Are there really 50 ways to leave your lover? I can only think of about about 10?

Question

Do you think Paul Simon would've added 'by text and e-mail' if he'd written it today?

Answer 1

1) Leave them for a younger woman
2) Leave them for an older woman
3) Leave them for a younger man
4) Leave them for an older man
5) Leave for a younger transexual
6) Leave them for an older transexual
7) Drive them to Wales and leave them there.
8) Leave them for a younger dog
9) Leave them for an older dog
10) Leave them by telephone
11) Leave them by Railway
12) Leave them by Trailway
13) Leave them by Airplane
14) Leave them with your mind
15) Leave them by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
16) Don't care how you leave them, just leave them if you can
17) Leave them for a younger horse
18) Leave them for an older horse
19) Leave them for a blow-up dolly
20) Deliberately let them catch you with the blow-up dolly
21) When making love, suggest blow-up dolly joins in
22) When making love, suggest older horse joins in
23) When they say they have a headache, start offering them money
24) When they say they have a headache, phone their mother and offer her money
25) Leave them a note on the breakfast table
26) Leave them a note by carrier pigeon
27) Leave them a note by an older horse
28) Leave them a note on your blow-up dolly
29) Take a stamp collecting (this really works)
30) Grow a bad moustache, wear a top hat and tie them to the railway tracks
31) Before making love insist on growing a bad moustache, wearing a top hat and tieing your blow-up dolly to the railway tracks
32) Try to sell them on e-bay
33) Become an obsessive Trekkie
34) Next time they wear a new outfit and ask if they look 'OK', scream and run away.
35) Successfully sell them on e-bay
36) Make a new will. Tell them you've left everything to a blow-up dolly.
37) Get caught being ridden by older horse.
38) Ask their parents over for a wife swapping party. Don't invite anyone else.
39) Ask your parents over for a wife swapping party. Don't invite anyone else.
40) File for divorce
41) When their friends are coming over. Leave porn and sex toys lieing around the house
42) When having dinner party, invite older horse
43) When having dinner party, invite blow-up dolly
44) When having dinner party, ride older horse in dining room
45) When having dinner party, ride blow-up dolly in dining room
46) Set fire to them
47) Go on now go
48) Walk out the door
49) Just turn around now, cause your not welcome anymore
50) They will survive. They will survive.
51) By text
52) By e-mail

Answer 2

I hold my hands up to cheating on this one, but I saw this on Answers a while ago, so here's some of the suggestions:

Get a disease, Louise
Call her a b****, Mitch
Steal her money, honey
Poison her food, Dude
Move to Iran, Dan
Sleep with her mom, Tom
Tell her she reeks, Zeke
Get up and go, Joe
Commit suicide, Clyde
Don't brush your teeth, Heath
Domestic abuse, Bruce
Hire a thug, Doug
Give her a goodbye f uck, Chuck
Smack her in the head, Ted
Poke her in the eye, Si
Blow a big fart, Bart
Tell her she's fat, Matt
Make her swallow a pill, Bill
Call her a dyke, Mike
Just move away, Jay
Hand her a bomb, Tom
Take her for a long ride out into the desert, drop her off, and tell, her I hope I never see you're ugly *** again, Ben

Answer 3

There are numerous forms of transport which could take you away from your lover, inlcuding a significant number of beasts of burden. The yak I would find considerably satisfying if your lover was one for talking. The elephant if it was the mother in law causing the problems and perhaps the most surreal of them all; hanging on to the chin of Bruce Fosythe whilst he performs an intiricate meringue past the studio audience where your lover is currently seated, having procured two tickets for the latest offing of 'Strictly Come Dancing'.

Not that I'm planning anything of the sort....

Answer 4

lol...
I think there are between 25 and 35 ways to leave your lover. And of course Paul Simon would have added "by text and email." He would have probably myspaced it too.

Answer 5

Are you and Pob going through a difficult patch?

Answer 6

i could easily think of 50...and of course test and email would have been added!

Answer 7

I only came here to learn of the other nine.

Answer 8

Not today he wouldn't have he is far too spiritual now to bother which such trifle's

Answer 9

shotgun, sniper rifle, crossbow, pistol, flamethrower, hand grenade, semtex, chainsaw, uzi, nailgun, baseball bat, tazer, cut brake pipes... actually there's loads and I'm still here.

Answer 10

he'd have to add restraining order too... not that I know... I'm just saying