my relationships are tainted by my insecurity which I usually try to hide by trying to control the situation and over analysing ... now i am in a relationship and I guess i spend half the time thinking about things like should i call him or should i call him later and worrying that if i will do st wrong he'll go off me. deep inside i believe that i have to play it cool - it's so exhausting... yes and i have to say that I felt like that if every guy I really liked .... any girls /guys with similar problems who managed to overcome it???
2006-09-18 13:22:05 · 15 answers · asked by petr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've never actually had that problem, you should feel really secure in your relationship. If you worry just because you're going to call him at the wrong time then you should probably not be going out with him. There are plenty of people out there that don't mind if you call them at any time and things like that. Relationships are built on trust, and if you're too busy analysing everything that comes up in your relationship then you should either talk to your boyfriend about it or dump him.
2006-09-18 13:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been through a similar situation. I had an ex fiancee of two years and it ended badly. Luckily I ended it so it wasn't that bad. Plus some other issues with family so when I started dating the girl I'm currently dating... well still afraid that she'll kind of disappear. But is it really worth worrying about? Try to notice hints about if she's really interested in you. Most women will date guys that remind them of their father, and most of the time they never notice it. If she compares you to her dad, or he sounds a lot like you in either appearance when younger or personality. I've also dated a stripper once that had a lot of guy friends and still hung out with her exs. Some girls do that but it's not a bad thing. She chose you over them so she thinks you're a step up from the the exs. And look up some things about sex. Great sex will make a girl stick with you no matter what lol. Specially if she's never gotten off, then you have her hook line and sinker.
2016-03-17 22:38:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust in a relationship comes with good communication, honesty, open-ness, time, and emotional maturity. It can strengthen and weaken over the course of a relationship. I would advise that since you are trying to hide your insecurity and control the situation this likely contributes heavily to your inability to trust and increased feelings of insecurity. The only thing you can control is yourself, and hiding things doesn't solve them. Jealousy is natural, acting on it is a problem. Focus on being yourself and communicating your feelings, thoughts, and fears and the right person will understand you and help to resolve them.
2006-09-18 13:31:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity definetly comes from you. Something in your past has caused you to not trust. Look to your past and think of what it was and try to relate that to your current man. Meaning, if an ex cheated on you think, has this person given you any reason to doubt his fidelity? If the answer is no, then you simply have to be willing to trust him. This will come with time in the relationship. Every time you want to call him to check up, call a g/f instead. Good luck!
2006-09-18 13:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by StickySituation 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best that both people in the relationship are understanding in this area. If my wife or I felt insecure,
(before and after we got married) we would let the other person know, explain why, and we would comfort and let the other person know there is no reason to be insecure.
The big part is having a mutual understanding/agreement.
2006-09-18 13:28:23 · answer #5 · answered by banjo_mccain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never had that problem but it must be exhausting. You need to quit second-guessing yourself. You must have something going for you if you have had several relationships. First of all, just be yourself. Let him do the calling so that's one thing you don't have to worry about. Don't be needy, that smothers the relationship. Try to always be fun-loving and happy and you will have more friends than you can handle. Good luck.
2006-09-18 13:26:40 · answer #6 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way i try and look at it theres no point in worring about things that aint happening. Just enjoy your relationship and the time you spend together. Live in the moment. Be yourself. If something goes wrong then worry about it. Enjoy the good times. If its meant to be you'll stay together.
2006-09-18 13:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Irish eyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If life was like a box of chocolates etc. etc. Or as Dianna Ross sung there, Sorry I lost track but it is diffucult not really knowing? I've things in comman to my ladyfriend but am still not knowing? Back out with her and "Whatever I will see if she been on the blind date she had met and if we still have something cause I thought she call at least she has partically an idea here!"
2006-09-18 13:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by David H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to trust your partner - tell your partner you love them often and mean it, the response will be the same, look into those eyes , beleive in the person you love , talk, ask , reply be part of it , be positive ,think good thoughts about being together and relate them to your artner - plan ahead , a long term commitment . believe your partner is for you but relax and be a little bit cool too - see how much the love comes your way , ahh what a feeling . And good luck .
2006-09-18 13:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by christopher o 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem is not with the guy....it is with you. You need to stop "acting" and just make intelligent decisions based on what is best for you........but, in an unselfish way. It is hard to explain but it starts with your own personal boundaries and not worrying about everyone else says or thinks. It all comes from within.
2006-09-18 13:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋