my son is 12 months and how do i get him in his own bed?

Question

he has been in my bed since day one and will not sleep in my bed alone if i get up he will be up with in 20 min. if not sooner same with naps i have to hold him for his naps. and i want to brake this but dont know how.

Answer 1

begin telling him what a big boy he is, when he does other things too and applaud him, then after a day or so start telling him you think it is time to fix his room up and make it into a big boys room, get him into it by letting him see it is for him only, then little by little have him sleep in it, it may take some tears and lots of patience but he will do it if you are consistant.

Answer 2

Your son has become co-dependant of you. You need to break this cycle NOW ! He will not like it, and will throw fits and cry a lot at first, but he will eventually accept it if you don't give in to his tantrums. The best way to break him of this co-dependancy is to put him on a blanket or comforter on the floor or in a play pen, or in a swing, and instead of holding him all the time, simply talk to him in soft, reassuring tones, or sing to him. You could also read a book out loud. Stay within his sight untill he falls asleep, then, once he is asleep, go do what ever else you need to do. Seeing you and hearing your vioce is all the assurance he needs to fall asleep, and, after a while, he will begin to stay asleep even when he doesen't hear your voice . If you don't do this now, you will have a terror on your hands later. Co-dependancy and parental bonding are not the same thing. A co-depencant will have problems throughout their live untill they learn to break these learned habits and behaviors. Parental bonding, if it is cultured correctly, will help remove any future problems before they become problems.

Answer 3

one thing about this , don't ever let a child sleep in your bed if you eventually want them in their own bed. Buy some ear plugs first of all. Get a routine started, lights low, read a book, warmbath, put him in his crib, shut the door, put ear plugs in. After 20 minutes, go check in on him, tell him you love him, DONT pick himup. Put ear plugs back in and within a week cry out will be done

It will be hard, not gonna lie, but ever since my son could walk, you say bedtime and he goes to the gate at the stairs. My son has never slept with us either has my daughter. They know when bedtime is. also let him sleep in their during his naptime
goodluck

Answer 4

There is a great book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. It is a step by step program for putting your child to sleep.

I have done it with my two and a half year old daughter. It works! It does take some patience and endurance from you though. Its going to be a tough habit to break so don't expect it to resolve itself overnight. But the book will give you hints, strategies and encouragement to get through it.

He says in the book that the most difficult child will only take three weeks to re-train. The average child is less than a week. My daughter took three nights.

Its a great book.

Good luck and happy dreams.

Answer 5

the answer really is simple. stop holding him and put him in his bed. sure he will scream and cry but after a while he will learn to sleep in his own bed. offer him a stuffed toy and put a night light up in his room. this will be harder for you than it will be for him but if you don't do it now, he'll be sleeping with you until puberty. you have to teach him that he will be o.k. by himself. if you don't do this then you are teaching him to be afraid to sleep without someone there all the time.believe me it is heart breaking to leave them in the room and walk off hearing them crying mama, mama, but it only last a few days, weeks at the most. the important thing is to be consistant and know that you are doing what is best for him. good luck!

Answer 6

I did the same thing with my children. One thing that you can try is going to sleep with him/her in his/her bed. Sleep with the child and once the child is asleep then leave the bed. If the child does get up after you get up and go to your bed then you will have to be strong but tell the child to go to his/her bed even though the child might cry. This might go on for a few days but the child will get used to the idea. But remember to be strong.

Answer 7

i was in a similar situation with my middle child. it got nuts. there are people who will tell you that there is nothing wrong with your baby sleeping with you. i totally found it completely draining. and done more out of desperation. even though you are sleeping---i was exhausted. my husband was exhausted. i missed my bed. i missed my husband. so basically, my kid hated his crib and/or sleeping alone. and i needed my sleep. my son was nursed to sleep. and he was a a night nurser. i was pg with my 3rd and weaned him at 9 months. that helped a little bit. i read jodi mindell's book on sleep--which mostly just helped me understand the whole sleep thing. i even read ferber's book--which surprisingly isn't a bad read. one day when i was ready, at nap time--i got him relaxed and then put him down for a nap in his crib. YES--there was some crying--of course--because he did not like it. but before he got too upset, i would go back in, comfort him...and try again. i tried to figure out what he needed. like a favorite stuffed animal, favorite toy or blanket...etc. he did not like a pacifier like my first and thrid baby. so--the first 24 hours were horrible. if he woke in the middle of the night--i did whatever i needed to do to get him back to sleep. usually that was falling asleep with me. according to the sleep theory after awhile he should learn from his naps how to fall asleep on his own. well, my son did go to bed on his own the second night at bedtime--and was pretty much ok after 3 days with his crib. until we moved him to a big bed at 2.5. oh---he never did figure out that thru the night thing until he recently. and even so--he still wakes up occasionally. i think my son developed sleep onset association disorder. meaning, he didn't figure out how to fall asleep on his own. http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/growth/diagnose/bed-problems.htm

get some sleep books. read them all and formulate your own plan of action. and when you get started--BE CONSISTENT!

Answer 8

I went through this same thing with my daughter. What I finally had to do was to put a gate up on my door and not let her in. She cried for about an hour before sh fell asleep in front of my door. She slept in her room from then on.

Answer 9

At first, it will be hard for the kid to adjust. The period of adjustment will be from 3-4 months. Be sure to put his favorite toys beside him. Toys will help him to adjust. But then, if I were you, it will be OK to sleep with the baby so that there will be enough Mother and Child BONDING.

Answer 10

i have 3 kids and all 3 slept with me on and off mostly on lol
my first who is now 9,she slept with me when she was able to walk to my bed and did so until she was almost 6,my middle child slept with me every night from birth to almost 1,and now wakes up in the early morning sometime after 1 am and comes to my bed,my 7 month old has to fall asleep in my arms and then he goes to his crib for 2 to 3 hours,then will NOT sleep unless he is on me,I lay on my back and he lays on my tummy with his hands wrapped in my hair.....
I suggest trying a toddler bed or atleast the mattress next to your bed,then move it out slowly inch by inch each night until its in his room,or put him in his room and stay until he is asleep,put a shirt of yours under his head so he smells you and snuggle him up with a blanket/stuffed animal!that sometimes helps,also I used a tv sound all the way down and the light seemed to help my oldest daughter.
i had/have to hold mine for naps,the oldest no longer naps thank god LOL
but even my 18 month old likes to be held for naps,but doesnt mind being layed down when she falls asleep for them.
my 7 month old can NOT be put down for a nap,he wakes up instantly!!!
its just up to the kid I think,I cant see letting them scream and cry and be all upset and scared to get them over it so they sleep alone,obviously you cant either,so way to go mom! you rock! enjoy holdin him,one day he wont want ya to.................