This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Additional Details

26 minutes ago
And, yes, her mom likes me, she told me that she is encouraging her daughter to date me, she also said that it was really hard for her daughter to sent that email, but in the mean time, she is really flirty with this other guy.

But it's weird, like sometimes she'll seem sad, cuz she wants to be with me, then shell go and be REALLy happy and flirty with this other guy, then shell come up and talk to me, like she misses me, and then shell go flirt with him, I'm just SO CONFUSED, please help.

but i mean, the way she is around him, is the way she used to be around me, and its weird, cuz we dont talk nearly nearly as much as we used to, and its almost like shes sad, or missin that or sumthin, but then all over this other guy

Answer 1

looks like she is not ready yet so wait a little see what else is there....try and hang out more... maybe make her jealous or ask her friends to talk with her...maybe shes trying to make you jealous with that other guy? if you really want it to work make her real comfortable around you and less tense and then you can take time alone with her so she knows theres no one ther and she feels that its ok to talk to you without worries

Answer 2

You are borderline obsessive. HEAR/READ ME OUT PLEASE!

"I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think that's how things should stay"


She likes you as a friend and you are pushing her. Getting her Mom involved is not right, I mean yes her Mom's opinion matters but chances are that what her Mom wants to see and what she actually wants for herself are two totally different things.

Stop putting yourself out there like that or you may just end up embarrassed.

ALSO You have said your piece now just lay back and If it was meant to be she will come around eventually. I'm telling you that pushing and getting others involved is a B line to you getting your feelings hurt in the end.

Answer 3

Hate to give you the typical "Old Man Answer (tm)", but:

She's young,dood. She hasn't the faintest clue what she wants. Just be her friend, but do not let her forget for a second that you are interested in her (that might stop the flirting, otherwise you may have to be more direct).

Here's the other thing: You're young, dood. Do not let her consume your thoughts like this. If she goes out with another guy, it would kill you in your current state, and that can not be allowed to happen. You know the sea is full of fish, right? Besides, see your reaction when she flirts with other guys? Try flirting with other girls. WHOLE-HEARTED FLIRTING, anything else she'll see right through.

Crazy, man. And guess what? It doesn't get any easier as they get older. Good luck, and don't let it get you down.

Answer 4

First of all, you are both too young to know true love. If you have been the best of friends since the age of 7, you already have the best relationship of all, true friendship. Many couples lose that friendship after being married too long. Many of my friends relationships have falled apart because they are not friends anymore. My advise, be a friend to her, love her as a sister, nothing more. You never know, within 10 years things may change; you are both still kids; young and immature kids. Talk to her as a friend, be honest to each other. Be there for her when she's sad and scared. Do not scare her yourself by forcing yourself on her, this may intimidate her, losing her faith and trust in you! Show her respect by not keeping her up until all hours, talk on the phone, 30 min max. If she still will not talk to you; give her space, this is also showing respect.

Both of you need to finish school, whether at home or in the school itself; education is important; your spelling needs improvement. Both of you will never get jobs paying more than minimum wage if you quit school; what kind of life is that?

Talk to your parents, be honest with yourself; give each other time to think about life, don't jump into anything too quick; you have many years ahead; like you said, you're only 15; you have lots of growing up to do first.

Answer 5

Well, here's what I think...

I think she really at least cares about you as a friend...and has probably at least THOUGHT about maybe seeing you two as more than that but didn't think it would work out...You sound like a nice enough guy and I think maybe you should give her some space....leave her alone, maybe not talk to her for a few days and see what happens?

If she really cares about you in "that" way, I'm sure she will come to you...if she cares about you as a friend, she will let you know that she misses her friend!

Keep in mind that there are over 6 BILLION people on this planet and that there are other fish in the sea! Just wait until college hehehehehe.

Answer 6

I commend you for your openness!!

I met my wife when I was 13 I bugged her to go out with me she wouldn’t she hated my guts at the time then a few years passed and we began dating when I was 15, got married when I was 18 I knew that she was the women I wanted to spend my life with. Her and I have been together 15 years now. We have had our problems but hey we all do.

The best thing you should do is embrace what you do have with her and that is friendship
The one thing that comes above all else even when married just being friends. If she feels the same way for you it might just take time don’t push it stay close and like I said before embrace it.

Answer 7

I really think you need to see a psychologist. Honestly, I'm worried about you, you seem almost suicidal. Tell your parents you're having a very hard time coping with this and you want to talk to a psychologist. Realize how obsessed you are with this situation, not just this situation but posting this. It's consuming you, the situation isn't going your way so you just keep dwelling on it more and more.

Answer 8

maybe she wants to be more then friends but is really shy and afraid to loose you if things don't work out. Also her friends reaction might really be bothering her. Matters of the heart and pressure are really hard at that stage. She might be afraid to get hurt.
remain her friend for now and show her you care about her.let her make the first move if and when she becomes ready.
If you push her and she isn't ready then the friendship could be ruined.
Be patient and wait for her to come to you.

Answer 9

I say she doesnt know what she wants from a guy quite yet. Give it time...she might just come around. And if not-you still have that friendship...one where you have a very special bond. If she really really does like you- she'll let you know when the time is right.

Answer 10

Got news for you pal -- she's just as confused as you are. She doesn't know what she wants. Problem is, as long as you're around and available she can and will string you along. You DEFINITELY don't want to be there.

As hard as it's going to be, you need to step back and give her space. While you're doing that, you need to get back to your own life and doing your own thing on your own schedule. Don't wait for her to call, and don't be at her beck and call. No problem if you continue to be friends with her, but don't spend as much time hanging out with her at school or after school if you normally do that.

If you hang around her too much she'll realize that you're building your world around her, and she'll come to regard you as a desperate lost puppy. She'll then lose all respect for you, but she'll continue to use and abuse you and string you along. Remember that YOU DON'T NEED HER, and that's the message she needs to get loud and clear.

If you want to have any chance of a long-term relationship with this girl, she needs to see that you have a life of your own and you won't simply drop everything at a moment's notice for her. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know; but trust me on this one: This whole thing about women wanting guys who are nice, sensitive, and accommodating is a big lie. "Nice guys" are labeled as wimps, eunuchs, girly-men, take your pick. They also always hear the old tired line "Let's just be friends." Doesn't mean you have to be a jerk, but it does mean that you have to be confident and you have to possess the attitude that you're not going to let anyone use you or push you around. Be strong.