Hi All this may sound very strange but i have serious concerns about my uncle?

Question

I know i posted something similar before i just felt that the answers i got lacked more information so heres the total scenario, i am 19 from england, liverpool specifically because of my parents divorce i was sent to live with my grandparents from 9mths of age, and my uncle lives with us now i left home last year to go to uni mainly because of my uncle, and his treatment of me for example he doesn't like people in the house a friend of my sisters came round once for dinner and he said "i don't like people in my house when i'm trying to relax" he also believes the whole world is against him for example he has a bad tooth and loudly proclaims on a regular basis that "I BEGRUDGE PEOPLE GOOD TEETH BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY" until i was a teenager he treated me better than my sisters now because i resented this he treats me the same if not worse for example he bought my sisters christmas presents from the pound shop one year, yet my grandparents constantly defend and him for his actions

Hes 42 never had a girlfriend , never leaves the house drinks beer all night, has set meals each, night threatens me with violence for stuff like using the shower at his time, and has compared me to my dad who violently beat my mother, and my grandparents always come and have a go at me straight after he does like reccently i was going to bed and got accused of muttering and had a big fight with him and then my nan came and called me a bully a liar and nasty, he once said he can hurt me in ways which don't leave evidence and that my grandparents would lie for him...if i called the police i'm stuck here for a few more weeks and feel very alone any one give me any advice

my sisters live with my mother both are older than me and have jobs. they try to help when possible

i left home last summer and just home for the holidays

Answer 1

I told you he is mentally ill and it has been shown he is also very violent, you need to get out and take your sisters with you. He could be abusing them in a different way. Your grandparents are no help so report them too.

Answer 2

He is mentaly ill and either your grandparents dont want to admit it or know the reasons why and feel guilty. How old is your sister? She cant be made to live in a house with this man if she is younger than you. If she is older you could move out and share a place together. If this isnt at all possible you need to bring in a nuetral party, someone your grandparents will respect(maybe a family friend) to see this going on and to have a firm word with them. There are ways out, if you would like to email me i can try help you more. I'm a person who moved out at 18 to get away from a guy just like this.

Answer 3

You MUST have at least ONE FRIEND that you can stay with. If you explain the situation and ask to just sleep on someones couch, you will save yourself a world of worry and possibly real risk.

The fact that your grandparents DEFEND your uncle suggests that they know he has problems but will go to great lengths not to admit it. What this translates to for you is that you will not get any help from them.

The main point here is that you need to find somewhere else to stay. I'm assuming you don't have money to stay in a hotel, hence suggesting that you ask a friend. If you truly have no-one to stay with, try looking for a hostel.

As long as your grandparents are willing to defend your uncle, YOU CANNOT HELP HIM. You must leave and let them deal with their son. Although you have been with them for a long time, you are not their child and they obviously see you as aggravating your uncle and causing problems even when, in reality, you have done nothing wrong. Why do you think your uncle is the way he is? Having parents that dote on him (they must! 42, lives at home? They dote) and allow him to behave like a sulky teenager has added to (if not caused) his problems.

If you where younger I would suggest calling child services for help; however, as you are 19 your main priority is TO GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE.

Answer 4

Hi There, I am leaning towards Bobo's answer to be honest. Can you not just the hell outta dodge? Surely you have some friend or even a neighbour you can crash with until you've gotta go back to uni.
I'd say your uncle is a no hoper & that you should stay away for your own sake. May be he does have a mental problem of some sort but honestly I wouldn't hang around to find out.

Say cheers to your grandparents for putting the roof over your head, ring your mam tell her you'll be visiting on the hol's and just get outta dodge while you still can.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

This man has mental health issues. You should be able to phone your local mental health Dept and ask some questions. He may have a history that you don't know about. If you don't want to do that, all I can suggest is keeping your head down until it is safe for you to leave for good, then RUN!!! Don't end up as one of the silent abused, Babe! The big, wide world is better than what you're are going through. I know because I've been where you are. It's hard to leave, but life WILL get harder if you stay. Don't let him take your life, just because he's cared for you. You never asked him to. Good Luck. xxx

Answer 6

I think ur uncle is resentful of you because of ur youth, ur relationship with ur grandparents and the fact that ur goin to uni, it sound like he's never had any of these things, hes probaly never felt love and never been married so therefore cant cope with the fact that you were probaly happy and contented before he came along
now he's spoiled all that for you, you grand parents are most likely afraid of him and your just a typical mouthy teenager to them, id say they will always over rule you now he's there, sont blame them,blame him, and his lack of understanding and just let him be miserble
id stay out of his way until ur ready to move to Uni, no point in gettin more greif b 4 u go, its hard but ur startin a new life now dont let this old fart spoil ur new start
its a pity bout ur grand parents but theres not much u can do, keep ur chin up!

good luck hun

Answer 7

from this i feel that ur uncle could be very bitter towards u, prob because that he feels insecure about ur relationship with ur grandparents! and the fact that he could have a mental health issue! ur only 19, and i would stop going back there, u dont need this example of a male figure in ur life! sounds like u could be better of with ur sisters!

i really feel for u, on this situation. it cant be easy. i would seriously considre not going back...

good luck with uni, and the rest of ur life, lead by ur own example and keep ur thoughts happy!

Answer 8

You must get out,go anywhere,but just get out of that situation you are in-even a b&b would be preferable to where you are and what you are going through.You are 19,there ARE places out there for young people now,the whole world is geared towards young people and their circumstances(good or bad)so even if it is only a temporary measure,you must get out of the hostile environment you are in.Staying in this confrontational situation will not do your sanity any good what-so-ever(another messed up teen of the next generation)GET OUT.Best of..

Answer 9

Honey you sound soooooo unhappy. I really hope you and your sisters can find some strength with each other and leave this dreadfully bitter man. Clearly he does have a mental illness of some description and a definite persecution complex, all of which is extremely unhealthy. Im so sorry for your difficulties, I really hope you can find a way out xx

Answer 10

He does sound a bit odd. Theres oviously a mental problem going on that his parents know about and is kept from others. Thats why he lives with them, sort of care in the community.