My father has reverted back to me being 16 years old again but I am 48. I visit him at his house every day to take care of him and I also spend at least 4 nights with him to make sure all is safe. All of my "stuff' is pushed in the background.
I tell my fiance that I need to take of care of my dad. He understands but I can see our relationship is suffering because of this. Because of my dad thinking I am 16 again I actually have to sneek out of the house to go back to where I live and then get up about 4:00 AM and sneak back into my dads house so he will not know I have been gone.
This is getting old but I need to take care of my dad.
I would like suggestions on what to do beside putting my father in a nursing home.
Sorry for going on so, but just talking about it helps.
Thanks.
2006-09-18 05:37:35 · 14 answers · asked by dotsycat 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You might consider hiring a live in "maid" for your dad. If he has an extra room you might find one that is willing to consider room and board as a large part of the compensation (a responsible student who spends most of their time studying or a work from the computer at home type, for example)
My father's wife has Alzheimer's and is getting to the point where she is not really safe being in the house by herself for long periods. My dad has hired a "maid" to do some light housework and generally just be there during the day. So far it's working out great. However, know that eventually your father as well as my dad's wife will require greater care than can be given at home.
2006-09-18 05:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
appears like he has different reason besides his 10 twelve months plan...pass on and overlook him, he grew to become right into a playtoy and you're able to have been extra careful, so a techniques as ruining his life, he's of criminal age and he would have placed a coat on it, or saved it zipped. he's the only with a 10 twelve months plan he could have had some 10 protection occurring. yet...by way of fact the buns interior the oven-- which you will communicate..the question is...are you the right age and grown adequate to boost a toddler on your guy or woman (do no longer anticipate any help from him, do no longer think of inclusive of your coronary heart, think of inclusive of your head) Alot of ladies boost a toddler without the daddy's help. Plus if he's this set against it, he's no longer father cloth. you go with somebody who will love you and the toddler...and it would not may be the actual father. (seek for an older guy without young ones, I comprehend at 40 two that isn't an ordinary job) in case you incredibly desire a toddler, shop it, do no longer anticipate it to alter him, it won't. And later down the line he will the two step as much as the plate or be long previous for sturdy, yet those are his options And to your mum and dad...a splash lie on no account injury. purchase a low-fee wedding ceremony basnd and tell them he's over seas interior the conflict...that way he's hassle-free to do away with could the mind-blowing guy come alongside
2016-10-01 02:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by kroner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he doesn't know your age and that you are sneaking in and out while leaving him unattended says that you need to place him in a facility where he will get 24/7 care.
This is not a good situation for you or him and reasoning with him won't work at this point.
If you spend only 4 nights with him someone else must be in on this as well. Seems like you need to have a talk with the other caregiver.
2006-09-18 06:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
New treatments are being discovered so discuss these with his Dr each visit! Since you already have computer access then contact support groups on-line; search for Alzheimer research on-line,too! Like trying to prevent your father from receding further mentally; what have you found out lately on your own? Several Societies have research recommending Puzzles to challenge daily the patient to exercise the Brain in its entirety. some folks are okay with crossword style while others build on manual dexterity style over a week (e.g., bent or curved nails).
2006-09-18 06:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by K9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Home health care may be an option to help out. Don't worry so much about your fiancee. When he sees your devotion to your dad in need, he will see the devotion to him when he is in need. If he loves you, he will share your burdens. If not, it's best to find out now before an even larger problem comes along. I'm not saying ignore your fiancee, or not to listen to his advice, etc. But, think if it was his dad. What woudl you do? Would you leave him because the situation interfered with your time together, would you be understanding and forgiving, or would you be there helping him take care of his dad? It's questions like this that helps us understand and learn about love, the kind of love that lasts. It certainly doesn't resemble romance, though passion can flare from time to time.
Love is patient, love is kind, Love is never self-seeking, proud, or boastful. Love never fails. Love keeps no record of wrongs.Love always trusts, always protects, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is true of love whether it is between an engaged couple or between a daughter and father. Of course, if your father is losing his mind, you might not know what to expect. Still, you remember it was his nature to provide for you. Don't forget that as the disease progresses. Try not to learn to hate him if his behavior worsens. It is a disease.
Eventually, he may need constant observation to prevent him from hurting himself. That could mean finding someone to move in with him, moving him in with you, or finding a community living arrangement like a retirement home or nursing home. This will not completely unburden you, however. It is clear that you love your father very much. You will continue to visit him frequently whereever he is. You are in my prayers. Caregivers of Alzheimer's patient's have a special burden of love, particularly when it is their parent.
2006-09-18 05:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Nick â? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try just leaving after he has fallen asleep and returning with breakfast or things to make breakfast with eggs, bread for toast, whatever is needed. My god-father went through the same thing. It wasnt until he started trying to hurt others that we had to send him to a nursing home. You fiance should see the love you are showing for you father and be thankful that if it came down to it and he became ill that you would do the same for him. All I can say is stay strong. *hugs* I know its not much but what you are doing for him is awsome.
2006-09-18 05:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by swwetgirl_needs_lovin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
http://www.alz.org/
My best idea is to have your father to live with you or you move with him if you have a family and children he have to see them
and see your husband or boyfriend maybe you should tell him you 48 year old still it may help to tell him the truth we alway do at the nursing home I use to work at as a Certified Nursing Assistant ,But ask your health care professional that take care of your father they may tell you the same thing,the truth really never hurt anyone still it depend on your father life stypes
2006-09-18 05:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't try to live in the days your dad is remembering help him by teaching him to reality and the way things are now i know its hard to take care of your dad but i respect your will power for doing this so many people now days put there parents in nursing homes so they don't have to deal with them but some have no choice bless you hope you can get this under control
2006-09-18 08:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by fancey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEW
My sisters father in law is in the same situation. The doctor recomended LIMUPLEX made by Natur Science, this is a natural dietary supplement that promesses so much we all started taking it.
Talk to your doctor about other products that could help control the simptoms.
Give it a try. It is been recomended by profesionals. Its helping him, could help you.
Your are doing everything possible to help your dad and that is a valuable thing to do, it shows how much he gave you.
Dont loose your strengh, keep fighting and pray!
2006-09-18 05:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by regatta87 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get in touch with the Alzheimer's Association in your area. They have support groups to help you. sometimes we {children} must know when we need to get help for our parents. As you may know your father will continue to decline. get all of the information available to help you and your fiance to get ready for the future.
Best Wishes and Good luck
A child, also......
2006-09-18 07:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by Sandyvon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋