my boyfriend and i argue alot... and some of them are bad.... is it normal to argue like that or is that a sign that we're doomed?
2006-09-18 05:30:09 · 24 answers · asked by arctic_fire12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay, by bf and i argue alot... yet we love each other alot too... we seem to get along just fine when we can see each other often, but if we cant, we have the arguments. we've been together almost 8 months now....
2006-09-18 05:35:38 · update #1
I couldn't tell you if it was "normal" or not, but it's what me & my b/f do all the time. Seems like we get one thing cleared up & then something else comes up. I am wondering the same thing you are; should I just walk away now?
2006-09-18 05:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When two people get together, they have different opinions on most every subject. Relationships are a matter of compromise and understanding. Every couple argue a lot but if the argument get and constantly heated then this does raise a flag that the relationship is in trouble. You need to look deeper into your relationship and see if you are really happy with all this discontent and arguing
This the reason dating was invented. To see how compatible the couples can be with each other. There are times that even the best relationships have arguments but a lot of arguments then you have to ask yourself, is this what I want for the rest of my life? As if you are the way and believe the way you do, and he is the way and believes the way he does, it is a sign of the future and neither of you will change, without a lot of therapy.
Good Luck
2006-09-18 12:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by NIck N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just pay attention to the reason of the arguments. IT IS BAD if you always argue about the same problems, that never get solved, and when you grow a lot of bitter feelings towards each other for that. For example: my ex husband and i used to have bad arguments about his reproval on the way i had lived my life and his praising of his previous wife (I married virgin and she had a lot of experience), this is the kind of argument that kills a relationship cause I couldnt go back and change my life (and I wouldnt even if I could). It is only an example. If the arguments are not ferocious but come from light things, I say you are just putting energy in movement :-)
2006-09-18 12:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arguing is normal. Arguing a lot is not.
Sorry. Volitile relationships get ugly over time...people around you are uncomfortable. Children are confused.
How old are you? How long have you been together? If you are young (under 25) then its a road to nowhere. It won't change. Don't hang in there thinking it will. Sorry.
IF you are older or have been together for many years already, then therapy might be the key. Perhaps you are both stubborn, selfish, controlling, or only children. Those things can be fixed.
2006-09-18 12:33:25 · answer #4 · answered by firehorsetwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how long you have been together and your living situation it could be normal to argue a lot.
In my case, my boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, we moved in together about 3 weeks after we were dating, so there were tons of arguements...
When you're around someone all the time you see all their little quirks and flaws, and they see yours too, of course it's going to bug you guys and you're going to argue, but if it's something deeper than shouting matches that are usually over in a half hour or less than I would say it's not normal...however like i said, arguements are normal when you put two people with different ways together...
2006-09-18 12:37:59 · answer #5 · answered by Baby Evan is due May 18th! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inasmuch as you're both coming from different backgrounds, I think it's very normal you argue on several issues in order to reach a consensus afterwards. I so much believe in the philosophy that states that "let us disagree for us to agree". I s'ppose that's what's going on between both of you now. It's better to have that situation now than waiting till after you're married. I believe when the present season is over, you'll emerge as the best couple around cos you would've understood each other inside-out, to the extent that you'll rarely have courses to argue again.
2006-09-18 12:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my lady argue alot and sometimes it gets bad (never to violence though) and we have been tgeather for almost 10 years.
don't think it is unhealthy, occasionally things that need to be said get said even if we would not normally say it out of not wanting to hurt each other. Even hurtful things need to be sid on occasion because they are also helpful.
2006-09-18 13:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, Its not normal. I, was in a relationship for a good number of years that was doomed from the begining for that exact reason. We stayed together because we thought it was normal. Long story short, Im divorced now!!!
2006-09-18 12:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEED MORE DETAILS. WHAT ARE YOU ARGUING ABOUT. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER. IT'S NOT NORMAL TO ARGUE ALOT. IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT'S TOO MUCH THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. MAYBE YOU TWO JUST DONT HAVE ALOT IN COMMON
2006-09-18 12:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the subject. Are they stupid arguments about stupid things or are they real heated discussions about serious matters. An occasional disagreement is normal and healthy as long as it does not get personal and nasty. Name calling any more that "Dork" or "butt-munch" might indicate serious problems. If he calls you "Bit*h" or uses the "C-word" then dump him and fine a respectful guy.
2006-09-18 12:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋