Should I have a 2nd child? I want my child to have a sibling, but I selfishly need money and adult time?

Question

If I have a 2nd child I'll have less money to engage in my hobby of travel. And I'll be limited to less exotic destinations at least until the child gets quite a bit older. And I'll have less time to myself and more years of the tedium of dealing with infants and toddlers. On the other hand, I think it's important for a child to have a sibling and have heard that ultimately they will entertain each other. On the other hand, again, it's important for the parents to be happy and this may decrease my happiness. I'm riddled with conflict and think it comes down to my selfish desires versus my benevolent feeling about not having an only child.

Answer 1

Please do not considering bringing another child into this world if you are not 100% sure that you are ready. With everything you have said you are not ready for another child. I thought my husband and I were ready to have a second child but unfortunately I think I was more ready then he was/is. I am happy that I have my 2 daughters but he would be happy just with the oldest. You can't go back and change things, so please please think it over before committing to having another child.

Answer 2

Well first off, you didn't mention anything about a father figure. When having a 2nd child, yes it means more money, but not as much. If you're a single parent, the government will help you with a 2nd child. If you want the best for your child, his happiness, that should be QUITE enough for YOUR happiness. Yes, being greedy is tempting, but at the long run, you wouldn't regret having a 2nd child. You can travel all you want, its called babysitting - yes, another expense, but its no need. A child is a blessing not a curse, so if you're seeing this the wrong way, you're not ready.

Answer 3

If you have to ask yourself this question, the odds are good that you're not ready for another child. Contrary to what people try to tell you, there's nothing wrong with being an only child. I was an only child for the first 12 years of my life, and I'm a reasonably happy and well-adjusted adult today.

Think about it this way: if you're tired all the time and resenting the second child, what good have you done for yourself or him/her? You're also splitting up resources that may or may not be enough for two children.

Until you're really enthused and looking forward to a new baby, I suggest waiting. Both you and your already born child will benefit.

Answer 4

You are the only who knows if you should have a second child. Not some strangers on Yahoo Answers.
It sounds as though you really do not want one in my opinion.
If you are openly admitting you are selfish, then that is how you are. Do not bring an innocent child into the world that could "decrease" your happiness & do not bring one in to entertain your other child. Your child can make friends. They do not need a sister/brother necessarily & especially since it sounds like you don't want another on. Have a child if you really want to have a child.

Answer 5

I don't think that you're selfish, you're just being realistic with yourself about the things that you want. I am sure that you could adjust just fine to having a second child, but I think you should be sure that it is what you want first.
Don't let your parenting decisions be driven by guilt. If you think that you would be unhappy with more children, and that it could affect the way you interact with your children, then simply focus on making sure that your child spends lots of time with other children, etc.
Then you can reevaluate from time to time how you feel about the balances between your needs and your wishes for a second child. If you feel ready in a year or two, then go for it. Otherwise, have fun with your first!

Answer 6

Why did you have child number 1 to begin with?????????
If another child is going to decrease your happiness, then why are you contemplating having another one ???????
I always thought that having a child to hold a marriage together was the worst thing I had ever heard. But not any more thanks to you, having a child to provide a playmate for your first child takes the cake......

I say have another one. You sound like an outstanding parent who only puts his child's needs first. Then after you have child number two. Have another, keep popping them out like a stinking pez dispenser. The worlds needs the insight that some of your loved, cared for, wonderful children will bring to the table after being raised by such a wonderful person as yourself.

Answer 7

Im curious as to how old the first child is because if they will be far apart in age there is no use to have another child because nine times out of ten the first child is already set in his\her ways and a sibling is not going to change that. My answer is NO.

Answer 8

When a person has a second child do not for one minute think you are doing it for the other child, they may well hate each other. You do not want another so don't do it. Your child will have friends and will be just as happy and balanced as any other kid. And you can keep thinking about just you.

Answer 9

You may be surprised to find out in the long term that having another child helped make your family 'more complete'. It's only natural to want greater freedom, so don't feel guilty. But many people find that having another child has brought greater rewards over time. Children grow up so quickly, and you'll most probably find more personal contentment in your freedom when the children gain their independence.

Answer 10

Sounds like you aren't quite ready to have a second child. You need to decide what is more important to you right now, another child/sibling or your time/money. Only you can answer that.