My 17th birthday is tomorrow and my father is not here. How do I deal with it?

Question

My birthday is tomorrow and my father passed away Sept 2nd. This is my first birthday without him how do I deal with it? Please help me I am driving myself crazy.

Answer 1

Just take it one day at a time realize that he loved you and is looking down on u and telling he does.

Answer 2

First "everythings" are hard after the loss of a loved one. My son's lost their father just over six years ago. Every first holiday, birthday, special occasion without him was difficult.

As useless as it sounds.... time will mellow the hurt. I know that right now it doesn't feel that way. It is all too new and raw. Watch your mother too. She will be trying to be strong for you and any brothers or sisters you may have. Sometimes we have to step outside our own hurt and help our other family members.

Buddy passed away on December 9th, the first family holiday was Christmas. It was a tough one. But for his birthday in February we celebrated. He would have hated everyone being sad. We all took turns recounting different funny or wonderful things he did. We all came away feeling that we were better people for the time we had him in our lives, no matter how short that time was.

I know that my boys were only 12 and 14 when their dad passed away and about two years after he passed away my youngest came to me and cried and said that he was starting to forget Dad, so I broke out the pictures and we played "remember when". And he realized that he had not forgotten Dad at all.

Your dad loved you and his love and spirit are always within you even though he may not physically be there. As time passes you will have moments when you can feel his strength there in your heart. Just become the wonderful woman he always knew you would be and that is the best way to show him how much you love him. You are seventeen and a young woman, be aware that this is going to be really difficult on your mother. Though she may try to hide it, or she may just break down. We widows may make some strange decisions for a couple of years. Be patient, loving and supportive, she will need it. The responsibilities that come to bear on the widow are massive. So do what you can to make it easier on her.

Bless you and keep the faith, you are a stronger person than you may think.

Answer 3

You will be okay. Remember the good times you had with him, and overflow your mind with them. The pain will never go away, but over time it will just get easier. Trust me, it feels just as bad to have a father who is ALIVE and not around then for a father to have passed on naturally. If he was suffering, this is a plus, not a minus, since now he is resting peacefully, painlessly, and ok. Remember that when he passed,all of his worries were dropped and he has his permanent vacation where there is no worries, no sickness, no pain, no tears, no work nothing bad. Like i said, the pain will never leave, but it will be much easier for you to handle in the future when you learn to think of the BEST FUNNIEST and most feel-good times you had with him when he was still living with you. He's still here, just in your heart. I am extremely sorry for your loss. Have a blessed Birthday, and try to be strong and be happy.

Hope this helps :)

Answer 4

I am sure that it has to be horrible for you...my father passed away 4 years ago of cancer and although I was an adult,my sister was only 13...all you can do is take 1 day at a time....some helpful hints....I keep some of my dad's clothes that he wore and when I miss him real bad,I get them out and hold them....they still smell like him and that helps...I am so sorry that your father passed away,I know how it feels....Happy Birthday,I am sorry I cannot help more

Answer 5

Well Natalie, first of all I want to give you my condolenses on the passing of your father, I'm sure he was a fine man. This is your 17th birthday, you should be looking forward to it with great anticipation. This is your last birthday before you step into the world of adulthood, so you should enjoy it. I hope you do.

Answer 6

Oh my dear, how I understand how you feel. My hubby died a year ago and my children have all had a birthday since then and each celebrated in a different way-none of them wanted the typical birthday party which is traditional in our family. They are 8, 9 and 23 years old. You are closer in age to my oldest daughter and she decided to be Daddy's biggest little girl on that day and got together with some of her closest friends and spent the day goofing off at a water slide park-just like they used to when they were young and she said she pretended like her Dad was with her. She was very distraught over her father's death as I am sure you are but she writes him quite a bit and on her birthday she bought herself a card from her Dad and signed it just like he always did-she said she knew he would have done it if he could be here so she did it for him. She also went and bought something for herself with her birthday money she thought her Dad would have gotten her-not something she necessarily would have wanted but something goofy he would have gotten. That was her way of celebrating her birthday "with" him. I hurt for you as I so know the pain of losing someone so important-I was very in love with my husband. I believe he is watching over us and we will never forget his unconditional love. Just remember those things and my daughter says she believes he guides her in her decisions-she wants him to look down and be proud of her. I am passing that wisdom on to my little ones. Make your Dad proud and know and feel his love for you-that did not die! Take care, my prayers are with you.

Answer 7

hi, my bestfriends dad died 2 years ago, my friend decided to take the day off and just hang out by himself. i think that was not the best thing because he was soo bored and he deicided to "hurt" himself. i say just be thank-ful you had 17 of your birthdays with your dad. go to school, have some fun, nothing you do could bring him back. and i don't know if your the kind of person to hurt yourself but don't it's never worth it in the end.
trust me
-Lydia

Answer 8

Have a birthday celebration with all his favorite foods and at the places that he loved to be at.He sees you and loves you, he understands that things are hard with you right now but I just now that he is with you always.

Answer 9

dear Natalie,happy birthday.i am glad to know you.i want you to know that your dad is with you always.he wants you to know he is OK now,and that he is around you all the time.he says he loves you always and forever.he says to tell you not to be sad on your birthday because he will be there with you,he loves you so much Natalie so much.he is talking about a blue long sleeve shirt that he says you can wear when you miss him.my peace i give to you.

Answer 10

Awwww, sweety, i can't imagine what your going through. Just tell yourself that he IS here with you, you can't see him or sense him, but he IS there. He didn't leave on purpose, and you both wish he was there. I have this one icon that really did help me in the dark time your going through, yes it's and icon, but here's what it said: "God decided needed you, so from this world you left, but you took a piece of all of us, our hearts are what you kept. You left from this world, but not from our hearts and souls." I added that last part, i thought it might help.