Can I sue my father?

Question

My father cheated on my mother 12 years ago and decided he wasnt going to speak to me or my brother ever again? Resulting in me having spent the last 12 years being depressed, stressed, unlawful, angry at everyone around me, never been able to hold a job because of all of this, and now its effecting me again cos i just found out he adopted the children of the woman he cheated on my mother with. No matter how hard i try and forget all this something keeps reminding me of him.
Is it possible for me to claim against my father for the effect this is having on my life?

Answer 1

The first step to maturity is to forgive your parents.

Answer 2

I can't for the life of me see why your father leaving caused you to be depressed, stressed, unlawful (!), angry at everyone and unable to hold a job down....unless the rest of your family weren't supportive of you and accused him of allsorts in front of you. If you think logically he wasn't there so how could you build those feelings without some outside help? Why did he cheat on your mother? There are two sides to every story and I don't think you know much about either of them. Rather than claiming against your father, take some claim for responsibility of your own life, stop being bitter with everyone and everything, and stop blaming others for your shortcomings. And I'm afraid you'd be a laughing stock in court if you've already commited offences.

Answer 3

Your father is your father. You only get one father in your life. Maybe he wasn't the best father, but you can be the best son. Try to forgive him, if you can't, because I'm sure it must be hard, at least try not to sue him. He has hurt you immensely, but the only reason that you felt this hurt was because you loved him, or at least you missed not having a father. he may have had his reasons for not talking to you, maybe he was scared that you would reject him, I don't know, but find out, ask him. Try and talk to him a little, even if it is hostile to start off with. If there is any way that you could rebuild your relationship with your father, you will gain a lot more than the money you can get from sueing him. I am sorry that you had to experience this and I wish you luck for the future.

Answer 4

Why would you want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know how screwed up you feel over everything that he's done. Wouldn't it be far better to say today that you are gong to start again tomorrow? Why not get up tomorrow and enrol at college, or go the jobcentre and say I am not going to let him ruin any mor of my life than he has. Then when you are a success and he is looking for contact with you, you have a choice to make yourself. My dad always used to say to me the wheel always goes the full circle, and he was right, I have seen over the years people who have wronged me or tried to better me, fall by the wayside, while I plod on in my own world, happy with myself. My dad died very suddenly three years ago, and what would I give for one more minute to tell him how much I loved him because I never told him often enough when I had the chance. If I was you, I would have to say in a letter "I loved you Dad and I am sorry you rejected me, and I hope one day you realise what a wonderful gift you had in me, but right now I have to get on with living." It will probably make you feel a lot better, give you some closure and help you get on with the rest of your life.

Answer 5

I see your point but no you cannot sue your father.
Even if you could seeking retribution in this way is only likely to make matters worse, It is keeping thes past troubles in the forefront of your mind which is damaging to you and to those around you.
I doubt that you really know the real reasons as to why your father left in the first place, try finding out his point of view, try to be a little more understanding of his point of view.
He may not have a good excuse , but at least you will know, he may need forgiveness so that he can help you get on with your life.
Good luck

Answer 6

I wouldnt think so. there is no law saying that someone is legally bound to be a good parent. What you need to do is heal yourself. The best way to do this is to forgive him. If you dont forgive him, you may be eternally mad, and never "get over it". You say it effects your job, and that you are a deppressed person. Its probably because you spend a good amount of time focusing on things from the past. My dad ditched my mom a year after my brother was born.. and she had skin cancer.. and two newborns. We had a hard life , and he re-married. He has three new kids and kind of just forgot about My brother and i . I used to hate him for it.. but now i forgive him. I can move past him and work on myself. If you dont move past being the victum, then you will always blame him for ewverything, and depend upon him changing or revenge to get better. I dont think you can sue, what you can do is move past it. tell yourself you are a strong person who survived without him for a long time. All you need is yourself honey

good luck.

Answer 7

You can always sue anyone for anything... That doesn't mean you'll win the case! Forgiveness is the best solution. Plus, I wouldn't count on him to pay for the attorneys fees either - and they aren't cheap!

Rather than blame someone else for how you are today... Make the mature step to discover what your own shortcomings are now. Then make the changes necessary in your life to become the person you want to be! While your parents certainly do influence you as you're growing up, it sounds like you're an adult now, and as such shouldn't be looking to blame anyone from your past. Life is what you make of it!

Good luck!

Answer 8

i wouldn't think so......true, your father did something really dirty and I'm sure it has had an extreme impact on you. However, you cannot let your father's actions be your excuse for your problems today. You chose to dwell over this and let it affect you. You have to be strong enough to say that your father is the one with the real problem, not you. He didn't step out on you because you weren't good enough, he stepped out because he wasn't good enough. As with any situation like this, its hard to be strong and say enough is enough but you have to quit letting what he does affect your life so strongly. So, you probably could sue but that still doesn't mean that your case will have any merit. However, I believe you are right in your feelings toward him, there just isn't any real justification. The best thing would probably be to invest in a counselor so that you can work through your problems to make your life better for yourself.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!!

Answer 9

Your story is very sad I feel so sad for you, but I have to say the Chance's of you successfully claiming damages from your father is not good as you will have to prove that your depression was caused by you farther. As medical opinion on the cause of depression is not fully understood you would face a lengthy and no doubt costly ordeal.

Answer 10

Anybody can sue for anything these days. But the question is, even if you win, how will getting money from your father help you now? If you need it to pay for therapy that fine, but if not it will not help you in the slightest. I suggest you go to therapy to help you deal with your issues, and move on. I assume you are an adult now, it is time you acted like one. You are the one making decisions about your life now, not him. Just because you feel angry doesn't mean you have to act angry. Try smiling at people, it will help to improve your mood.

Answer 11

If you are in America I guess you could cos you can sue for anything there but not sure in UK. May get thrown out of court. Why do you want to cause more stress anyway, show him you don't need him. Get on with your life, a life without him.