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I found a number in her cell phone and had asked her about it. The more I dug in, the more was revealed. She stated that it was with three different men in a six month period. It was nothing serious she stated. It was more of a night stand. I do love her, however her action is making me look at her differnt. Because of her actions, we are not as intiment as before. How will I get over this, can I get over this? I don't believe she will do it again because of a stronger communication. Please advise

2006-09-18 08:28:25 · 29 answers · asked by BISHOP 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

29 answers

She seems to be taking it rather casually, but at least she is honest with you.

You clearly have reservations about trusting her again. The best way to get over it is to dump her *** and find someone who will truly love you because this issue may haunt you for the remainder of your relationship with her. She broke it and it might not be fixable. Don't let it drag on and on because it will only get worse.

2006-09-18 08:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 2 0

This is a hard situation because within the past 6 months she has been intimate with 3 other people. Trust is going to be a great issue for you. Just because communication is more open now it doesn't mean that she will stay faithfull. Mabe she feels that you will forgive her no matter what, so she continues on messing around. I don't know your exact situation so I could be totally wrong but you really need to find out WHY she cheated on you and if that problem is resolved now. You also need to realize that if two people are in a relationship a one night stand IS serious and has ruined many lives and relationships. Have you ever cheated on her? Mabe thats why she did it?? You really need to stress to her that a one night stand IS a big deal espically since there are so many diseases going around that she could EASILY pass on to you (even if she uses a condom!). Communication is the key so I am happy that you guys now have that established. I hope you guys can get this worked out and I hope she realizes that what she did IS a big deal and that she should NEVER do it again.

2006-09-18 08:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by dabster 2 · 0 0

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2016-12-15 10:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

I hate to put it this way, but I think the only way to get over it, really, is to find someone else and move on from her.

The reason I say this, is that a huge part of you may always feel that you can never really trust her again. And you would have good reason to feel that way, especially if she has had not one, not even two, but THREE affairs!!!!

If she really did love you and just wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have even had one. I have been in many relationships and have never had an affair. I think if a girl or a guy is starting to have feelings for someone else, they should break their current relationship off before starting another one.

I think it's incredibly selfish for someone to go behind their current significant other's back with someone else. If she really did love you, she wouldn't have had any of these affairs.

I think you deserve to be with someone who wouldn't even *think* of being with someone else. That, to me, is what true love is all about. Sure it might be natural for people to be tempted here and there, but once someone strays from you, a huge part of the trust is gone and might never be brought back. Besides that, there is the saying, once a cheater, always a cheater. Not necessarily always true, but she may get tempted by another man yet again down the road and you will just get hurt again all over again.

2006-09-18 08:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by jennnnn 4 · 0 0

I know that's a lot of time investing in your relationship to just call it quits. When dealing with matters of the heart, one always has to be careful.

I will say this much, the hardest decision to make, is usually the right one.

Your girlfriend cheated on you. Nothing serious? She admitted that it wasn't a relationship, just sex? How is this even OK in your mind. It's not a single discretion but 3 seperate incidents.

I know you'd like to believe she wont do it again, and maybe you're right, she might not, to her next boyfriend. But I have to say sadly, that I think this ship has sailed and you'd be better off without her. You will never be able to fully trust her again and your relationship will suffer, cut your losses and find a worthwile woman to share your life with.

2006-09-18 08:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0 0

Make it easier on yourself in the long run, they say once a cheater always a cheater. You have to question why did she feel the need to cheat? and it wasnt just a one time thing either, keep that in mind, she Chose to do this, and with 3 different men. Dont you deserve someone better who wouldnt ever do that to you? They may state they love you, and maybe they mean it but i cant understand how can u love anyone but have to betray them? This has obviously ruined your trust level of her and to keep this relationship going wont you always question in the back of your mind "where was she? who was she really with"? If you can get past that then yes maybe you guys could work things out. If not you do need to reliaze that yes you do love her and yes you want to be with her but what is really the best thing for YOU, possibly you can get over it but its going to take alot of rebuilding trust . Best wishes....

2006-09-18 08:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Yes she Would...once a cheater always a cheater. she will just cover it next time.., she will be more careful not to get caught next time. Cheating girls/guys always make excuses for what they did. Do you really want to wonder every moment if she is with some guy.., it wont get any easier. you will begin to not trust her and your relashionship will fall apart.

if she really loved you. then YOu would be Enough. She wouldnt need other partners. I know its easier said then done. but this is something you need to do for yourself. She has no heart if she can stand to hurt you like that. No cheater diserves forgiveness they diserve to be treated as if they are nothing. Theres other girls out there worthly of your love and faith.

I was with a guy for almost 3 yrs and i found out he cheated on me. and it was over just like that. And now i found the love of my life i moved on and found happiness. it doesnt matter how long it was into the relashionship when someone cheats on you or hurts you. it rips you up inside. apart of you is empty and nothing can fill that back up. It will be hard but you will find it again. I wasted 3 yrs of my life. on a good-for-nothing man. and learned from it all and found again what i thought i lost. dont loose hope. you need to loose her. let real love come to you, and one day you will be proud of what you did. Not every girl will be like the one that cheated on you. There are faithful girls out there. yes at first you will think every girl is like that. but soon you will see, that if you do this. it will be for the greater good.

2006-09-18 08:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by sweet_poetic_fire 3 · 0 0

You dont get over it. You can forgive but you wil not forget. All you can do is work on the relationship or end it. If you find yourself being constantly being suspicious or jealous then you should probably call it quits. You need to make it clear to her that if she wants to move on she needs to tell you and if you here of her cheating again there will be no more you in her life. Then be touh and follow through.

If you do continue to be with her you should ask her to be checked for STD's for your health as well as hers

2006-09-18 08:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by mandy67357 2 · 0 0

Eventough your girlfriend did cheat on you, she at least came out and admitted it to you. One and a half years is a long time to throw away due to a mistake that she obvieously regretts, otherwise she wouldn't have told you. If I was in your position, I would have to think twie before breaking things off with her. Like I said previously, she obviously loves you or she wouldn not have told you. But then you have to consider, did she only tell you to feel less guilty? If she'd only done it once, I could understand that, but the fact that she did it three times is a very important issue, I don't know if I could forgive that. In my case, my BF chated on me twice and I forgave him both times and now we're happier than ever. Im not telling oyu to let it go, but if you love her and she loves you, you should get together, talk and try to work things out. Trust me it pays off in the end. But just remenber the old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Foll me twice, shame on me."

2006-09-18 08:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by LittleTownChic 1 · 0 0

You are being naive to think for a second that she wont do it again. Love is no reason to play the fool "nowadays' You obviously do not trust her to have been looking in her cell phone in the first place. You need to wake up and realize this is NOT the woman for you.

2006-09-18 08:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1 0

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