Broken engagement - whose responsibility are wedding expenses?

Question

My engagement was recently broken off. I (the bride) paid for everything - including my own engagement ring. Should have been a clue right? Anyway, I would like to file a small claims suit against my ex for the lost deposits and other wedding related expenses on the grounds that being engaged is a contract to marry. He broke the engagement by ending the relationship and therefore should be responsible for the financial loss. I've been reading, and I'm not sure if this is legally binding. Has anyone had any experience with this?

Answer 1

I don't think there is a legal ground here. Many states have what is called "heart balm" statues which deny people the right to sue over broken engagement expenses. Try to sort this through out of court before you file. You two may be able to come to an agreement once he knows your intentions to file.

If you decide to sue, ask for half of the expenses incurred. You will have a better chance of getting that over the full amount.

If you live in a common law state, and lived together long enough by your state's laws, then you can file for a divorce settlement.

Your best bet would be to talk to a lawyer in your area. He/She can tell you what you are entitled to under your states laws. I wouldn't recommend trying to do this yourself with no legal assistance. You can even ask for him to pay your legal fees in court, that way you wouldn't loose money by taking him to court.

Answer 2

I believe that small-claims court is your best option.

Gather all your receipts, your payments, etc. and organize them well (this will impress the judge). Before you go to the courthouse, send the ex a certified letter outlining the expenses, provide copies of the receipts, and offer a payment plan (it will make you look even better in court - you offered to give him a payback plan). If he agrees to the terms, make him sign a contract outlining the payment plan (that way, if he agrees to pay and doesn't, you have an even better case).

If he does not agree to those terms, small claims court is usually inexpensive to start (both of mine were less than $50). They will send him a supeona, and a court date will be set.

The bottom line is he owes you money for the wedding expenses (not sure about the ring, but you can try).

The one thing that may be troublesome is if only you have signed the contracts (photography, caterers, etc.). But, even still, a wedding can't happen with just one person.

Another suggestion would be to do a search for "Free legal services." There are many companies who do offer legitimate legal council for free. You should call a couple attornys in your area and explain the situation and see what they recommend.

Go git the punk!!!

Answer 3

When I was getting married, we only had to pay downpayments or retainers to our vendors to hold services and then were asked for balance upon service rendered. Theoretically, the responsibility of wedding expenses is both the bride's and the groom's and nertz to tradition that says the bride's family pays - what a crock. Most are getting married later in life and should be financially able to pay for their own wedding.

There's usually some sort of cancellation fee, but you should be able to get out of the contracts as long as you give them enough of a notice.

I'd think you'd be entitled to ask your ex-fiance for half of whatever was lost because you were anticipating marriage and paid to secure services.

Talk to a lawyer first to find out what your rights really are and then go talk to the ex. You should have receipts and cancelled checks to prove amounts paid as well as signed contracts. If he's not forthcoming with his fair share of the money, you could probably take him to small claims court. But perhaps the amount isn't worth the hassle.

Answer 4

I think you are entitled to half the expenses, but as for experience...I watch a lot of court tv. I know for a fact that if he had bought the engagement he would get it back. Because yes an engagement is a contract to marry and is legally binding. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Weddings are expensive and there are still costs involved after a broken engagement. It's like if your breakup didn't hurt enough, here's the bill, ouch! I say definitely talk to a lawyer, your ex-fiance should be responsible for at least 1/2 of the expenses you can't get back due to deposits etc.. On a side note: I know of a guy being sued by his fiance for 1/2 of his business, house, car, etc... just like there were married and get this, she cheated on him! So if she can do this so can you and you deserve it more since you were not the cause of the breakup.

Answer 6

It's not legally binding, unless there was a contract for him to pay for half of the wedding expenses.

Being engaged IS a contract to marry in the eyes of god, but it's not a legally binding contract. "Since being engaged is a promise and not legally binding...." from http://www.thebridalexpo.com/bridal_expo_009.htm

Just because he SHOULD pay, doesn't mean he's legally binding to do so. I mean, a LOT of weddings are paid for by the bride's family anyway. That's old tradition. He could just say that's what the plan was. Who's to disagree with him, especially if you didn't have anything written down.

It sucks.

Just ask him nicely if he wouldn't mind helping you out financially to cover the costs.

If not, it's just a really crummy situation.

Answer 7

I am not sure if you have already cancelled everything- but if you have paid out money that is nonrefundable- try to use the space. For instance- if you have already paid for the room- ask the hall owners if you can reset the date to one that your whole family can enjoy for like a halloween, birthday, anniversary party sometime later that year. If it is for a dress- try to see can you transfer it to BUYING something from the store. For a tux- if you know a younger male in your family that will be going to prom see can he use that deposit to cover it.

I wouldnt get rid of the ring. It is yours and you bought it- no matter what the reason behind it- you wont get as much for it as you paid for it.

Caterer- use the money to host the party i mentioned above.

I dont think that you can sue him unless he had something in writing saying that he will pay for half of the expenses, but you can turn something bad into something good.

Recently, i saw on the news a bride who found out her fiance was cheating and so she called the wedding off not even a week before the wedding was supposed to happen. She turned around and invited people from all over to raise money for a local charity. They ate the food that was scheduled to come, danced and had a lovely time! She ended up raising about 20,000 i believe? but still- she would have just tossed it all away and instead she chose to help.

Answer 8

i am sorry to hear about your situation. you do indeed have a claim against your ex fiancee for the debts incurred with a view to getting married. you might not get all your money back, but probably half. an engagement is legally binding and in some cases enjoys greater protection legally than the marriage itself. seek a lawyers assistance.

Answer 9

You might possibly be able to get a judgement for up to half the expenses. However, if he doesn't pay you, you would have to go back to court. A lot of small claims cases never get paid. Also, there is usually a limit on the amount you can sue for.

Answer 10

I am sorry to hear about your situation. You will need to speak to a lawyer to see if you have a case. Was anything put in writing to the effect that he agreed to pay half? If not, chalk it up to a very expensive lesson. At least you found out now, and not several years down the road.

Best wishes.