I am "with" a 20 year old guy who has a girlfriend 6 hours away. He keeps saying they are going to break up. They have only been going out 2 months. But now he is away at college. Right now we are friends with benefits. He keeps telling me not to get attached to him. But, I am falling for him. I'm afraid to confront him about any of this. I am not sure what to do with my situation.
2006-09-18 05:10:02 · 27 answers · asked by merryunbirthday7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you confront him and he doesn't want it, like it seems he doesn't, not only, one can only assume, and from my past experience surely guess, will he want to be friends w/ benifits with you any more but may distance himself from you. Dont push it, he may end up falling for you after a while, just as you have for him. Good Luck!
2006-09-18 05:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is in his telling you frequently not to get attached to him. This is the pitfall of being in a friends with benefits relationship. The answer is simple but one that you don't seem prepared to do. His intentions have been made clear from the start. He is using you for the benefits. What will you do if you are the one to end up dealing with the consequences. You deserve to be treated with more respect. Drop this guy this minute. You will end up being hurt far more than this. Also, consider that he has a gf and has you as well. He would only do the same thing to you. He undoubtedly has more than just one friend like you which makes him no FRIEND at all.
2006-09-18 12:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me explain something to you!
You fell in love with him because you had sex with him. For women, sex is a very emotional experience. Sex connects a woman with the person emotionally and physically because a woman sees the two as intertwining.
You must understand that men do not think that way. Just because you were physical and had sex with him does not mean he has an emotional connection as you do.
The whole idea of friends with benefits is to have sex without the connection. It is much easier for men than it is for women because the emotions come out of sex with her but not with him. He has told you he is not interested. What more do you need to hear???
Stop giving him benefits and find someone to love without the benefits. I mean all friends with benefits becomes for men is a way to get some. That is all it becomes! Sorry, but even if he did come to like you, would you really want to be with him because you two had good sex? Is he really your "friend"? Moving on would NO DOUBT be the best option here. You can gain nothing by continuing to have feelings.
2006-09-18 12:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by +TheEndIsInSight+ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In answer to the first part of your question, Friends with Benefits can become something more. They can become parents.
Now, with regard to the rest of your question: When a man tells you that you shouldn't get attached, but continues to want sex from you, he regards you as an easy lay and nothing more. If that's all you want from your relationships, go ahead and continue to be his whore. Otherwise, if you have any dignity at all, tell him a gentle good bye and find some guy who will treat you respectfully and with affection.
2006-09-18 12:15:02 · answer #4 · answered by Clarkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've done friends with benefits twice...the second time was with a different guy and we ended up going back out with each other. Yes, it can work, but I'm not too sure in your situation. He says their going to break up...uhh what's taking him so long to break up with her then? Yeah she lives 6 hrs. away but if he's really going to break up with then he needs to get on with it. I don't think you should do anything with him until he does break up with her b/c he's getting it from you and when he sees her (if he does) he may get it from her too, so I think you're being strung along. I only think it works if he's not with someone also, not when he is with someone b/c that isn't fair to you at all.
2006-09-18 12:15:09 · answer #5 · answered by dancer1883 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they can, if both ppl want it too. However, if he is telling you not to get attached then he is giving you his answer. It sounds to me though that you do not value yourself much if he is saying this to you and you continue to sleep with him. It's normal to get attached when you in a sexual relationship with someone, which is why in the "friends with benefits" situation someone usually gets hurt. My advice is for you to back away now before you really get hurt.
2006-09-18 12:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would stop seeing him. Now he is getting what he wants of the relationship and you are getting hurt.
As long as you give him benefits, he will never leave his gf. Also, Would you really want to be with a guy who is cheating on his gf? If he does it to her, what do you think he will do with you when you are together?
I think friends with benefits can develop into something more, but this case doesn't seem to be leading anywhere else but your heart being broken,
2006-09-18 12:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can but usually instead it just ends up with one person getting their heart broken. In this case you are the one who is going to get their heart broken. You need to end this relationship and tell him that you have feelings for him and unless he is willing to be in a real relationship with you then it is over. Lets face it he already has been cheating on his current gf with at least you and I suspect he has several other girls that are friends with benefits. You deserve more than to just be one of many....
2006-09-18 12:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this thing that you and him have is not going to work out for the fact that he doesnt want you to get attached he is telling you something,plus he has a girlfriend eventhough they've been going out for 2 months there together remember that. my advice to you is to go and look for someone new who could be with you and love you. not for a fling like the other is doing. good luck!
2006-09-18 12:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by labonitameli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they can never be anything more than friends with benefits because one out of the two gets serious whether the other the one isn't.its better to move away from him now rather than to stay put n nurse a bruised heart later.
2006-09-18 12:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by glamdoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋