says he luvs me but not ready for a commitment?

Question

talks about how he wants to be with me and al that but is afraid of commintment because his afraid am goining to break his heart like his ex girl did

Answer 1

You need to give they guy a bit of time, I understand where he's comming from. I'm still kind of shaky even being in a relationship, and my current boyfriend knows it. Getting your heart broken can leave you seriously gun-shy of relationships. The guy probably really does love you, but is still scared of going through that heartbreak again.

All you need to do is be understanding, give him a little time to warm up to the idea of commitment, and time to feel a bit safer in his relationship with you. It may take time, but in the end, it really does benefit the both of you.

That is if you really love this guy.

If you do then, just understand that he's been hurt, and help him heal. Tell him you wouldn't break his heart, and that you love him, just whenever...just to say it. He may roll his eyes, or scowl, or make some sarcastic remark about it...but it really does make him feel a whole lot better, and it heightens that security.

I hope it works out.

Till next time,
Raven

Answer 2

Yes, we need some context before we can help you.

Are you in Junior High or are you fifty?

If you are over 18, then you need to make it clear to him, at the SAME TIME (which is hard) that:

1. You love him and would never hurt him like his ex did. You are ready for committment and you love him, and that is the difference between you and her.

2. He may want to be with you, but your definition of love includes committment. You won't consider it a true reciprocal love until he demonstrates it by committing to you.

I hope these two things are the case. If so, make them known to him. If not, then leave him.

Answer 3

If he's telling the truth, he's obviously been hurt and that can sometimes leave deep wounds that take a long time to heal. He needs support. Let him know that you want to be with him and that you'll be there for him, but give him some time. If he continues to be afraid of commitment after you've given him time, move on. You can't wait around forever.

Answer 4

ohh yes,the standered line,i'm in the same situation but thigns r a little more progressed for me.See the best thing for u to do here is decide,do u really love him?do u really want to be with him? if you don't then jus ditch the whole idea,but if u really do.............then u have to make him see that,u have to put all your trust that things will work out,he has to trust you,thats the most important thing in a relationship,tell him u really care,every time he says somthing about his day or such jus act intrested,listen to him,care about whats going on in his life,always pay attention to every word he says.A guy can ignore somthing a girl says and get away w/it jus cuz he's a guy but if a girl ignores somthign a guy says he will get offended,often times bcuz many thigns guys say r veiled compliments or suggestions,so listen closely,grow a deep friendship,the best relationshisp come from close long lasting friendships.....basically he needs to know u will always be there for him not jus in words but in actions,so in time he will see how much u care,but u have to b patient and don't ever lose ur temper at him for taking so long,love can't b taken lightly,u have to show him....like skip a party to be with him,or whateevr spend time out of ur scheduale ect send him 3 word emails jus saying u miss him....jus show him u r waiting for him....and ask him from time to time how he feels about your friendship,and follow his lead,let your heart and soul take over and do what u think best,but the number one thing is showing him u really want him in the longterm,if u give up he only has one more reason to think u will dump him like his ex girl did...so u have to b patient...and hopfully eventually your closness will turn into a great relationship
i hope this helped,best of luck girl!
*luuuuuuv*

Answer 5

Then you need to give him time, if you push this person then you will lose him because you are not respecting his feelings. When people are hurt it takes time to overcome them, that's not to say he doesn't trust you it just means he needs time to heal and when he does and he's ready then you as his supporter will reap the rewards. KNow he has commited by saying he loves you and by the fact that he is with you and dont make the mistake of pushing or nagging him or your relationship with disolve before your very eyes.

Answer 6

Think solely about how YOU feel. If you want a commitment with this guy, lay it on the line. If he is expressing wanting a commitment with you then let him know how you feel. Keep everything honest, up front and lay it on the line. Stick to your guns. Get what you want outta life by asking for it. This is not about him. It's about YOU! If he is not able or willing to give you what you need....move on. It's for your best interest. Remember...YOU first.

Answer 7

I was in a situation like this a couple of years back and to tell you the truth things didnt work out but I always think that if you show him that he can trust you and be there for him then he will see for himself and gradually begin to trust you at the end of the day he cant control if he falls for you or not. Go for it xx

Answer 8

commitment in what way? Marriage or a relationship? How long have you been dating him? If its been a while then maybe he's just using that as an excuse. If he doesnt want to commit then what can you do to change his mind. Seems like his mind is made up.

Answer 9

Well, he made up his mind, no commitment.
You have a decision to make, do you want no commitment or are you going to move on and start dating others who is more willing to give you the commitment you are looking for.

Answer 10

Love involves more trust than that. He wants to love you, it sounds like, but doesn't know how to get there. Be patient for now and keep trying to communicate. Only time will tell if it will happen or if you need to move on. Keep your eyes open and don't get stuck if this continues for too long.