what you say or do.
Now don't get me wrong, she will quit, but that has to come from her, and if she doesn't want to stop. Well there is very little you can do.
The only thing you can do, is try and make sure she stays out of real trouble.
Your idea will cause her to think, but if she thinks the wrong thing, you have lost any hope of helping her.
If you know the persons running the AA meeting, you may talk with them, see if they would play along, and not try to overwhelm her with all the AA stuff. If this can be done, and she is just an observer, listening to others that have ruined their lives, using alcohol, maybe, just maybe, she'll want to quit.
One more thing, if her addiction is very severe, she may need intervention, you may need to seek her out some medical help. But only as a last resort, believe me, it isn't a pretty sight. And it has its draw backs, health issues etc.
I hope I helped some
You know, you never are cured, this addiction is with you the rest of your life, so never for a minute think you can just drink one. Some get away with it, others die.
2006-09-19 01:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her, and let her know how you feel about her drinking. You can also bring up in the conversation, that if she had a wreck and hit a child or anyone, while she was drunk.. What would happen? How would she feel? What if she had children and someone who was drinking, hit her kids, how would she feel?.... Be upfront with her... I think if you bring up that she NEEDS A.A., she may rebel, but go with her for moral support. She does not have to say, that she is an alcoholic on the first visit. That will come when she is ready. She needs to sit and listen to others who have been there. She also may need to hit rock bottom before she decides she needs help. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-19 00:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by Fairy Princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No I don't. Is your girlfriend really an alcoholic or just a person who drinks alot. There is a difference. The only way you will get her to stop drinking (or not) is to give her an ultimatum the drink or you. Before you do it though remember you are the one who is having the problem with her drinking and you have to follow it through.
2006-09-19 00:11:22 · answer #4 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Travis. Good for you that you are willing to stick this out and help your gf.
Your idea is worth a try, but your gf needs to stop drinking for herself. You cant make it happen, she has to get to the point where her life in unmanageable and out of control. When this happens, she will hit rock bottom and can start healing from htere.
It's a hellish disease and if she can stop drinking for just 1 day she can stay sober for a lifetime.
Thats what I did. I just needed to stop drinking for tonight and that was 10 years ago. Remember, if she does stop a decent diet, balanced with good carbs and proteins with help a LOT with the cravings :) Good luck!
2006-09-19 02:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by eddie9551 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.. whatever works to help is what's important. Once she is in the rooms of AA, introduce her to other FEMALES there who understand her situation ~~ and they all do!! she needs support from others suffering from the same disease as her. If she is able to see that there is HOPE after the bottle, and LIFE, she will then SURRENDER to a better life.. good luck. Be patient with her ~ intially, a recovering alcoholic, once sober, feels an incredible amount of shame and guilt.. With time, though she will get her self-esteem back. AA is, however, for those who WANT it, not for those who NEED it ~~ because alot of people need it!! Going with her to AA meetings is very loving of you. You might also consider ALANON for yourself~it's a support group for the loved ones and families of alcoholics. They will show YOU how to draw boundaries with your girlfriend and not enable her disease. They UNDERSTAND YOU and what you are going through. There is alot of help available (FREE, LOVING HELP)....Once in the rooms of AA and ALANON, you and your girlfriend will see a whole new GOOD life opening. The past is over ~ TODAY is what counts! I pray it works out for you and for her!
2006-09-19 13:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you can do something even better. break her addiction without her knowledge if you think she is in denial.
there is a natural herbal supplement called Kalmin, you slip it into a glass of juice or food at each meal for 2 months and she wont be addicted anymore. this stuff even works on cocaine addicts. Its inexpencive and has no side effects.
email me for more info.
P.S. the AA meeting might work too, but she will be insulted if she finds out you were manipulating her. Um...dont let her catch you slipping the Kalmin to her for the same reason. :)
2006-09-19 01:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Natural healer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You never no but she may see right through you. and if she knows that u think she has a problem, she is not going to want to be an that kind of environment
It sounds tough on you and you sound like you care. Make sure she knows your there for her. You could mabey offer to take the coarse together
2006-09-19 00:10:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It obvious that your bein sweet and caring if you realize this problem and u are tryin to help. The bad thing is that sometimes alcoholics dont see that they are and if you try to say tell her that she will get extremely upset and into denial stage. You're idea seems appropriate because you are tryin the indirect technique. Try talkin to counselors to see what they recommend though.
2006-09-19 00:10:24 · answer #9 · answered by sugar507 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I have to show you the otherside on this one. Wake her up one day beligerently drunk. tell her a bunch of blah blah blah about drinking and non-drinking. Tell her you don't need AA and neither does she. Then go for the heartwrenching breakdown scenario.
2006-09-19 00:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by Thin King 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋