There is nothing going on in his life that should make him this way, he thinks he should have everything he asks for and starts when the answer is no. Help please!!
2006-09-18 04:49:45 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
murder him
2006-09-18 04:51:38 · answer #1 · answered by twystiejunior 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You mentioned that nothing is going on in his life that should make him the way he is.
Perhaps there may be something that you are unaware of.
It may be just a ‘stage’ that he is going through, or it could be something more serious.
I’m assuming he goes to school, so it is perhaps worthwhile contacting his teacher to find out what his current behaviour at school is like.
You could perhaps try some reverse psychology…
Ask him for things, and whenever he says ‘no’, be as rude and aggressive toward him as what he is toward you !
I know that two wrongs don’t make a right, but if you explain to him that you are only carrying on the same way he does, he will hopefully get the message.
You could perhaps sit down quietly with him and explain that you try to do the best you can for him, and that you can’t always afford to give him everything he wants.
Tell him that you love him very much, and that you do not deserve to be spoken to and treated so rudely.
If there is a relative that he isn’t particularly fond of, you could perhaps suggest that if he continues his bad behaviour, you will have no choice but to have him live at that relative’s house. There are other options of course, like telling him that he will be forcing you to put him in a home, or whatever.
I appreciate that you should be working from a ‘loving’ approach, but I’m guessing you have already tried a few different approaches with him.
Sorry I can’t think of any other suggestions for you at this time, other than to suggest that if things get too out of hand, you perhaps may need to consult a child counsellor.
Perhaps if there is a school counsellor, he/she may be able to talk to your son, to try to source out the cause of the behaviour.
You may need to keep tabs on your son to make sure he doesn’t start stealing from you and the family. If he is behaving badly because you don’t give him what he wants, he may resort to stealing stuff in order to get it.
Sorry I can’t be more helpful !!!
2006-09-18 11:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs a spanking but he may need some more time with you. SOmetimes children act out and dont realize why they are doing it. For attention! There maybe something at school going on. Maybe you and him could go see his favorite sporting event together.
Being that he is 10 he maybe noticing the difference in size between the two of you growing smaller and smaller. About this time is when boys retest the boundaries with Mom. If you are a single Mom this means reestablishing the boundaries and if you are married maybe getting Dad to step in to let your Son know he will back you up. I had to reassure my Son that no matter how much bigger he got than me that he would always be my baby (boys love that term Ha HA) and his Dad would always back me up. This stage won't last long and things will be back to normal soon. JUst hang in there and show him lots of love!
2006-09-18 11:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by Stiletto ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am old fashioned,though I am told 'spanking' is now frowned upon. Try to talk to him and explain that always getting what you want is not realistic. Though a certain level of immaturity is to bne expecetd from a 10 yr old, outright rudeness is not.Then punish him. Take away privilidges for a set amount of time and stick to it. Not that dopey 10 minute time out BS. A day without TV or video games. Next Infraction two days. etc, etc. Punishment should always be tempered with learning the lesson, but part of the lesson is that actions have consequences. All children test their parents and its human nature to get away with what people allow you to. Best to nip this in the bud early.
2006-09-18 11:55:31 · answer #4 · answered by Toxic Buddah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 year olds unfortunately like to exert their power they think they no best and they are the most important thing in the world........
I think that you have to deal with this in a firm manner - try not to raise your voice - as children become imune to raised voices and it doesnt tend to get you anywhere....... If you say no you should mean no and then I would go on to ignore him...... if he continues just say James when I say No I mean No and it is non negotiable ....... I am not discussing this further. Do not enter into any dialogue with him.
When in a calmer time when you are both together bring the subject of his behaviour and be nice and tell him that he cant always have what he wants and be honest for the reasons behind it eg.... you cant afford it ......or whatever the reason......
The main thing to do in this situation is stay calm stay focused and eventually you will win the battel ......... Good luck
2006-09-18 11:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by dee9166 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discipline.
When he "starts" because he's told he can't have something or he's rude to people, it's time to punish. Try sending him to his room for a hour. If he still acts up in there, increase the time. If this doesn't work start taking other things he likes away (video games, movies, favorite toys, TV and phone privledges, etc.) and don't give in just because you can't stand listening to him whine about it because he's counting on that. Be firm and don't waver. If you say he's going to be in his room for an hour, then don't let him out early. If you take something away for the day, don't put it back until the next day. Stand by your punishments.
2006-09-18 11:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to nip this in the bud RIGHT AWAY. He needs to learn that he is not the boss and that you were not placed on this Earth to service his every want. He is obviously beyond reason, so don't try to reason with him. Tell him "No," if he asks why the answer is "Because I said no," and if he starts acting up tell him that he had better knock it off or he'll get punished. You'll have to determine what type of punishment is appropriate, but you have to make sure you make good on your threats of punishment when he doesn't knock it off. He will continue to behave this way as long as you let him, so the answer is to stop letting him behave that way.
2006-09-18 11:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a stubborn child at his age I think is just a phase in the life of a child. Eventually, he will just learn how to be responsible. I suggest that you should spend more time with him according to his interests. Example: He wants to play basketball, you should also play with him once in awhile. Discipline him indirectly until he develops the stage where he will be able to realize what is right and what is wrong. Don't scold the child as I recommend.
2006-09-18 14:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by entrepreneur_boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My be their is some thing going of at school or some problem at home sit him down and have a word with him and try to find out what is troubling him
2006-09-18 15:07:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being rude because you are letting him. I know people don't like it now a days but don't be afraid to give spankings- yes they work. I am a father of 4.
2006-09-18 11:59:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly how do you know for sure he doesn't have something troubling him. He might not be able to tell you. Talk to him about this when he is in a good mood. Be calm and gentle with him.
2006-09-22 07:28:33 · answer #11 · answered by Actionchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋