2006-09-18 04:54:53 · 33 answers · asked by Joe C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am sorry to hear that...I also put on a lot of weight and was happy with my body as long as my husband was. I would definetly wait until the baby is older and give her body time to change back. You have two completely different bodies between when you are pregnant and when you are not. I am sure she will lose a little here and there but don't tell her she is unattractive because she could develop post partum depression really badly. I can tell you do not want to hurt her feelings and just want some advice. Remember, she is still the same person on the inside and just because you think she looks differently on the outside, she still loves all of you. I am sure you would not take your baby back just so your wife would be thin again. Good Luck to you Joe! And congratulations to you and your lovely wife on your new baby...:)
2006-09-18 08:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by jhgrace06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This often happens after childbirth. Her body is going through many changes now as her body transitions from nurturing the baby internally to nuturing the baby externally (through breast milk).
Continue giving your wife the same love and support you did before and during her pregnancy. She depends on you now more than ever. If she continues to feel appreciated by you, she will want to look thinner again.
Right now, she is focusing raising the new baby, so weight is not a primary concern right now. Once the baby enters toddler-hood, you and your wife can start becoming more physically active again (walks in the park, etc.).
Try changing your perspective on the matter. Your wife didn't want to put on the weight. She wanted to have your baby. Doesn't that make you want to love her even more?
I have been married nearly 20 years and after giving birth to our second child, my wife has put on a lot of weight. That's a natural part of middle age, in her case. I love her even more for what she has done for me and our children over the years. She's my beautiful wife and I wouldn't trade her for anybody!
I am sure you will feel the same way when you see how much joy the baby brings into your lives and how much more beautiful your wife is in an even deeper, more mature way.
Congratulations on your new baby!!
2006-09-18 05:06:05 · answer #2 · answered by Jazz In 10-Forward 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Libido usually falls after giving birth for both partners. But just remember that your wonderful wife gave you a precious child! Her body went through major changes and alterations just do create and deliver that little life! Weight gain is normal, but don't encourage her to drop the weight right away. She needs her rest not only for her sake, but for the baby's as well.
What she does need is rest, well-balanced meals (low fat, high protein), and somewhere between 2 to 6 weeks, she should start taking walks without straining herself. Plop little baby in a stroller and go. This is very good for mother and baby.
Take care of your wife and dwell on the beauty of her motherhood. Let her know she's beautiful and that you're going to help her feel like herself again.
The more you uplift your wife, the more likely she'll be to take better care of herself.
Also, if she's interested in getting back in shape and boosting her energy levels, I recommend Kathy Smith's pregnancy workout DVD.
And if she's reading this, I also encourage her to keep healthy. No fatty, bad for you snacks! Don't worry about the weight just yet. Just take care of yourself. The rest will follow. But when the time feels right (and you have doc's ok) do try to get exercise in. You'll feel so much better and be able to take care of baby better. :)
I'm not just blowing smoke here. I'm a new mommy, too. My baby is nearly 6 months old.
2006-09-18 05:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by ladyscott 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are going through the same thing. She more than likely realizes she has put on quite a bit of weight and is finding she feels she is less attractive too. Did you know that it can take some women more than a year to get back to their original weight? So, you should initiate the "let's-get-exercising-to- get-back-in-shape" stage. Go on walks as a family. Walking is a great starter, especially if there wasn't a lot of exercise while pregnant. Most importantly, try to be as understanding and supportive as you can. This is a hard place for her too. Oh, and the YMCA usually has mommy and me exercise classes and usually they are free to new mommies. You can go too. I know it must sound very cliche to say exercise helps but it does. When she feels better about herself, you will also find you feel better too.
2006-09-18 05:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by Amber N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a breath and don't get your undie's in a knot, that's a start. The overwhelming majority of women don't walk out of hospital in prepregnant style. A lot of women don't get back into their old clothes for a year. Occasionally, women are able to fit those prepregnancy jeans 6 weeks after childbirth.
Last things you want to do is start eyeballing other women, cheat or point out her weight gain- this she knows already. Make a move toward healthy eating, important for her if she's breastfeeding, for the health of you both, and to set a proper example to your new child. Then get out the pram/stroller and show that baby off by walking around the neighborhood, parks or mall on a daily basis. This should get things moving in the right direction without telling her she's unattractively fat- Especially after what she just accomplished for you and your family, you selfish cad.
2006-09-18 05:03:14 · answer #5 · answered by auld mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Things will firm up again after a while, though she might never get down to her pre-pregnancy weight. I assume you married her because you love her, not just because she was physically attractive. Concentrate on your love for her, and keep an eye on the baby whenever she needs to get out and about so that she can get the weight off. It's hard to lose weight when you're tied down like a new mother.
2006-09-18 04:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She just had a baby. Give her the support she needs with the baby and house so she can take care of herself. Don't bug her about getting back to her prebaby weight, it took 9 months for her to put it on. To take it off safely, will take around that much time, unless she is an actress who has lots of money for nannies and personal trainers.
Also, because 99% of sexual arrousal is mental, just let your brain do what it did before she put on the baby weight.
2006-09-18 05:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very common for this to happen. A woman's body is in turmoil for at least a year after child birth. Give her time, be supportive and accepting of her as she is. She is still your wife.
If it becomes an issue then have a talk with her but under no circumstances should you be critical or judgmental. Rapid weight gain can hurt her health and that is much more important than how she looks.
2006-09-18 05:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by b b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her some time, and help her eat more healthy. She must be busy with the kid, so try cooking for her or offer to babysit the kid when she's working out.
You can also try working out together- find a baby sitter, and go biking or swimming together- this will also give you some adult time alone without the kid.
Also, tell her that the extra weight is not good for her health- because it's not. It annoys me when women let go and gain 100 pounds because they're pregnant- it raises the kid's chances of childhood diabetes, poor eyesight and hinders brain development,and it also makes the kid more likely to lose its mom prematurely because of a heart attack or stroke.
2006-09-18 07:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by jimbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For better or worse. If your feeling like your wife is unattractive, imagine how she is feeling. I’m positive she is feeling unattractive too and she is going to need your help to boost her self esteem and to loose the weight. You are being incentive, she just had a baby and it takes time to lose the baby fat. You need to tell her how much you love her, how you appreciate her having your child, and how you will be there for her, and to help her lose the weight to become the person you know and love once again.
2006-09-18 05:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by luvlynspecial 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋