Anyone ever in a similar situation? What comprimises did you come up with?
2006-09-18 13:55:36 · 31 answers · asked by Annie Oakley 2 in Pets ➔ Cats
I should mention that the cat sheds and makes him a bit stuffy.
2006-09-18 14:19:02 · update #1
tell him "take me, take my cat".
2006-09-18 13:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by jenms2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband had no animals before we got married, and now we have 4 cats and 2 dogs, all inside animals. I would explain to your future husband the dangers a cat can face if put outside, particularly a cat that has spent all its life indoors. It can get attacked by dogs, hit by cars, poisoned etc. Tell him that you are worried something will happen to your cat. Hopefully he will understand. I don't think you should just put your cat outside, as that's not a compromise, that's doing what he wants. IF he doesn't agree to that, perhaps you can make your garage or utility room air conditioned and keep the cat in there when he is home. Personally I think that would be a fair compromise. He wouldn't have to deal with the cat, BUT it would get to stay inside where it's safe which is what you want. (If you do either of those things though, make sure that the rooms are free and clear of any and all chemicals that your cat could get into and make himself sick, including any oil or antifreeze stains that may be on your garag floor)
2006-09-18 14:03:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
For one thing I am sorry to say is that i don't like your bf,but i may have a solution for your question. You could try to make a room or build a new room just for your cat. Your boyfriend doesn't have to go in there. The cat can stay inside. And you will be happy also. I not sure if this is the best idea because of money and stuff but I hope this helps.
2006-09-18 13:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by penguo01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't give too many details. Is your boyfriend allergic to cats? That might be part of his concern. Does out mean as in the cat is put out at night or does out mean permanently gone?
One compromise might be that the cat is confined at night to a room or a "crate". Perhaps your boy friend doesn't like the idea of the cat being on food surfaces at night? Or doesn't want to find himself waking up with the cats butt in his face. Hey, it happens.
If he wants the cat gone for good, you need to decide if this difference in your values is a deal breaker. Too many people who have great "chemistry" cease to give attention to practical matters that can make or break a relationship over the long haul. Just because you're great in the sack together is no reason to marry the guy. Some of the people we find the most sexually attractive are those who would make the worst life partners.
2006-09-18 14:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Magic One 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not even married and wanting you to change your lifestyle. What a jerk. I had to dump several great women because they didn't share my love for animals. Apparently he doesn't love you enough to put up with your 1 cat. Tell him how you feel, not us. If he knew you had a cat when you started dating, then he was a bigger jerk to let you think it was ok then tell you to ditch the cat before you got married. It sounds like an excuse to me. Take my word on it, I am a guy and we are all *** holes. And your *** hole sounds manipulative to me which is never a good start. Grow a pair and tell him how you feel. If he really loves you, he will offer a compromise, not an ultimatum. And guys like that, gives guys like me a bad name. If he can't get over the fact that you have a cat, that he knew you had before he started dating you then good riddance. Take it from a guy, we are able to compromise, we have a cat even though I am not a cat guy, I love my reptiles, the cat is my wifes, but we have a cat and I wouldn't give him up for anything. It's all about compromise, if he cant deal with something you have loved for far longer than you loved him, he will get mad he can't control you and dump you. And if he does that, who needs him. You are better off.
2006-09-19 10:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by bobby h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a discussion you need to have with him.
I am incredibly allergic to cats they make me miserable when I am around them. If he has the same reaction that needs to be taken into consideration.
No matter how much he may love you a person can only put up with being miserable before they want out.
It may become a point of resentment talk this out with him and come to a resolution.You both may have to give in a little but that is better than a lousy marriage
2006-09-18 14:37:07 · answer #6 · answered by utg_45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him, it will be a constant source of trouble between you and him, if he doesn't like cats he will make the animal's life hell. Wait until you find someone who likes cats, no guy is worth it. I'm not joking, it seems silly to people that aren't good pet owners, but you have to have the same core values to get along in a marriage and if this issue is coming up before marriage, it's going to be a real problem later.
2006-09-18 14:16:03 · answer #7 · answered by magpie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult. If you truly love this man you have to consider his reasons for not wanting the cat. But consider them carefully. How could a truly GOOD person not like a cat or dog?I just cant imagine a person being capable of true love- if they cant be sympathetic to the human/animal bond.
Maybe he has more superficial concerns such as the smell of the litter box? In which case maybe the two of you could buy a self cleaning box so there's never a smell to deal with. Or maybe he's a fraid of the shedding on his neat little clothes. they make lots of remedies for that.
But be very weary of anyone who simply doesnt like animals.
2006-09-18 14:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ragan 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why are you marrying him? He has been over to your home
at least once. Did he and the cat get along? Tell Mr. Wonderful
that you and the cat are a package deal. It's either all or nothing.
If he loves you then he loves the fact that you love cats. Sounds like he is already trying to control you. I would think again about this guy. If he won't let you have a cat, then what else won't he let you do?
2006-09-18 14:06:38 · answer #9 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If he is not allergic which you would have learned of before now if you've known each other long enough to be engaged then he needs to understand that the cat stays.
My Dad hates cats but we always had at least one growing up (Mom loves them) he just did not tend to their welfare that was her or my brothers and my job.
I actually did not accept an engagement proposal because I was told by the boyfriend I could not keep an indoor cat. Love me Love my cat(s) I now have two and my currant boyfreind loves them and even has a couple of his own.
2006-09-18 14:19:50 · answer #10 · answered by patrea_s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the cat was there first. Why does he not want the cat indoors? Is he allergic or just does'nt like cats? When my husband and I got married he was a total dog person and didn't much like cats at all. I basically told him "love me, love my cat". I have since converted him and he has a cat that is "his" that he totally spoils! Tell you husband about all the dangers an outdoor cat can face, and would'nt he feel terrible if he was the cause of your cat being killed. Sounds like he is being a little selfish and only thinking about his own needs.
2006-09-18 14:06:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋