Do you think it is okay for your children to curse?

Question

I have a three year old and a ten month old and my husband thinks its funny to coax the three year old to curse. And when she does say a bad word he laughs and makes her repeat it. I think it's inappropriate for little child to curse and I make it a habbit of telling my oldest not to do it. But her dad always changes the rules. He says he has no problem with it as long as she doesn't say the F word. I think when they are teenagers I could handle them saying the occasional curse word, but three and ten months on ward to school age is way too young. What do you think?

Answer 1

teenagers are able to grasp that a certain word, said in their own room to a friend, or in the locker room, probably will not cause a problem. But the same word said in church, sunday school, or in front of a teacher at school (or day care) will get a kid in serious hot water.

Very little kids get confused about changing their behavior in different situations. So basically when your kid starts cussing at daycare, head start, church, or even grandmas house...and she gets punished for saying a word previously allowed, it will just confuse the kid and mess with her head.

Answer 2

No it is not okay, cute or funny. Its rude, shows lack of respect to ones self and others. By teaching our children to curse ( although they are going to learn these words anyways) we are teaching our children to be common and vulgar.
If your child is very young (two to four years of age) and doesn't understand what he's saying, ignoring the word can work sometimes. If he persists, then pick a one-line response that's emotionally neutral, such as 'Those aren't very nice words to say.' So gone are the days of grounding or washing a child’s mouth out with soap. I dont think so. About a week ago my 5 year old daughter had heard someone says the "F" word to someone else. Later after she was home from school she disagreed with me and shouted at me "F***K You, mommy!!!!"
My first thought was to slap her mouth, but I didnt. I lit a cigarette, took a few puff off of it and asked her where she heard that language. She told me that the bigger kids on her school bus said it all the time. I told her she was to NEVER use those words EVER AGAIN. I was so mad, believe me your child can make you as a parent very very ANGRY. I soaped up my finger and rubbed all over the inside of her mouth. I asked her if it tasested good and and when she replied that it tasted awful. I told her that was how the words she had said would maker her mouth taste. The soap was for cleaning nasty mouths. I had her spit and rinse her mouth out with water. To date she hasnt said the "F" word anymore.

I think we have gone to long with the use of slang. When we are angered we often use foul language to show the oether person how we feel or to get the upper hand thru insults and vulgar language.

I think we need to teach our children that the pen is mightier than the sword. Which means that thru proper useage of words, knowing what words mean, and not vulgar words as everyone hears those often.

If its something cute that we wish to hear from our children why dont we begin to read the dictionary or encyclopedia to them at a young age. What good can vulgar language benefit our children? If they are going to learn big words, why not have them learn big word and the meanings behind them that will benefit them. Words that will cause their minds to grow and enhance their vocabulary?

Answer 3

I think that if it can get me fired from freaking wlmart, then no three year old should be incouraged to use it. SHe has no idea what it means, just that it makes daddy laugh.

If he was any kind of man, he would want her to grow into an intelligent, articulate lady. NOT a little potty mouth. Imagine what kind of impression she gives as she grows up. When she's 15, do you want her to sound like she hangs out at the local bar???

No, you want her to be seen as kind, graceful, smart, and caring. And people who drop S-bomds and F-bombs and the like are not seen that way. They are seen as crass, rude, and uncouth. What crowd do you want the kids to run in??? What kinds of careers do you wan tfor them. Factory workers who make littel more then $10-12/hr seem to cuss up a storm. Teachers don't. Lawyers and doctors don't. Not even bank tellers and store clerks.

IT may be cute now, but your job is to prepare them for LIFE. and it isn't cut eout there in the real world. Its cutthroat and competitive. Being well mannered and well spoken is probably the best gift you can give her.

Answer 4

I belive the cursing is a very adult form of expression, there are so many convoluted meanings to our language that children don't comprehend. It is un healthy to allow children to attempt to experience the same emotions we experience when using these words.. for instance the C* word is very very derogatory and demeaning to women but how would your husband feel if your child was the one being called the C*t.. in some ways it is child abuse i would stop it at all costs... for heaven sakes wait till grandma is called a C* at thanksgiving dinner, just for a laugh???

Answer 5

I totally agree with you. My daughter hears a lot of bad words from her Dad while we are driving and from her grandfather. When she started repeating them I made it clear I wanted it to stop. My husband is doing better but my father-in-law still says things he shouldn't.

She is 2 and knows which words are bad. When she says it I simply say, "What do nice girls say?" And she will say "Oh my gosh." We tried to teach her other phrases like "oh, snap" but oh my gosh is her favorite. We don't laugh or encourage her, we just try to gently coax her to say the correct phrase. I have put her in time out for repeating words over and over when I am trying to correct her.

You aren't going to be able to solve this problem until your husband decides it is inappropriate. I guess the day she gets sent home from preschool for cursing will be the day he realizes it isn't a good thing to teach her.

Answer 6

I don't think it's ok. My older sis allows her kids (8 & 10) to cuss and I personally don't want it around mine. People now days are too eager for their kids to grow up and have no rules. Stop it now before it gets worse. They will not understand why they can't say the F word but the others either. A point I brought up and didn't realise is that people won't want yours around theirs with bad language. School doesn't allow it either and I'm pretty sure you don't want them in trouble daily for what someone else has taught them is ok.

Answer 7

I think curse words are merely just words. I don't see the importance or wrong in them but we live in a culture where those words are unaccepted therefore, it's best to to curse. Really, there are other words to use in place of those and they are just considered "taboo." I think you should talk to your husband about this because it's really not good to start out on two different pages if you know what I mean. My husband and I have these issues as well--he undermines my authority all the time. After I talked to him about it though, he's defiantly calmed down a bit. I agree, your husband shouldn't be encouraging these words or using them in front of your children. My friend and her husband cursed all the time in front of their son, and one day at church he dropped his toy...and said "****." Which was his first word by the way. Talk it out with your husband. If you need anything else or just someone to talk to--IM or email me.

Answer 8

It seems the best alternative to raising children is always reinforce the positive. I would imagine the male factor finds it amusing. It is not likely you will be able to change his mind or actions. It does help greatly to have family members or freinds that agree with you and can brainstorm tactics to run interference when this goes on with the two young ones.

Answer 9

Your children are too young to be swearing and your husband should grow up. Teach your children not to say those words in front of you, Daddy may allow it but you won't. Make sure they know that you won't tolerate it and correct them whenever they use the words when they are with you or others.

Answer 10

No it is not acceptable behavior. Your husband is short sighted in failing to realize that it is not what is acceptable to him that makes for successful entry into society. Your daughter needs to learn as much proper etiquette as possible to give her the tools necessary to advance in school and later on in the professional world. Being a trash mouth will only lead her into trashy circles and she will be rejected by more affluent groups with higher educational aspirations. The bottom line is that we need to raise our children to higher standards than those by which we ourselves live.