Things have been real tense with my husband and I lately, we don't make love very often,we get agrivated with each other. I asked him if he's bothered that we don't make love very often he told me no, but I have noticed that when he goes to kiss me he just kisses me on the forhead, cheek, or nose. And if he kisses me on the lips its just real quick peck. What does this mean when your husband begins acting lik this?
2006-09-18 04:53:48 · 13 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
It could be any number of things. The best thing I would recommend is to get counseling. If he doesn't want to go, go by yourself. You can learn a lot from counseling on what is going on, even if he is not there. One other thing I would say is to not jump to conclusions. Don't assume the worst and act on those feelings. If you are wrong, it could just make something that is repairable worst, and unrepairable.
2006-09-18 06:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mutt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I want to thank you for supporting your Country. Yes, I mean, YOU...the Marine wife. Being a military wife is tough....being a Marine wife is very tough.
To your question...
There are some variables to which have not been provided, but I will take my best guess to fill in. A few options:
1. If he has recently returned from deployment, it will take a while to get back in the grove. Heck, McDonalds was still a shock to me when I got back. If this is the case, he needs nothing more than time and to know you're there....and not going anywhere. Just be your usual caring self and he'll come around.
2. If he has not been deployed, then I would consider if his superiors are putting heavy demands of him at work. Men tend to turn the "what" of what we do into the "who we are." This is especially true for Marines. If his superiors are placing heavy or unrealistic demand on him, he may have a feeling of inadequacy...that he can't perform as a Marine. Since we (Men) tend to wrap our jobs as the "who" of what we are, this can easily transcend to the rest of their life. Hence, "I feel I'm not a good Marine, therefore, I'm not a good man....father...husband, lover, etc.")
3. Does he have a reason (rational or irrational) to believe he can't trust you? Would he have a reason for believing you have somehow not been "true" or "faithful" in the marriage?
4. Has he strayed or maybe has/is considering straying from the marriage?
5. Is he angry/frustrated with you for an item or issue for which he believes you should know, but are not addressing? If so, perhaps he feels you should address it first.
6. Has he suffered a recent loss? Fellow Marine, etc?
Hope this helps.
Gunny
2006-09-18 09:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all do you suspect him of cheating you might want to do some investingating check cell bills for numbers things like that, you didnt say if he has been deployed I'm sure he has but he may be suffering from ptsd its very serious my husband was a marine for 8 years and deployed with the invading unit in 2003 he came back very different, He is somewhat back to normal now but you have to realize it affects everyone different and he may not even know why he is feeling like this. Talk to him about marriage counseling the military offers it so take advantage of it before its too late. The best thing is communication but if you do suspect he's been cheating then you have every right to investigate it.
2006-09-18 06:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by ArmyWife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Marine Wife,
Oh, I know this is hard. I am often away from my husband who is somtimes overseas and away from me for over 6 months at a time. I know THIS IS HARD!!! Not only is is hard being apart, but it is VERY awkward getting back together.
When I am alone at home, I do all the shopping, housekeeping, driving, working, paying bills, etc. I live as if I were a single woman. When Hubby comes back to me, I have to make room for him - not just in the house but in my life. I have to realize that he may not put the kitchen towel back on the rack when he uses it to dry his hands. OK. Little things are frustrating. But he is adjusting, too.
HE has been through hell while he has been away from me. It is hard for his adrenaline levels to calm down, for him to sleep well at night, and it is awkward making love - yup. That's ok.
DON'T WORRY! LOVE HIM!!!! GIVE HIM TIME AND SPACE. It is really hard, and sometimes I've wondered if we would ever really love each other the same way as we did on our wedding day, BUT you know what, we always grow stronger. We are more in love now than ever.
just give him time. be patient. be REALLY patient.
Just keep loving him.
You have my prayers!!!!
;-)
Wow, you have some really good and thoughtful answers below. As you can see, you're not the only one who has to deal with this situation, and if you can discuss it with another military wife, that may help.
Your man has been through some things that he may never want to tell you about, but that is OK. I speak as both a daughter and wife - I remember my father not speaking to any of us for weeks sometimes after he came home.
Be patient - VERY patient
Be strong
Love him
Forgive him - he does not mean to cause you pain.
Remember the rest of us who are feeling or have felt the same!
2006-09-18 05:04:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should know your husband better than anyone. What do you think is wrong? Ask him. Every Marine is different. For many this could be a sign of guilt due to an affair. It could be just as simple as he is stressed out and worried about something. I suggest you ask him. Has he recently gotten home from a deployment? Many times when a Marine returns, it takes a while to warm back up to family and friends. Good luck.
2006-09-22 03:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by fin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 02:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by kroner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has been working hard and alot lately than it could have something to do with that. or he might be going through some stupid phase. the only other explination would be (and I don't mean to depress you or anything) that he is getting either tired or bored with the relationship. but you have to give him the benefit of the doubt as well. sit down and have a nice long talk about whats on your mind. and he should tell you what all is on his mind. but all in all. you guys just need to talk
2006-09-18 05:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Drizzt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank your husband for serving.He probably displays that lack of emotion because combat does strange things to people.Unfortunately, military wife's have to deal with military "baggage".After 20 years serving,my wife was so sick of my covert deployments,she was almost ready for divorce court.That is why i quit,my marriage to my loving wife was more important to me.
2006-09-18 05:13:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on how long you have been married..my sister went thru something similar and they fought quite a bit...my mother swears that everyone fights the first five years of marriage, after that its smooth sailing...most likely he's stressed with work or something, its probably nothing to worry about. good luck!
2006-09-18 05:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by spaceyinla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be having an affair and feels guilty. May have done something terrible in war and feels guilty. May know or suspect something about you. May be falling out of love.
2006-09-18 05:01:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋