2006-09-18 09:43:11 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
if all you say in court is "i dunno"...
if your uncle invites you over to his new house to take the wheels off...
If you think a quarter horse is the ride outside of K-mart...
You might be a redneck.
2006-09-18 12:32:39 · answer #1 · answered by themacncheesepunk 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two rednecks are out driving around drinking beer. A short time later they are pulled over by the local sheriff. The driver pulls over and tells his passenger to not say a word but do as he does. He peels the label off of his bottle and places it on his forehead. When the sheriff approaches, he asks the driver if he as has been drinking and the driver replies, "Why no sir, I don't drink anymore. I'm on the patch."
2006-09-18 17:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by Stripped 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not a redneck Joke...But it is super funny
There was a guy drive down to road and all of a sudden he starts to hear some sirens.
He pulls over and the cop goes up to the drives window and as the guy is rolling down his window the cop says do you know how fast you were going and asks for his Drivers lisence
The guy replies..' I don't have my drivers lisence, I lost it 2 mounths ago for have 3 DUI's'
The cops say, 'May I see the Certificate of ownership?'
The guy say ' Oh, this isn't my car, I stole it After I killed the owner and stuffed him in the trunk of the car' Then he opens up the glove box and says 'But it might be some where in here under my gun.'
The cop looks at him and immedatly pulls his gun and says get out of the car now!
The guy calmly gets out of the car and walks to the side.
As the officer, hand cuffs him he begins to call in reinforcements.
One hour later the the whole police station comes as the shreiff comes up to the guy, he says 'May I see your drivers licesence, the guys says 'Sure' and pulls out his drivers licesence and shows it to the sheriff
Then he asks for proof of Ownership, and he pulls out the paper-- and sure enough, it is HIS car
The Sheriff says 'Hmm. May I see in the glove box'
The guys says 'Sure, go ahead, I have nothing to hide.'
The sheriff Opens the glove box and see that there is no gun anywhere.
'Well Okay, May I look in the trunk' Says the Sheriff
'Once again...I have Nothing to hide.' Sya the guys
So the sheriff slowly open the trunk and there is nothing there
'Okay...you can go now.' Say the sheriff as he uncuff the guy-- The guy Drives off say 'Now THATS how you get out of a speeding ticket'
Funny Huh? I thought so
Enjoy!
2006-09-18 21:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by Some one Special 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might be a redneck if you wear a tank top for a family portrait.
2006-09-18 18:17:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be a redneck if...
...you mowed your lawn and found a car!
...your wife's hairdo got destroyed by a ceiling fan!
...all your applicances are on the front porch!
...you get pulled over and the cop asks you for your ID and you show him your belt buckle!
2006-09-18 16:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by writinggirl01 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might be a redneck if...
.... your lawnmower goes 50 MPH
.... you try to burn the leaves off the tree before they fall
....your thanksgiving parade float is loaded with live turkeys you plan to shoot off for onlookers
2006-09-18 22:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Natalie Rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone in your family has ever died right after saying,
"Hey Y'all, watch this", you might be a redneck.
If your wife's hairdo ever got ruined by a ceiling fan,...
If every house you have lived in had wheels on it,....
If you mow your yard and find a car..
If you have a motor hanging from a tree in your front yard....
.
2006-09-18 16:57:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear that the redneck didn't get the management job at the poultry plant? When they asked him if he wanted a 401K, he said,"No thanks, my woman has enough bras."
2006-09-18 16:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by ponyboy 81 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, I have already posted my funny jokes.
You will have to look for my picture to read them.
2006-09-20 01:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by Dew Drop 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋