This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Additional Details

26 minutes ago
And, yes, her mom likes me, she told me that she is encouraging her daughter to date me, she also said that it was really hard for her daughter to sent that email, but in the mean time, she is really flirty with this other guy.

Additional Details

3 hours ago
But it's weird, like sometimes she'll seem sad, cuz she wants to be with me, then shell go and be REALLy happy and flirty with this other guy, then shell come up and talk to me, like she misses me, and then shell go flirt with him, I'm just SO CONFUSED, please help.

3 hours ago
but i mean, the way she is around him, is the way she used to be around me, and its weird, cuz we dont talk nearly nearly as much as we used to, and its almost like shes sad, or missin that or sumthin, but then all over this other guy

Answer 1

Look... there's really only two ways about this.

You can either take what she says at face value and operate at that level. Or you can second-guess everything she does and says trying to add different meanings to everything that goes on and never ever be sure you are right.

Playing guessing games will only drive you crazy.

So let's look at what she has said. She said that if you're not spending as much time together as you'd like, then it's not because of you, but because she's been busy. That's a good thing. She also said that she thinks of you as a friend and does not want to spoil that friendship by attempting a romantic relationship. For your romantic purposes, that's a bad thing.

As for the flirting thing, I can understand how she might stop flirting with you if she believes you may have a romantic interest that she doesn't want to encourage. Before she knew that, she probably considered such flirtation to be harmless. Now she knows better and is sparing you from hurt. This is a good thing.

I think all you can do is be honest with her and assume she is being honest with you. If your interest in romance is enough to spoil your platonic relationship, you should tell her. I think she will choose to end the relationship altogether at that point... and perhaps so should you rather than try to take things where she doesn't want to go (it's better to end on a good note than a bad one).

On the other hand, if you can swallow your disappointment and continue to have a normal relationship, then go right ahead. Maybe someday she will change her mind about you. But I have to be honest with you... she probably won't. You may not be able to imagine not loving her like you do now, but you would be surprised at the changes time brings.

Still, if it's meant to be, then it will happen regardless. Anything worth having is worth waiting for!

Answer 2

I think with all that you are missing the point. She told you she wants to stay friends. Believe what she says and let it go--for now. Back off, for now she wants to be friends. Stay away from her Email for a while, find some other things to do. Be her friend, always her good friend, that way someday, or in the near future, it can change to more

But if you push, she will lose respect for you. Needy is a very ugly, unattractive thing to a girl and chases us right out the door.

Answer 3

I think she might be scared but she also might not wanna hurt you. Since she's never had a bf and you're a really close friend she might be scared that if you guys go out and things don't work out you won't be friends anymore. Just give her some time to think about it and if she takes too long just move on and be friends. Maybe in the end even if you move on in the meantime you guys might end up going out and maybe getting married.

Answer 4

ok first of all shes not your normal girl to ask out or go with . shes homeschooled and the things you take for granted during school like he said and she said dosent happen to her . shes a mommas little girl and wont go for the normal tactics that work on typical girls . she needs to be jolted into seeing you as serious and a date not a friend . try finding a good looking girl she dosent know and let her see you with her in a handholding type of way then see what this dose to her . if shes happy for you then just stay close and never push this issue and find yourself another gf and be thare when she finally comes around to earth and learns she really dose like you but dosent know how to go about it .point is better to be thare when she grows up than to cause problems and never get a shot . hang in thare she may date another but youll get her in the end just stay close to her and keep looking in those eyes . good luck

Answer 5

lok she is playing with your emotions here and that is not fair to you. I know how it feels trust me but you need to move on you bguys are freinds and she barlkey makes time for you now imagnine when you guys are going out , trust me the best thing is to get over her even though your heart tells you diffrent, at the end you will get hurt and it is not wrth it stop crying over her you desirve better she is only using you she has you like back up when no guy likes her she comes crawling back to you, I don't know her but you have to get over her and just be friends and thats all cuz she is playoing with your heart and that is not cool. tell her you want to be friends nothing elses another girl will come, when youmleast expect it she will be there, you still have your whole life ahead of you even though it does not seem that way . you will get over her like i had to get over someone. yeah it is hard but you can do it. oo another thing don't llok for another girl be patiene cuz the least thing a girl wants to be is a rebound! good luck

Answer 6

alll i have to say is you are so incredibly sweet you dont meet guys that care that much and i really mean care that much about a girl . i knwo you love her and i think she likes you right now she might love you deep down but isnt at that stage where she is ready to show it to you. i think she is flirting with those other guys to maybe show you that she really issnt ready for anything take a break from it and breathe. i wouldn't say let go of her but let her be for a little while dont stop being friends or whatever it is right now but let go whatever you want it to be for the time being. and let me just say she is one of the luckiest girls in the world to have a guy like you chasing after her, im very jealous! good luck!

Answer 7

I think that you must leave her if you love her that much. She doesn't want you as more than a friend. I know it hurts to hear that but thats what I believe is true. You can pose this question like me a hundred times until someone gives you the answer you want but the truth is she like you as a friend only. Move Along

Answer 8

whoooa, man... that....was a mindf--k hahaha. i mean no disrespect...it's just a LOT to take in, bro.. ok, one thing at a time...

- childhood friends
- parental approval
- attraction, connection, routine (night phone calls)
- hormones - yes, those little bastards will mess with you
- experimentation, 'playing the field'
- different schooling = different social interaction (hence, not having a bf before...)

...
i am not gonna suggest something that might or might not work... i just don't know what to tell ya, bro...

and may i ask, how DO you know what she says to her mom, unless her mom divulges her conversations with her daughter, to you...the same goes for her friends...?

teenage love is uber complicated...

at the least, i commend you for being true and honest to her!

anyone else wanna help me out?

Answer 9

well, she just wants to be friends...a guy friend of mine did a similiar thing to me: "Yeah, I understand a lot better now. Umm, I don't really know what I feel, so I think we should just be friends for a while and see how things bear out." We kind of grew apart after that, but I wish you and your friend the best of luck!

Answer 10

I think she likes you, but she is afraid of ruining a friendship that's been going on for eight years. I think you should continue being friends, and continue being there for her. If you two are meant to be, it will happen naturally.