My guy and I have a sorta good relationship but lately he has really been trippin. We've been with each other for about 1yr .He made a couple mistakes in our relationship but we got over them. Now he is really insecure and feels like I am going to hurt him , like cheat on him. I am not like that and I believe that if I am going to cheat I would rather leave him first.We argue almost everyday about stupid little things and I am tired of it. What can I do to change the situation? What can I do to make him trust me ? Or do you think it will never work out ? I am starting to give up hope
2006-09-18 06:56:40 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We sit down and talk about it but it does not get resolved. I haven't done anything to him and I would not jeopordize our relationship but the arguing every single day about stupid sh*t ( excuse the language) is driving me crazy. I love him to death but I am to a point where its not worth it to me. I want to be happy not miserable.
2006-09-18 07:13:12 · update #1
He knows I love him . He cannot say he doesn't . Not only do I tell him but I do show him as well. When times got rough for him I was there. I have been the good girlfriend. And whats so funny to me is that in the past if a guy did me wrong he was out the door very quick but when I choose to settle down and give ppl chances thats when I get screwed basically. I have been thru to much the past year and this is just adding on to my stress.
2006-09-18 07:17:11 · update #2
No matter what anyone says, you are only going to hear what you want. Meaning, whatever we say, you are going to do what you want to do.
My advise is to get out while you can. If you have tried over and over to work things out, and things are still at an all time low.. why would you put more effort into a lost cause? You can't make someone trust you if they don't want to. No matter what you do, he still accuses you of petty things you know you aren't doing, and by denying his claims it doesn't help things in his head. No matter what you do you are still, in his eyes, wrong. There is no fixing that! You just need to let go and move on. He will promise to change, and he might even do it..but unless he gets help he will resort to his old ways and everything will come full circle.
Another thing, if he accuses you of cheating on him.. he may still be cheating on you. Think about it, it's called a guilty conscious and it's one of the many signs of a cheating partner.
It all comes down to what will make you happy. Will staying and trying to work things out make you happy or letting go and finding someone who will love you and respect you make you happy?
I wish you the best, and please consider what everyone is saying before making your final decision.
2006-09-18 08:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by mytrollinid 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out while you can. Been there, done that. It is exactly as you said, he made mistakes and you were able to get over them, but now he thinks that is what you will do. It's like role reversal. He is projecting his misgivings onto you. Nobody can tell you what to do, but think about this. He doesn't trust u, even though he's the one that messed up, and you guys are always arguing. Life is too short for all that. You deserve to be treated with respect, not with be somebody who messed up with you then turn around and point the finger at you to make you seem like the bad guy. Do you think he 's going to change? From experience I have learned that YOU cannot make anybody do anything that they don't want to. It's only been a year, and he made a few mistakes, and got you second guessing yourself and rethinking the whole relationship. Further if someone loves you, they are seeking to uplift you and make you feel good. Not tear you down and make you feel bad. It will hurt being without him emotionally, but I promise it gets better. You will feel the stress lift. You have to do what is going to be best for you. There are plenty of men out here who will treat you the way you know you deserve to be treated. Take care.
2006-09-18 14:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by TRUTH HURTZ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i did go through the exactly same situation just a few month ago.
dont give up hope sit together and talk about all that bothers u and him.u argue probably about things which are actually not even things to argue about.u both have to learn to trust each other and u both have to forgive each other.when he is acting stupid tell him,when u are acting stupid tell him,to tell u without flipping out.well and tell me one person who doesnt meke mistakes,just make shure he understand that what he actually did.u can make him trusting u when u dont do this things anymore that makes him think that,show him that he is still your number one and always will be.give the attention he needs.
every relationship has hard times but when u both hold together then u can go through everything and get everything.but u both have to work on it...if u truely love him then dont let him go,and always when u think u cant do that anymore then take some time for yourself and do some with your friends for a few hours or go out with them.
i understand u are tired of this argueing and the problems but im shure he feels the same way,and wants to change some that it works out.
dont give up sometimes it just takes a while to find the right thing to make things work out in a deep relationship...
good luck and i hope u make the right desicion for the both of u!
2006-09-18 14:20:11 · answer #3 · answered by starlight 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and work out exactly what it is you're arguing about. Then try to dig a bit deeper. Is it something you're worried about that's making you lash out at him? Is he quite calm but you're quite fiery? Sometimes that can affect the way you relate. I.e. subconciously, you could get annoyed with him about something, let it build up and build up - then you snap. And he doesn't say a word. He just holds you. Then the argument begins when he snaps cos he's had enough of your bitchiness? It sounds a LOT like frustration so sit down and discuss where the feelings have come from. Apologies for a seriously analytical answer!!
2006-09-18 14:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by Bridezilla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is talk to him. Explain to your bf that his mistakes are still killling the relationship even after you both agrred to move on. Let him know if he keeps it up it will only turn you off and go to another. Im sure he doesnt want that
2006-09-18 14:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by Robin S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is one to live by... Our suspicion of others in bc of the knowledge we have of ourselves!!!!
He knows what he did to you. He may be feeling the guilt of doing it or he might think you're doing it bc he is. Women and men operate completely different. You can't change him. If he doesn't want to change on his own, it probably won't work.
My boyfriend and I have the same issues. He is very insecure. I told him if he doesn't learn to trust me more then I'm leaving. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me for no reason. It takes it toll! Good luck
2006-09-18 14:08:56 · answer #6 · answered by Pimp E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know how much you love him and that you would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship after telling him this hopefully it will make him feel alot better about yall
2006-09-18 14:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat, just keep assuring him it's ok and your not going to leave him, and let your actions line up with that, the outcome for me was good
2006-09-18 14:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by ILOVEMYBOYFRIEND 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to him your not that type of girl and that you are just as lucky to have him as he is to have you and if that doesn't work then you need to end that relationship.
2006-09-18 14:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by hot_pink_gurl85 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly i went through this wit my ex and its not gonna get any better if he doesnt trust u..sorry...
2006-09-18 14:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by Steph(China) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋