Is there a way to overcome jealousy?

Question

I've never been a jealous person until i started going out with my boyfriend. I think i'm jealous because he's extremely jealous. The things he questions me about makes me question him on the same things. I can't stand it! I think jealousy is such a horrible feeling. A part of me keeps thinking he might cheat on me in the future and another part of me is completely sure he wouldn't. I don't know what to do. How do you over come it?

Answer 1

Jealously often derives from Insecurity. I know because Otello would be a nice little lamb compared to how jealous I used to be.
There are many things that contribute to someone being jealous, if you have been cheated on (like I was) thats a huge factor, or if your boyfriend knows you are extremely atractive that might make him insecure and thus be jealous, or on the dark side of things, someone who cheats gets jealous too for fear of being cheated on.
I suggest you try to determine why both of you are so jealous, and once you do that you talk it out and work at it, I know that being jealous is hell, and being with someone who is jealous about everything is also pretty nasty, so if you do want this relationship to work you will have to focus on working on your self esteem, on trusting your boyfriend and respecting his space and on getting him to do that for you as well.
Good luck!

Answer 2

Yes, jealousy is directly related to the amount of self-esteem and self-worth a person has for themself. It is not a coincidence that the more insecure someone is the more jealous and suspicious they are. Love is a matter of trust and faith. If someone feels compelled to make sure their partner is telling the truth and being faithful, then chances are very good that they will be the one who lies and cheats somewhere down the road. People usually dislike things in others that they dislike most about themselves.
The old adage is corny but true, "if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then it is love. If it doesn't return, then it was never really true love". Something like that.
Also, two wrongs don't make a right. If you despise jealousy then never act jealous, no matter how much you feel like doing so.
If you want love, then give love. If you want trust, then give trust...etc.

Answer 3

Hey girl, I actually asked this question a few days ago. Im in a relationship too ( 14 months) and I'm the problem when its comes to jealousy. You have to trust eachother first off, and communication amoung eachother is very important. Tell him how you feel, and when he constantly asks you questions referring to jealousy, let him know that your not that type of person, or however you feel. jealousy is a horrible feeling and he needs to work on it. If trust and communication isnt apart of ur relationship then you to shouldnt be together. Tell him how you feel now. Stress in the relationship is just going to make things worse. I hope the best.

Answer 4

Could it be that you and your boyfriend aren't a healthy match? Questioning, extreme jealousy, fears of cheating, insecurity-- that doesn't exactly sound like a loving, positive relationship to me, even if this sort of thing only happens "some" of the time.
Why do you want to live that way? I'm surprised that you think that sort of behavior has anything to do with "love".
In my opinion, this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Extremely jealous is controlling and could lead to emotional, verbal and possibly physical abuse. I suppose if this is who and what you truly want, you'll just have to accept him for who and what he is: an extremely jealous person. And this is what your life will be like if you decide to be with him. It's your choice- he is what he is.
(PS There's an old saying: if you don't want your future son to become like him, or your future daughter to marry someone like him, end it. Now.)

Answer 5

I just told myself that all the jealousy and worry that he would cheat is a waste of time because if men are going to cheat, being jealous and worrying isn't going to prevent them from doing it. Just give him the benefit of the doubt and if he does cheat then you can deal with it when it happens. Being jealous doesn't give you the proof or the grounds to do anything but accuse and start a fight. trust me i learned the hard way.

Answer 6

Very simple. You & he are NOT a match.

You want to be "equally yoked" in as many things as possible; this way, the relationship is balanced and equal.

Start off as friends with guys. That's always a good start!

Jealousy is destructive and feeds upon itself. Best be joined at the hip with someone who is mature and comfortable with himself. He will see the same the same qualities in you, then, and only then can a relationship grow and you two can become one in many aspects.

Answer 7

I am in the same situation as yours. My husband has always been very jealous and I am not what so ever. I though over time that he would change especially after we ad kids. But he has been getting worse. I always try to reassure him but I just let it go and I don't act the way he does or I would go insane

Answer 8

properly in 4 hours 10 pts would be achieveable... at the start jealousy spawns from a persevering with sense of opposition and/or low self-worth. the way of overcoming it for my section is getting to be responsive to the thank you to love and be your self as someone and comprehend there is somebody constantly extra effective then you definately at something. yet doesnt propose you arent large. additionally- verbal substitute, permit people be responsive to the way you sense, communicate it, regularly we come to verify issues arent as over the appropriate as we cause them to. verbal substitute heavily works wonders while in comparison with boiling blood and exploding.

Answer 9

Boy, this is an interesting questio. I think that jealousy is more about insecurity, and therefore, he may cheat on you, but he may not, if he has respect for you and himself. I think a serious conversation about this is best.

Answer 10

stop caring so much,
if you don't care about losing him, you won't be jealous

trust is the only thing that you need,
if you trust him, you will never be jealous.

It's better if he cheats on you, then you'll know he didn't love you as much as he said he did, and you can go look for someone that will love you as much as you love them