I am interested to see what proportion of people would fall into this category.
I know many married couples that were both active before marriage, but (sadly) none that were both virgins.
Regardless of your answer, what effect has this had on your marriage? I have heard that if one person was a virgin, and the other wasn't, this can lead to jealousy and bad feelings (etc). I also have friends (who were both active) that say that they would have had it no other way.
Please note that I am merely curious, I don't mean to tell people how to live their lives or to make them uncomfortable! I know that the Christian viewpoint is to wait until marriage - is that the same for other viewpoints (i.e., Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, etc!), as I honestly don't know many people that consider themselves anything other than Christian?
Thanks for your answers!! :)
2006-09-18 07:06:55 · 11 answers · asked by A 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes. The first honeymoon was very disappointing for both of us. But managed to learn later. The effect for me, I don't know bout my wife, after several years of marriage, questions lingers if sex with other women is as exciting as well and other sexual questions.
2006-09-18 07:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, and also no. We were also active with people other than each other during the first couple of years of our relationship. We lived together for quite a while before marrying, and have been monogamous for the past... er....six years? I think?
While we were both sexually active before we became serious, neither of us was particularly 'experienced', if you catch my meaning. We had only had typical, high school, lusty, 'I think I'm in love with you, let's get married and die together even though we're only 16' sex. Which means (cover your eyes, wee uns) lots of oral, lots of missionary in the backseat of the car, and an occassional foray into, er, well not missionary position.
Once you enter into a loving, caring, serious, commited relationship with another human being, THAT'S when you get the sexual experience. There's a lot more than knowing where to put what, or when to touch this, and what flavor of condom she likes to a healthy sexual relationship. Only when you are married or in that committed relationship are you comfortable enough to actually open up to the experiences; you're no longer wondering if he thinks your breasts look funny hanging towards your armpits, he cares more about the intimacy of making love to you than ejaculating too quickly. That's when you can fully experience the true joy, love, intimacy, and magic that sex is.
I'd like to add that I hope I didn't upset or offend anyone with my frank talk. But this is honestly how I feel - whether you marry a virgin or not!
2006-09-18 09:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by Steph Gas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were not virgins when we married. We lived together for a year before getting married. It has not had a negative effect our relationship per se but looking back we both see how meaningless the relationships were that we did have and wished we would have waited for each other regardless of if we had waited until we were married.
2006-09-18 08:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by cytopia1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy into the lie that it doesn't matter. It does.
If you are a virgin, wait. You will never have anything to be ashamed about, and your husband will trust and honor you.
Speaking as one who didn't wait. I cannot say that it caused the demise of our marriage, but I can say that I would have had better choices of who to marry if I had waited, and it would most likely not have been him.
2006-09-18 07:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No and no, but we each had very little sexual experience (especially compared to most of our friends), which in both cases involved serious relationships.
2006-09-18 07:21:32 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetchild Danielle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
me and my wife already had sex with others before we got married and we both never saw a problem with it and i never felt guilty for doing so and neither has my wife in the past either. but i think its funny that christians think sex is evil out side of a marriage before you get married
2006-09-18 07:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
We both wasnt virgins.But understand as well we both was not saved. I wished we was but cannot change the past.
2006-09-18 07:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
love is like a car you have to test drive a few before you find the one you like......
2006-09-18 07:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by apple salad 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Neither.
2016-07-24 18:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not even when we met.
2017-01-19 02:21:26 · answer #10 · answered by Rebecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋