My son just started kindergarden and this kid is beating him up!?

Question

like today he came home with a huge lump on his eye! from this kid punching him,and my son said the child slaped him. my son started the school year on the 5th and almost everyday he comes home with a new injury from the same student!: / when i was filling out his school info,i stated that i wanted to be contacted if he gets injured! the lump on his eye is a must contact me incident!!!! the teacher is clueless, at the end of the day she dosnt tell my son's father that this injury happend to him! its starting to piss me off,switching schools is out of the question : / but i wish he could! my mans idea is to have are son solve this problem with his fist.fight back, a tit for tat situation! i want him to use his words to solve it. ok in the morning im going to his class myself and laying into his teacher and that boys mother! this is comeing to an end! without being a bi%$h! what can i say to them? i have a temper,and im afraid im going to erupt on them. any advice?? ty all

my man is so busy he dosnt take the time to give an inspection to see if this kid beat him up that day. : / he came up crying silently in his room when i came in,he asked with tears in his eyes; "mom why dont that kid like me?" that cut meto the bone to think his feelings are hurt over this : [ as well as his self asteam.

this is KINDERGARDEN! what in the world is wrong with parents? why are so many kids at a young age so violet? their baby's its not a yelling match or a shove,my son is getting punch and the kid last week threw a bike at his head!!!!!! im about to whoop his mothers a@@ lol jk but i want to! and his teacher...well if she cant keep my son safe she dont deserve her job!

Answer 1

The kid is in kindergarten! How can he solve anything with words???? He's 5. He doesn't have negotiating skills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's your responsibility to make sure your kid is safe. Get your butt down there and make the teacher, the principal and the kids parents get on the same page. Use your temper for god's sake. This is YOUR BABY.
You're a good mom. Don't wuss out on your kid.

Answer 2

I am going to try and give you advice from the other side of the situation. I have 4 children and my youngest son is 8. Last year, I had to have a meeting with the principal, teacher, guidance counselor, ex-hubby and his wife because my son was getting in trouble for fighting.

I too have a temper when it comes to my kids. So, this is what I suggest. I would not go off on this kids mom, nor would I encourage your son to fight back. Not just yet. You never know what this kids home life could be like that is causing him to act out with violence. This could be "normal" for him. If this is the case, you are liable to have a mom who thinks the same way, and will defend her son to you. This will only cause you to become more angry, and will not solve the situation.

What I would do is contact the school and request to have a meeting with the principal, guidance counselor, teacher, and the other child's parent and then go off on ALL of them. I would let them know that this is completely unacceptable for them to allow this to continue. Ask if you can have your son switched to a different kindergarten class if need be. Tell them that they HAVE TO inform you when these incidents occur. If they do not, and do not put a stop to the situation, they could have some legal issues on their hands. (yes, allowing battery and harassment in kindergarten can also be handled through the law.)

I hope that this helps you. If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me and I will see if I can help.

Answer 3

You should contact the principal or assistant principal first. That way the teacher cannot get away with not telling them about the situation. One of the principals should then ask the teacher to bring the student to the office. They will be put on the spot, but they will also be protected from your temper. There is a possibility that the teacher is not aware of when your child is getting hurt. It may be happening in the cafeteria or at a specials class such as art or PE.
Make sure that your son knows that he must report the injury as soon as it happens. Kids really cannot remember what happens from one hour to the next. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Address your concern with the teacher.

Tell her she has no more excuses or chances regarding the protection of your child.

Tell her that if your son comes home with an unexplained bump, bruise, etc., and he reports this bully did it, then you will hold her responsible by going to the Principal and School Board.

Right after you leave the teacher go to the Principal.
Tell her/him what you told the teacher.
Tell her/him you expect your child to learn in a safe environment, and if she/he cannot provide that you will go to the newspaper and School Board.

If you child comes home with another injury, take him to the Emergency Room and have them document the injury. They can bill the Board of Education since the injury occurred while your child was in their custody. If the Emergency Room refuses to see your child and bill the School Board, ask them to call the police/sheriff and have them send someone to the ER right then. File a report with the police/sheriff regarding the abuse your child is receiving in his school and that you want it documented.

My 5-year-old daughter was made to stand in time out one day. I agree with time out, etc. She tried to tell the teacher there were ants biting her but the teacher told her to "shut up and be quiet and just stand there." My daughter did, she came home with 30 ant bite welts on her legs and buttocks, and the next morning I showed the Principal and told him the Dirctor of the School Board was my next stop. And it was. And my daughter never attended that school again.

Some simple rules:

1. keep a cool head and NEVER threaten anyone: NEVER! EVER!

In most jurisdictions, threatening to do property damage or bodily harm is cause for arrest.

2. give the school one opportunity to correct this problem

3. keep the law on your side

4. document everything and involve the Press if necessary.

Answer 5

Hey there my son just started school to and just like you I have a temper problem my advice is to go to the school talk to the teacher let her know that you filled out a paper stating you wanted to be notified if anything happen to your child if you still have a copy show it to her point out all the times you were not notified and let her know her negligence could cost the school a huge negligence suit if something else happens to your baby and as for the mama tell her you are trying to keep it holy but if she don't gain some control of her baby the situation can get ugly and make sure to tell her thats keepin it nice

Answer 6

In my kids school fighting back is not a good idea. They now have a police officer come to the school and issue tickets to both parties. And you know who gets to pay for that. What you need to do is lay into the principal of the school. He or She is suppose to be the one who takes care of these matters. If I was you I wouldn't go up there wanting to be nice. I would be mad as hell also! Thats BS when a bully is allowed to terrorize the school ground. Now your boy may run into this kid off the school ground. Then he might need to learn to fight back! A punch in the nose is all some dumb @$$ people understand. Good Luck!

Answer 7

I think your husband is correct, but that's a guy thing. One problem with your approach is that it is adversarial from the start. You have every right to be mad, but making enemies of the women who's help you need is not a good idea. You should open the discussion in a way that makes the teacher and other mother think of the three of you as a team trying to correct this problem together. That way you won't get quite as many denials of the facts and can start on solutions earlier. Maybe start with a variation of "I don't think that you're aware of this, but my son has been getting assaulted by another child."

Answer 8

If it were my child, I wouldn't tolerate it. First, I'll contact the child's parent and the kindergarten teacher. I'll let them know what's going on. If that fails, I'll take it to the principals and make sure I bring some evidence of what hasn't been done by the teacher and/or parents of the bully. Next, if that fails, I'll have to find out what kind of legal action can be taken. If that doesn't work, I'll give my son a few lessons in kick boxing to whoop that kids a-- while I beat the hell out of the bully's dad.

Throughout this, though I'd encourage my child to avoid violence as much as possible. Don't stoop to that obviously unchecked child's level. There is a limit to how much someone, ESPECIALLY a small child should take. I'd say, the minute I see the welt on your child's eye, I would have found out the parents of the child and attempt to engage in some dialogue over this -- preferably stern and civil. Your child is coming to you for help, because he is feeling helpless. My heart goes out to him. It is not easy to come out against a bully, at so young. Let him know how brave he is for standing up for himself. Encourage him to talk it out and become more open about situations like this. Help him to conquer his fears.

Answer 9

What a terrible environment for your son. He is likely to end up hating school, due to this, and you do not want that to happen. First you need to document all of your son's injuries. Has he had to be taken to the Dr. or hospital for his injuries? When you get to the school in the morning, ask to speak to the principle. She/He is responsible for the safety of all the children attending the school. If there is a parent advocate in the school get them to. Inform them that this hostility towards your son has to stop NOW. The school can be held legally responsible for the injuries to your son, if they do not want to do anything, contact your local police department, and Child Protectives Office. They should also be able to help.
With all of these people involved the violence against your son should stop. Also, contact a lawyer to see if you can sue the school district. This has happened locally, 1 resulting in a young girl being stabbed to death getting off her school bus in front of her school. Good luck, and God Bless.

Answer 10

First, talk to the teacher. It's her responsibility to look after the kids, and she should take some action to prevent them beating each other up. And, as you said, she needs to notify you if your kid is injured at school.

If, after talking to the teacher, your son continues to come home with new injuries, the next step is to go to the principle. Tell her that your son is being beaten up on a daily basis and his teacher as refused to take action. When it comes down to it, if the school is aware that another student is abusing your son, and he's seriously injured because the school failed to take action to protect him, you can sue the school. You might to well to calmly point that out to the principle if she doesn't take action to stop the fighting.

When you talk to your son's teacher, and potentially the principle, it's important that you stay calm. You're clearly upset about this, and you're entitled to be, but don't let it show when you're dealing with the school. If you come in furious at them, they'll respond with hostility. They'll also tend to dismiss your (legitimate) complaints as the delusions of an over-protective mother. But if you approach the situation calmly, and agree to work with them on it rather than just demanding they fix it, you'll get much better results. Yes, they should fix it for you and your son, but if you demand that's what they do, it's not going to happen.

Don't insist that your son is just an innocent victim of the other boy. While this may be an accurate assessment of the situation, remember that you only have one side of the story. And, more importantly, the teacher and administrators know you only have one side of the story. Rather, present it as whatever is going on between this boy and your son needs to be dealt with, whether it's that this boy is beating up your son for no reason, or your son is harassing him until he hurts him (I'm not saying that this is the case, just that, while you don't have to believe it yourself, don't tell the teacher or principle you're not willing to even consider this could be the case).

If talking to the teacher and the principle fail, file a police report. The school is legally responsible for your son's safety while he's at school. Accidents happen, and you can't sue the school because your kid fell of the swing, but if they are aware that he's being injured on a regular basis and fail to prevent injury, that's child abuse.

Do NOT tell your son to hit the other boy. The school doesn't care who started it, and if your son is beating up on the other boy as well you're in no position to argue that action be taken only against the other child.

Do NOT approach the parents of the other child. When a kid, especially such a young child, is beating up his peers, it almost always means there's something wrong at home. Most often it's because he's being abused at home, but there are various other reasons as well. But whatever it is, you do NOT want to be involved with that. If nothing else, if the other boy's parents feel you're threatening them or questioning their parenting, they may well speak poorly of your son to their boy, which would only exacerbate the problems at school.

Finally, a five year old is too young to truly be held accountable for his actions. You absolutely can and should do what's necessary to keep your son safe, but try to remember that this other boy is most likely a victim himself, and, if you can, try to fight for a solution that involves him getting counseling rather than just punishment.