Im really worried about my 5yo niece. I have a beautiful, healthy, bright 5yo niece who started kindergarten this year. The trouble is that Im growing increasingly worried that she wont stay that way. My sister in law is basicaly IMO a horrible mother or at least has slim to no motherly instincts. Sleeps all day causing her lil girl to be late to school, spends 0 time trying to teach her much of anything, constantly feeds her junk food, lazy. She is the kind of person who puts herself and her needs above that of her child. Severly lacking in responsibility. Much more concerned with how her daughter looks than if shes smart. Shes an ex-stripper so her mom was obviously no mom of the yr. Tells her daughter things like "Dont you want to be pretty so people will like you?" Im just worried that her lack of parenting is taking its toll on my niece. Shes already bottom of her kinder class. I dont live near so I dont get to spend much time either. PLZ Anyone have any ideas on how I could help?
2006-09-18 14:35:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just wanted to say thank you for all your comments and suggestions. I cant call authorities because technically she is not doing anything harmful. She just really sucks at being a mother. My brother is a good dad but is away alot working. He cares for her more than anything and would never let anything happen to her, but they just arn't responsible parents. I am not worried about my nieces saftey I just worried about her loosing out and ending up in a bad situation because her parents didnt do enough in the beginning to give her a good foundation to grow from. I just wish there was some way I could get them to be good parents and stop being so selfish. Judging from their personality if I could figure out a way to make it "cool" to be a responsible parent they would be all over it. I just dont think I can change them. I cant really talk to them without making things worse. Wish there was a way to get them interested in being good parents. Thanks everyone
2006-09-18 17:30:08 · update #1
Get involved. Contact the school, or social services. You said she was your sister-in-law. Who is the father? If it's your brother, can't he improve things?
2006-09-18 14:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness, that is a problem! I saw a question earlier where someone asked, what makes a bad parent, and that would definitely fit the bill of being a bad parent.
I have a cousin who sleeps all day & doesn't get up and take her kids to school. Won't even get up and get them off to the bus stop! The oldest is 7yo and hasn't even made it through kindergarten! I don't know why she isn't in jail.
I don't know what to tell you unless you are willing to get authorities involved, as far as her not feeding her properly and not getting her to school on time..... There could be more you could tell them.
All you can really do is pray that things get better for the child. I don't think talking to her mother will do any good, she will just get mad at you & then you may lose contact with the little girl.
Good luck to you, and the child!!
2006-09-18 21:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same worries about my 6 yr. old nephew.
But both parents are dead beats. They don't get off the couch to parent. And my fat sister in law projects her own poor body image onto her son and tells him he has to lose weight.
He is a sweet boy with good values but I have no idea how he will keep them throughout the years.
I do live close to him but there is only so much my husband and I can do, we are not his parents.
We give him love. We tell him how smart he is and ask about school and if he needs help with his homework.
What I found really gives him a boost sometimes in the love and confidence department is sending a postcard.
I write small notes like: "Hi, I was thinking about you and wanted you to know how much I love you, so I bought you this postcard. Hope you are having a wonderful day!"
The postcard idea might help you keep a strong relationship with your neice because you can't visit her. And as she gets older she will hopefully see you as someone she can confide in and ask for help from.
Also, call her on the phone as often as you think of her. She will come to look forward to the attention you give her and at some point will recognize that her mother's view of the world isn't the only female view there is.
2006-09-18 21:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by trinitybelwoodspark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a daughter almost like your sister in law. Sleeps daily, daughter eats junk food and constantly telling her about her looks and always commenting about other people and how being pretty is sooooooooo important. She is 8 years old and extremely smart and well behaved. She also defends her mother and sticks up for her. It really gets me sick to my stomach sometimes and I can't sleep at night. If I say anything to my daughter we get into a fight. She thinks she is a wonderful mother cause she takes them places and plays games with her. But, I tell her being a good mother means clean clothes, house and healthy food. I don't know the answer. I guess we can do so much and hope for the best.
2006-09-18 21:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Corina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like my sister in law...whom I also hate..yes hate...have not one piece of respect for her.....if your'e truly worried about her wellbeing how about reporting her to childrens aid? Ive tried that route..only to be told that unless the child has cigarette burns in his arms and isnt being fed there's not too much they can do to help as their list is too long....sad, so sad....what is our world coming too...? You need a licence to get a dog but any stupid b.... can have a child. Our world is screwed. What about the only family members...same concerns? Try and arrange more family get togethers...and look over things more often. Good luck...I do feel for you I've been going through the same dilemma for 12 years and have got nowhere. My sister in law is hugely obese, has diabetes...no friends...raises my nephew like a possession not a child. He doesnt have any friends. She doesnt. Nobody visits.. and to top it off he has autism. She could go into a coma at anypoint and there is no back up plan. I am exhausted trying to help him...I have 3 children of my own..one who is also medically challenged. I know it sounds cold but I basically gave up..nobody listens....I hope, truly hope you have more luck than I have..
2006-09-18 21:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is the child's father? I would call protective services ...but I am not sure they will even help. Be sure to tell them that the mother gets the child to school late due to her own sleeping habits. This might raise their eyebrows. I would also call the school and don't forget an atttorney who specializes in family.
Whatever it takes.
2006-09-18 21:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This childs rights must come first .
Get involved call the authoritys and give this baby a chance at a good life .
I would not worry about the Mom , if she cared she would be doing something to promote a healthy enviornment for her now .
now we are all pulling for this little girl , get on the phone please !
2006-09-18 21:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know what school this little girl goes to PLEASE call the guidance counselor and tell her about this. You dont even have to tell them who you are, just tell them you are a concerned neighbor. You might try child protective services too. Dont be afraid to do this, they want to keep children with a parent and maybe a visit from them might wake up this pathetic woman.
2006-09-18 21:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by shirley e 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get more involved and be there to take the niece off her hands and that will put you in the lime light.
2006-09-18 21:49:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the mother about her skills,or ask to take care of the child so you can raise her.
2006-09-18 21:38:28 · answer #10 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋