I am a 18 year old female and i have never had any problem in attracting men(im sorry i aint being big headed im just trying to be honest) but the problem is that i meet a nice lad and we get on well and we grow close and i get to like him and he tells me that he likes me but after a while he will suddenly lose intrest and i just end up getting hurt.You would have thought that i would have learned my lesson because it happens every time with different men but i dont! is it me? what am i doing wrong? what should i do?
your advice would bemuch appericated thank you leanne
2006-09-18 11:22:38 · 33 answers · asked by leejaydahl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What are you doing with these men? Are you only attracted to pretty boys or are you looking for someone with any kind of depth to them? Does your conversation put them off? Do you speak only of yourself? Do you insist on always being right? I don't know you so maybe you should ask a friend to be brutally honest with you and see if you are giving out the wrong signals. If they give constructive criticism don't get angry see what you can do to work on any faults they may find with you.
2006-09-18 11:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Don't have much advice but maybe a couple of things to think about. Do you get any sign when the guy is about to split? Second, remember that, if you are going out with guys about your age, they aren't really "men" yet. The male brain doesn't develop completely for a number of years in many, many cases. Third, is there something that changes between the two of you? My supposition is that they guy is changing his behavior and you don't catch it. That may be because guys are good at "lying" (they don't think of it as that, but that's what it is when the stay in a relationship for something other than legitimate purposes, if you get the drift. Fourth, and at last, the end, there is a reason some of us old folks suggest going slowly into relationships and letting them develop over time. "Hurry" and "good choices in partners" don't go well together in the same sentence. Always look (read SEARCH with a magnifying glass) for deal breakers.
2006-09-18 11:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a jealous friend that is trying to destroy you?
It sounds like you may be giving them too much up front. Try to give them benefits in stages (first base, second base, third...) and that will keep him interested for the long haul.
If you're only 18 - things will get better with time. Men get more mature with age and will be interested in more than just sex and making out. Just hang in there - I know it's a pain in the a$s.
2006-09-18 11:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no way through this limited information, we can know what you are doing wrong, if anything.
Could be your are going after the wrong kind of men. Maybe they are not getting bored - maybe they are settling into the relationship and you are expecting the relationship to frantic and new.
Have you asked any of these guys after a long period of time? Or maybe have someone you trust ask one of them?
2006-09-18 11:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all go thru the bad relationships to get to the good and i believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe you can try to look in the the life lessons that are going infront of you...its not you trust me...but everyone can use improvements in thier lives it just depends on what you see in your life that you would like to improve and go for it...i would also sugest taking the relationship slow...what im doing in my life right now is dating getting to know other ppl and making my decision after getting to know them for a month or so wither or not i really want them to be a part of my life...its working so far and im getting to know alot of great guys and also getting rid of the guys who cause me some pain because im looking for someone who make me feel better about me...even though i do feel good about my self too....
2006-09-18 11:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by mytedominatrix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there anyway you can ask any of those guys from the past about it? Let them know ahead of time it is in no way to get back with them; just so that you can learn. Or go to Dr. Phil's website - I bet he has great advice.
One more piece of advice - you are 18!! Don't worry sweetie!!!!!! Take your time and don't rush into serious relationships!!!!!! THIS IS YOUR TIME!!
2006-09-18 11:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bellina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you choose the wrong men for the wrong reason. You probably sleep with them and then they cast you aside when they become bored with the sex. You need to make yourself over, sweetie.....go to the bookstore and get some books in the self-help section!
2006-09-18 11:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing on my plate in life that I didn't put or allow to be put there.
Usually the door-mat feeling comes from allowing some situation to occur, as people can hurt you only if you let them.
The key to avoiding this is to learn to recognize your internal warning signs that you are in the frame of mind to allow yourself to be taken advantage of.
Simply put, you can't be a door mat if you don't lie down.
2006-09-18 11:28:33 · answer #8 · answered by superfastmoto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I am about to write here is very important and may at first
seem like it makes no sense.None the less, it is very simple and very deep.Most people will spend an entire lifetime not understanding it (including me!) and here it is:
NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT
YOUR PERMISSION
Good luck to you!.
2006-09-18 11:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mark K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you said that you don't have a problem with pullin them.
Maybe it's your body that they are after.
Don't wear revealing type of clothing.
That way you'll know when the next man approach you.
If he's interested in you or your body.
2006-09-18 11:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by Shantel J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋