im 18 and with a guy 22 he doesnt have his licenise all he does is work and drink at the pub should he change?

Question

i want to know if i should try an change him or let him do it on his own.

Answer 1

Well, let me tell you something. YOU CAN"T change him. He has to change himself. If he doesn't want to change he never will. My husband is the same way and while we were dating it could be a fun lifestyle. We'd work and party and that was about it but now that we're married things are different we just had a baby and although I have quit partying it's still a big part of his life. This is a fact that really puts a lot of strain on our marriage...

So my advice is this... Sit your boyfriend down and talk things out. Tell him how you feel and be HONEST!! Don't beat around the bush. Just come right out with what you need to say. Tell him you care for him and want to be with him BUT you feel his lifestyle is and could be causing problems between you two. Tell him you feel he's drinking to much and you don't feel it's good for him. If this guy loves you he'll be willing to work with you. Don't expect him to quit drinking! Just ask him to cut back... Maybe he could drink 4 nights a week in stead of 6 and spend 3 nights a week with you. This way you are showing him that you are not trying to make decisions for him and that you are willing to compromise...

Even if this really isn't what you want right now. If he's willing to cut back on his drinking it shows how he feels for you and he may even say he wants to be with you 4 nights instead of 3 but allow him to make the offer, don't ask him for the majority of his time for that would make you "needy" in his eyes. Listen to what he says and then pay strict attention to what he does in the next few weeks... Remember actions do speak the loudest! He can say he wants to be with you but if he continues to blow you off then does he really??

He may not even see there is a problem with things. I know my husband didn't until I started to talk to him about it and how it makes me feel. And you are also going to need to remember that he's young... Young is just another name for ignorant! He's still very impressionable and easily swayed by his friends so you are going to have some competition no matter what you do!

Problems like this do take time to solve and you're both willing to stick with it and work out the issues then it very well could work.
If you love this guy and want to be with him then try to work things out... But know when it's time to throw in the towel... If you talk to him and he just isn't willing to make the changes that he needs to make then maybe you need to make some changes and either learn to deal or find someone else. Although finding someone else may be painful you will need to look at the big picture and decide if this is the kind of man you want to be with.


No matter what you do Good Luck! I hope the best for you!

Answer 2

As I found this question in the australian part I will tell you this will not change for at least 13 years. The average aussie boy will be seen hanging at the pub whenever awake till the age of 35. Then the cut it back to 5 times a week eventually in their mid 60's some will go on a health binge cause all their mates have died from liver disease. If you are content with this keep being his girlfriend (cause they don't marry till they are 37).

Answer 3

He's not going to change.. you should not try to change him. However, what you might want to do is express your concern at his frequent visits to the pub and how important it would be to you to reduce those visits - and how it affects your relationship - also speak to him about his getting a DL so you guys can do more things together.
I imagine you probably have your DL license already - I'd cut down the times to drive him around and hopefully you're not doing that. He should be doing those things for you, as a man should- be a gentleman, call you regularly, hold the door open, be polite and respectful and faithful to you.
All the best

Answer 4

you know what you are the problem
you are the one who has to change
that man does not have a liscence, all he does is work and drink in a pub
if you dont have any dreams for yourself and for your future children then stick with him
but if you have plans for your life, leave that man behind,you know you cant change someone who does not want to be changed
you see if you both are really in love then you should be headed at a brighter future
but in your case you feel he lacks the capacity
since youre not really satisfied with who he is , get out of that situation

Answer 5

If you are with him then why would you want to change him. You know how he was before yall started to date. You can't change anyone. Either you need to except him for who he is or you need to move on. Would you liked it if someone tries and want to change you.

Answer 6

Yes! Change him! You do not need some one like that in your life. Your better than that!

Answer 7

Should he change? Honey you can't change him he can only change himself. If he doesn't see a problem with the way he lives then he won't change.

Answer 8

Ancient swedish proverb:
Women marry men thinking they will change, men marry women thinking they'll never change. Both are wrong.

Answer 9

First things is first..... YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM.....HE HAS TO WANT TO DO IT ON HIS OWN.........

Maybe you should look into yourself and ask yourself what it is you really want in a man.... and what you will not stand for in a man and find out if he is that man for you

Cuzz if he is not ...I beg you not to waste your time......

Answer 10

sounds like a loser to me, yet that depends on his job, and of course he should change, getting wasted and hanging out is a habitual, so if it doesnt change now your gonna be stuck with a drunk