My fiancee is in the middle of a divorce and we have a child together. I live with my mother, and he is over here at the house with me to spend time with me and the kids. I understand that it is biblically incorrect to be with a married man. He has been a good friend for a long time. My mother dislikes him for many reasons, it is not just because he is married. I understand that it is her house and I have to respect her wishes. She does not want him in the house, or even to sit outside on the porch. I have let him in the house when it has rained and when he has had to use the bathroom. I have cooked him dinner and trying to do my best to take care of him. The problem lies with the fact that my mother tells me that is wrong to try and help him out and take care of him. It is not biblical. I was told that you are to treat everyone as Jesus would. My mother says that he is not allowed in the house because he is married and because he is a sinner with spirits. Is this wrong?
2006-09-18 10:04:18 · 20 answers · asked by busyliz 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It is your Mothers house.
I am wondering why you don't visit at his home. This would be a solution that would hold conflicts down.
Blessings )O(
2006-09-18 10:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Epona Willow 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, let's leave the christian/bible stuff out of it, and look at the facts.
He's married. He says he's getting a divorce. You have a child. You live with your mother. You mother doesn't want him in the house.
Go somewhere else when you want to visit. Go to a park, if he can't go to his place. Which brings up the question - where does he live? Is he still with the ex? If he is, why? Do you have a ring? Is he really getting divorced, or is he stringing you along?
You need to take a good look at this man and examine his intentions. He sounds a little fishy to me.
But seriously, you have to respect your mother's decision about her home. After you're married is when you need to really work on her and getting her to accept him as your husband.
Oh yeah, and he's a grown man, right? He can take care of his own self. Is he crippled in some way that you need to take care of him?
2006-09-18 17:25:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a Christian, you are supposed to love everyone, and help everyone, so your Mom sounds a bit old fashioned. What exactly is a sinner with spirits? Everyone is a sinner, including your mother. If it's becoming a problem, and you want to be with him. Move out of your mothers house. Where does he live? If your going to get married anyways, why not get a place now. It will save problems in the long run.
2006-09-18 17:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mother is of sound character then you should listen to her.
She probably doesn't want to see you get used.
Also, since he is going through a divorce he really needs to be handling his own problems himself for the following reasons:
1. He can't blame you later for the things that go wrong in his life.
2. If you make it too easy for him he will take you for granted.
3. He hasn't divorced yet. If he knows he can take the easy way out and be with someone else then he has no incentive to try to make his marriage work.
4. What God has brought together let no man (or woman) put apart.
He has to stand on his own two feet if he is going to be a good husband for anyone (including you) and I know you don't want the guilt on your shoulders of wondering if you contributed to his divorce.
2006-09-18 17:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by sworddove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong. You are helping him commit adultery. Wipe your hands of this man and be done with him. He is cheating on his wife and probably cheating on you too. You failed to mention if this man had any children with his WIFE. If you are so madly in love with him, at least wait until the guy is legally Divorced. And not to mention, this is your Mommas house. Get out and find a place of your own and then you wouldn't have to worry about what Momma thinks. But in the mean time it is Mommas house and she deserves nothing but respect. I'm sorry if I sound rude or harsh, but my daughter was in some what the same boat, and come to find out, he was no good. Had us all fooled. Once a cheat always a cheat, unless they can repent and mean it.
2006-09-18 17:29:33 · answer #5 · answered by GraycieLee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is "forgiveness." Your mom needs to forgive him, just as Jesus forgives us. None of us are perfect. Your boyfriend needs to repent (turn away from his sinful nature) and marry you after his divorce is final, this is for certain. Then you both need to get in a good church to help you both grow near to the Lord and try (I said try) to live a godly life. You both need to get your own place too, away from your mom. Your mom should let him spend time with you and the kids until you both can marry and move out - that would be the best option. God bless you and I hope it works out for you both.
2006-09-18 17:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by jworks79604 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering that you have a child together he has the right to visit his child. It is a difficult situation because it is your mother house and you can't change her views. Is it possible for you to meet else where? Is he divorcing to live with you? I don't think its the best relationship for you but you are the only one who can answer if it's wrong or not.
2006-09-18 17:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by c_t_5_2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a child with him, you are not letting him in just to help him out. If you have a child why are you still living with your mom anyway? If she is still putting up with you even though you are an admitted adultress, and going against her wishes, you aren't letting him because you are trying to treat him as Jesus would. Jesus would tell him to go back to his wife, take care of his kids, and quit fooling around with a woman like you. And he would tell you to quit messing with a married man, and honor your mother, and keep your knees together until you find your own husband!.
2006-09-18 17:12:39 · answer #8 · answered by Grandma Susie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you are a woman, you should probably not mess around with a married man. So, I would listen to your mother. Even though the spirits think is a little nutty. She is still right and you should still obey your mom
2006-09-18 17:09:45 · answer #9 · answered by blizgamer333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see.
You are having sex with a married man and don't understand why your Christian mother disapproves?
Your Mother isn't being disrespectful of HIM, He is being disrespectful of HER....and of YOU for that matter.
He has a home, he doesn't need "taken care of" by you.
You are trying to justify seeing a married man and it just won't fly.
It is wrong, even if you aren't a Christian, He has a family, send him home
2006-09-18 17:18:19 · answer #10 · answered by kenny p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spiritually that is what you believe so i will leave that to you to work out. however, your mother does have every right to allow or not allow a certian peson on her property. becuase you are living with your mother i would respect the wishes of your mother and either not allow this man on her property or leave your mothers house and be with this man.
2006-09-18 17:09:17 · answer #11 · answered by NaNuk_911 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋