Does anyone thing grandparents raising their grandkids is a bad idea?

Question

I understand if the child's parent(s) are overseas, having a medical problem, or have died but other than that I'm not sure. Personally, I feel that my mother raised me and that this is HER time. I wouldn't want her to raise mine. Just opinions on this.

That was supossed to say think....sorry.

The reason I ask, my cousin is 18 and has a 9 month old. He goes to concerts, parties, and hangs out with his buddies all day while his grandparents raise his baby (his grandparents raised him as well). He does all these things while working at a grocery store. I won't say anything to his grandma but sometimes it seems like it's her own fault for the way he's turned out.

This is weird but you may understand it. He is actually my second cousin but he's only 2 years younger than me. His mom had him when she was 15 and his grandparents ended up raising him. He and his ex girlfriend just broke up a few week ago and the baby is theirs. Its actually the baby's grandparents raising it. To me it seems like a cycle that keeps repeating.

Answer 1

Grandparents can LOVE their grandchildren, but unless something terrible has happened to the parents, it is the PARENTS' obligation to raise their children. You HAVE 'em, you RAISE 'em. 'Nuff said?

Answer 2

My parents were 47 and 50 when they had me. Old enough to be my grandparents...I think that it was a great thing that they raised me. If they didn't I would be the person I am today nor have the morals i hold. i love my parents more than anything, and even though they say grandparents...or older gaurdians let them get away with a lot more thats not always the case. it's not that grandparents in general are bad gaurdians it's the person who is the grandmother or grandfater and what their morals are.

Answer 3

If the parents aren't fit to raise their children and the court takes them away and their grandparents are willing to do it are you saying they shouldn't? They should go into foster care? I think raising grandchildren is hard on the grandparents but I think foster care is hard on the kids. If the grandparents are willing to take on that responsibility then I think it's so much better than bouncing around from one foster family to another. I'm not saying anything against foster parents. I know a few couples who do it and God bless them. They do a wonderful job, but the way the program is set up, they aren't allowed to keep them until they're grown. They're shuffled around here and there with no sense of security or belonging.

Answer 4

It would depend on the situation, and what kind of people the parents and the grandparents are.

My mom was a single mom and... let's just say she wasn't/isn't really good mother material.

I am grateful that my grandparents raised me. They gave me the love and care that my mom wasn't able to give, and taught me good values.

If I had been given a choice, I would still have chosen my grandparents. I feel that getting 'bad' care from parents is less preferable than getting 'good' care from someone else.

As to why my mom turned out the way she is under their care, maybe my grandparents were different people when they raised her, maybe they just learned from their mistakes? Or maybe my mom was born that way? I don't really know.

Answer 5

It probably depends on the parents too. I know that my son's grandparents want nothing more than to spoil him which I don't think is what's best for him. They're constantly trying to feed him stuff he can't eat yet like cake (he's only 9 months). I think there's something that happens to parents when they become grandparents that makes them do dumb things. Maybe it would be different if they had to permanently raise the kids because then they would have to deal with the reprecautions as well.

Answer 6

For some reason where I live this happens a lot. Also my cousins were raised by their grandparents because their parents didn't want them. I think it is really sad. Sometimes its either the grandparents or a foster home.

Answer 7

It is not the best way but usually if the grandparents have the children , there is a reason for it. I would rather see a child go to their grandparents than to a foster home or worse. Some foster homes are great but there is no ideal setup like a child with his own parents.

Answer 8

It's a very bad idea when the parents are otherwise fully capable of caring for them on their own. I have this issue with my sister. My mom has basically raised both her daughters and now my sister resents that they prefer to be with my mom than her. When I told my mom I was pregnant, instead of being happy for me or some other warm response she said to me "well you're going to have to raise them yourself" as if she expected me to do the same! I was offended but I guess I understand why she said that to me. So unless there is a very real necessity for that kind of arrangement, it does nothing but confuse the kids and leave parents and grandparents resenting one another.

Answer 9

If they had unstable parents or something then it would be a good idea for the grandparents to take over. But if the parent is totally capable of taking care of their own child then why involve another enviroment such as grandparents? But its always good for children to have a positive influence from their grandparents.

Answer 10

I think it's a horrible idea! My Aunt and Uncle were raising my second cousin (their grandson) because my first cousin (their child) didn't feel like raising him and preferred to do cocaine instead of being a mature and responsible parent. Now that my aunt and uncle have grown tired of it and my grandmother has had a stroke. I have custody of my second cousin. I don't know if that makes since--probably not--which is the point.

Grandparents raising their grandchildren is not a good idea!

Answer 11

It depends on the sitution as you said! But I do now I would rather my children be raised by GrandParents Then Strangers,In most cases you know your children are gona be Loved and Safer With your Grandparents our even He,s for that Matter! Hollywood!