I have a few important things to tell you, and I don’t know the best way to bring you my message. I am no good at conversations and the mail is too slow, so I am emailing you. I think I will be best understood this way.
I don’t know where to start, but first I want to thank you for the kindness, generosity, and attention you’ve shown me over the past 2 months. This has been a very special time, and I have enjoyed getting to know you and experiencing the pleasure of your company.
It would be selfish of me to pretend that we do not have a few differences. I have been honest with you in answering all questions, but some facts remain unsaid.
Several times over the course of getting to know you, you’ve mentioned in your outlook for the future that one goal you’d like to reach is to get married. For the purpose of total honesty, I cannot continue to refrain from telling you that personally, I currently have no future interest in becoming married and/or living with someone. You deserve to have what you want in life, and I do not want you to waste your time pursuing me if that is something important to you.
If what I have just told you ends it for you, then I will quietly step away and thank you with great appreciation for the wonderful memories. If you still wish to continue with seeing each other, making love, etc., I will be quite thrilled. Really, we can only take things one day at a time and see how it goes.
The notes you send me & the gifts are lovely. However, I am increasingly uncomfortable accepting gifts and your (very thoughtful and elegant) love letters. To me, things have moved too fast and have taken too serious of a tone. I hope you do not feel like I am rejecting you, because I’m not. I just cannot keep up with this pace. It scares me. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, so I don’t know what to do.
On one hand I am amazed and flattered by the effort and emotion you put into these things, but on the other hand I am totally confused. I hope you are not offended by this question, but do you think you are serious when you write that you love me? I just can’t help but wonder if you’d say these things to any woman that came along, because you have been lonely for awhile. Please think about whether you are really in love, or just wanting a feeling to hang onto and that I just happen to be in your reach.
Whatever conclusion you may come to, please remember that I adore you and I greatly appreciate the comfort and relief of the physical contact you give me. I have made all these important points with a heavy heart hoping that I do not in any way cause you unhappiness.
I look forward to seeing you again, if you wish, and the chats we have. If this news is all total devastation to you, some consolation is that I can at least return to you a couple of your gifts which I have left unopened in the event of this not working out, so you can get your money back. I guess at some point I realized I’d better find out which way this is going to go, before really truly being able to accept your generosity.
So, I hope that I have stressed enough how much I appreciate you, cherish your kindness and what might even be a special bond starting to develop. Only time will tell. My offer to you is your opportunity to step away, no harm done, if my harsh reality has struck too hard. Or, maybe, you will be relived knowing you do not need to do all those grand gestures anymore. I know you will think about this thoroughly, and I will be thinking of you with a great amount of care and concern as you decide what is best for you.
2006-09-18 09:31:22 · 11 answers · asked by beat_this_program 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Shes' very mature. I loved this letter. I guess because I wish if someone felt that way about me they'd find it in themselves to tell me.
Basically what she's saying is she likes you, a lot, but she's not ready or willing to commit to the next step, right now. You're getting too serious for her. I think she's a keeper. You just have to wait for her. The best thing to do is either back off for a while and give her some space or keep dating her and just be casual and not serious. She said she's scared of the pace this is going, so you just need to back off on the whole serious thing and have some fun.
Who knows, maybe in time she will be ready to settle down, but the time isn't now. This letter doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with you. She just wants to slow down.
Good luck to both of you.
2006-09-18 09:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Fuzzy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I have to say is that this person took great care in telling you that you are very important to her! I think this person cares deeply about your feelings! This is one of the most mature things / letters i have ever seen! I think she is feeling pressured by your generosity and gifts. I personally think you should slow down and continue seeing this person! Someone so honest, knows what she wants and can openly acknowledge her own feelings at the risk of loosing someone she cares about is... well more of a woman that i could ever hope to be!! If you feel strongly about this person watch the "L" bombs and slow it up! My best wishes to your future with this person! ...and fyi some people don't see marriage in the future because she has not had the time to evaluate the persons intentions...? She sounds like the kind of person who just doesn’t want to rush into anything and will someday make a commitment for "LIFE"
Just my opinion... Good Luck
2006-09-18 09:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by Trisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound (fom the letter) that you have been pretty full on over the last few months. Personally I would be freaked out by someone sending me gifts, telling me they loved me etc.
She mentions that she does not consider maraige to be an option at the moment, and no reason why she should either. Consider if you have been acting very full on towards her and if you have been acting like you are alluding to marraige.
Do you want to calm things down and continue the realtionship? If yes, then go to her and say so (and most important of all, act so). if not then you have to walk away, but it is not often that you find a woman who will respond well to that behaviour.
2006-09-18 09:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by scaryclairy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you could be moving too fast and giving too much, pushing her past her general comfort zone. Yes, it is possible to give too much, and it can backfire. I can glean that both of you are passionate, sympathetic people, and that is good.
Take your foot off the gas pedal and slow things down a little bit. Consider an attitude such as "Sorry for being so aggressive, I'll ease off a bit - let's hang out." Probably don't tell her you sent her letter to the world to view.
I wish the best for you.
2006-09-18 09:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by AntiDisEstablishmentTarianism 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds genuine to me. Take her for her word and honestly tell her how you feel, it seems like she honestly wants to get to the level you are at with her, but she is not there YET. Doesn't mean she won't be there someday. If you stay with her you may need to slow down abit on the gift giving, that seems to be overwhelming her abit too. It sounds like you are a nice guy who will be willing to give her and your relationship some space to grow. God Bless you and her whatever you decide.
2006-09-18 09:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by jt 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that your girlfriend is an extremely intelligent woman who knows exactly where she wants to be in her life and she is just letting you know that she cares for you in her own way that may not be the way that you want but she seems like she is willing to see where things go so if you think that she is worth the effort and potential pain that you may go through just hang in there and see what happens good luck in life...
2006-09-18 09:43:44 · answer #6 · answered by Dewayne H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one dont email her back, that was just a childish act in my opinion, you need to talk to her face to face, first take a look at yourself in this situation, do you feel like you guys are moving too fast, it seems she's into you but not as much as you are into her at the moment. I would stay with her, but respect that she needs space and time to grow a relationship. If you care about her you might need to relax and let things simmer down a bit.
2006-09-18 09:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
depends on the way you feel
but if you want to keep her around, then step back and give her some room.
2006-09-18 09:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by thankgodformaryjane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know,if u still like he tell her u still want to go out
2006-09-18 09:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not gonna read that stupid letttr in full but it sounds like you should kick her asssss, hahaha jk dump her and bang some other chicks dude, who cares about her, sounds like she didnt wanna be with u, maybe keep her around for a booty call
2006-09-18 09:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋