Why? Why is it OK to shout and yell and hit and moan and groan and treat your child like a pice of dirt? Does being small mean you are somehow immune from feeling? How would YOU like to be bossed around 24/7 by a bunch of giants? Is there not ANYONE out there who wants to treat their child as they would wish to be treated??
Many people are nicer to their dogs than to children, what is UP with that? (I'm all for treating dogs better too, but that's a whole new topic).
Please may there just be 1 person out there who does not believe in smacking, yelling, belittling, shaming and patronising children in the name of so-called 'parenting'....??
2006-09-18 05:28:12 · 33 answers · asked by Trin 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Adults don't understand kids soak up everything from a very early age and to a child their family is their world. They figure what goes on here must be like everywhere or it must be true. So they grow up and do the same thing. It's a horrible cycle and hard to break.
It breaks my heart to see clueless parents screw their children up like this. When I can I try to let the child know they are loved. Even if it's just a kind smile. It might make a little difference. If we all did it maybe it would make a huge difference.
2006-09-18 05:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately anyone can have children via intercourse, but an adoptive parent gets the third degree.
The fitness of anyone to be a parent and guide is not questioned, as long as s/he has a child the usual way.
Short of doing actual physical harm, such as breaking a bone, anyone can smack a child and there is nothing that can be done about it except to keep educating people as to the proper disciplining of children. As in what type of discipline is appropriate for what age, and what impact different types of discipline will have on the child.
It's sad to know that people will spend hundreds of dollars to send their dog to obedience school - where the animal is never hit - but they will turn around and smack their child in anger.
We have come a long way in the past fifty years; still have a long way to go. But we can take comfort from the knowledge that the children we raised in love and strength - but without physical assault - will raise their children the same way.
2006-09-18 05:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people treat their dogs better than their partners, or their mothers?
From what I have observed, the people who treat their children the worst are the very people who were treated worst as children themselves. It is a normal pattern for people to raise their children in a similar pattern to the way they, themselves, are raised. (ie - the abused becomes the abuser). Not to say this is right, by all means, the parent has become an adult and has the mental capabilities (in most circumstances) to make a rational decision, but many people have stuck themselves in patterns and unconciously forced themselves into situations where they feel they have no choice but to act a certain way.
The sad thing is, many of these people think that you *should* hit your children, that when they do something undesirable, that they *should* be yelled at, etc etc. It starts in babyhood - babies are deprived of certain necessary experiences (for example, lots of cuddling and breastfeeding - in exchange for a bottle and being left to cry it out), continues through toddler hood (where children are in such desperate need for attention and can often be ignored - causing them to commit undesirable behavior to gain the attention that they so badly need), and by the time they are bigger kids, they too are stuck in patterns of behavior that "warrant" "punishment" (such as bullying, truancy, swearing, being rude, etc).
It's a difficult cycle. Some people are fortunate enough to realize they are in the middle of such a cycle, and break free of it. Others are not - and go on to treat their children in horrible and mind-boggling ways (to me, anyway - and no - I dont smack, I...well okay i've yelled a couple times but only out of frustration, i dont belittle, wouldnt' dream of shaming or patronizing my daughter)
2006-09-18 05:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child, I was one of those "dogs". I actually had my mother look at me when I was =/- 10 years old and tell me in a fit of rage that she HATED me and that the worst thing she ever did was to adopt me. I am 41 and that still scars deep.
Because I was treated the way I was and my cousins even worst, I vowed not to raise my children that way.
I have an 11 y/o daughter and I have smacked her hand once when she was a toddler but have never toucher her since.
I believe full-heartedly in POSITIVE PARENTING. I was always called stupid or ugly or worthless by my parents and it did very little for my sef esteem. My daughter will not feel the pain I endured. It is hard to be positive in an agrevating situation but it is harder to take back things that have been done or said in anger.
I just knew in my mind that I was somebody. I knew I wasn't worthless. And even though it took 18 years before I was able to prove it, I held on. If know a child and they are being treated as a dog. I tell them to find that light within. Know you are better. Know you have something to contribute to life. Do not let it affect your school. Devote yourself to it. It will be your saving grace, now and later on.
2006-09-18 05:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by 1loopyferretpsycho 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two sons to my first marriage, my wife has three to her first marriage, and they have all grown up to be respectable adults none of them have been brought up by yelling shouting moaning and groaning, No need for that kind of abuse, anyone who does that doesn't deserve to have children, we have grandchildren now and the parents treat their children with respect as do the children with their parents. Some people may need parenting skills, they just don't have the patience to speak or explain things to the children, or just can't be bothered and think shouting screaming or hitting is the answer, it's not!
2006-09-18 05:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by braveheart321 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Presumably because they don't know how to parent a child properly.
Having said that I am not against giving a tantrum-throwing child a smacked bottom if they are really playing up and reasoning isn't working. All this "human rights" crap is just insulting.
I guess you just have to bring them up to respect you and to realise than tantrums don't actually get them anywhere.
I look at some horrible screaming kids in the supermarket, bawling because they can't have this or that and you can see just by looking at the parents that they are soft and silly and have allowed the child to get that way through overindulgence and bad parenting skills.
2006-09-18 05:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're exaggerating a bit. While I do realize there are parents out there that don't make good parents, I believe the majority of them are doing their best... at least the ones surrounding me do.
It is pitiful to go to a store or other public place, and watch this type of abuse happening, but again... I believe there's fewer of them out there than what you're making it out to be; and I don't feel it's right to stereotype all parents into this category.
My daughter was never abused, as all I had to do was sit her down and logically talk to her, and let her think about the consequences of her actions.
Although I do feel that a little smack on the rear end periodically is sometimes needed to get a little one's attention; however, yelling, belittling, etc should not be called for.
2006-09-18 06:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have and always will treat my son how i want him to treat me and other people, i think that if you show your child respect from an early age then they will learn respect themselves too. However i do discipline my son when he needs it but a don't shout and scream at him, just teach whats right and whats wrong. I would never smack him as i think that it teaches him that its ok to smack and hit out at well, i mean if i smacked him for being naughty and he smacked me back i couldn't tell him off because he is just coping what i have done!
2006-09-18 05:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there was more respect shown between parents and children, this country would not be in the mess it is now. NO RESPECT for themselves or others.
A lot of parents do their very best in caring for their children, it is NOT easy to bring up a child. Unfortunately there will always be parents who see children as a means to an end, IE family allowance income or to get a council house
2006-09-18 05:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I wonder why dog owners allow their dogs to behave in the house and get away with things that they would.nt their kids eg biting strangers pinching food of the table doing there toilet in the house bitting clothes shoes furniture list is endless you would nt let your kids do those things even the most restrained parent would be hard pressed not clip on the ear if kids did that in the house .people get dogs to replace the kids when they leave home .I would be so insulted if my parent s did that a dog to replace some of the kids how barmy can they get if little kids were seen using the parks pavements ect has the toilet and parents with them we would be horrified EG Dont worry son I have the plastic bag I will take it home if we are spotted.But if no one sees us we.ll leave it that's how daft society is with dogs
2006-09-18 08:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋